Rose
by thatonedimstar
Summary: A gift, or a curse? That was what Clarissa wondered when she noticed her memory was gone. Knowing she belonged to the recently destroyed Shiganshina, she was leaning more on the side of it being a gift. Once she gets her memory back, will still see it as such?
1. Chapter 1

I wrote this a while ago, so I am aware that it isn't the best writing. Specifically, I know that I say names too often, and that there isn't complete sentences or much description.

This was second time re-writing it, and I don't feel like going back and doing it all over again. But if you guys do really enjoy it, I will go back and edit/rewrite some of it.

* * *

Clarissa leaned up against the fence outside of the bunker where some of the female 104th cadets were resting. It was only one week away from the graduation ceremony. Clarissa was granted the option to become a member of the Military Police. After barely any contemplation she chose to go to the Survey Corps.

There were two reasons, one because she had a friend. He was joining the Survey Corps, she couldn't leave him behind. Two, because she had no one to show how accomplished she was. She had no family, or anyone that she loved, or anyone from her past she could remember. So maybe she did have people, or maybe not. Clarissa never knew.

She didn't have any memory of family, or friends.

All around her people talked about how they miss their parents. Somewhere deep inside Clarissa had always hoped that there was some horrible reason why she couldn't remember her past. From the pieces she had she knew she came from Shiganshina. She hoped she was hit by a rock on her way out, and she got amnesia.

These were futile attempts to feel more comfortable with the feeling. The feeling of loving no one, no one loving her, not having a childhood, that she could remember. Not having any goals, or fears, or any reasons to be mad. Everything was so bland. So boring.

The only part of her life she remembered, was she lived in Shiganshina, her name, and her birthday. Even these facts she wasn't sure of. How could she? She didn't remember anything, she didn't even know the way Shiganshina looked like. She didn't even know what the outside of the training camp looked like.

A slight breeze came across Clarissa, her black hair flew over her face. She tucked her hair behind her ear. The night was cold, bitter, almost cold enough that a jacket was required. She heard footsteps coming toward her, she squared her shoulders as she waited to see who was coming.

Once the figure got near enough for Clarissa to see it clearly, Clarissa could tell was Armin. This wasn't a surprise, he always came to talk with Clarissa at night. Despite that, Clarissa is always on guard. For fear that she would miss out on something that might bring back her past.

"Hey Clare, sorry I am late. Eren wanted to talk to me before I came." Armin said walking up the three steps up to the deck in front of the bunkers.

"You know you don't have to come here every night." Clarissa said before she sat down on the bench. Armin joined her not a second after.

"You don't talk that much during the day. You always talk to me." He said with the same smile he always gave everyone. Full of happiness, and politeness. If Clarissa wasn't so cold she would smile back.

"There is nothing to talk about. You already know everything about me." Clarissa said looking forward at the darkness in front of her. She almost got lost in it before Armin spoke again.

"All I know is your age and name. There has to be more to you." He said sounding hopeful. Clarissa took a deep breath closed her eyes.

"No, there isn't. If you somehow find out something about me that does not involve my name and age I will happily talk to you about it." Clarissa said opening her eyes at the end of it. When her eyes opened Armin had a blank expression. Not one that he normally expressed. Which worried Clarissa slightly.

"I am worried that you are joining the Military Police. I mean, you are allowed to go, but then you wouldn't be with me." He said. Clarissa shook her head.

"Actually, I am joining the Survey Corps." Clarissa said and she stood up and took a step forward to reach the railing. She leaned up against the railing and her long black hair fell over her face. Hiding the outside world from her view.

"Really? I was sure you were going to join the Military Police. You seem like that kind of person." Clarissa straightened quickly and pushed her hair behind her ear.

"I didn't know that I was a 'type' of anything." Clarissa said. Armin's mouth hinged open.

"Sorry, I didn't mean anything by that!" He said. Clarissa nodded and crossed her arms.

"I know," Clarissa looked out at the blackness. "I will see you tomorrow. We should both rest." Clarissa said before she walked away into the bunker. When she got in half of the girls were sitting up staring at her. Clarissa just looked over them before she went to her bed and crawled in still fully clothed.


	2. Chapter 2

After a long night of riding back on horseback, the new Survey Corps recruits arrive at the Survey Corps base. It was breakfast right when they arrived, so they got their food and sat down in the large Mess hall.

Clarissa sat down at the end of a table. She hoped she could be alone for breakfast, but she never got what she wanted so of course people came to sit with her. Armin, Mikasa, and Eren joined her at the table.

Clarissa taped her fork on the side of the plate. Her head rested in her palm, her hair was resting over her face. This was often a way of telling people to leave her alone, but today it didn't seem to be working. Maybe it was because they were too busy talking about how amazing it is to finally be a Scout.

Maybe Clarissa would be that excited if there was an actual reason on why she joined. In some ways not having a reason was a reason in itself. But it wasn't an actual reason to go and join the most deadly of the Military branches. Maybe it was because her friends were joining it. Could she even call them friends? They knew nothing about her. Nothing.

They could just be keeping her around for the sole purpose that she was good at killing titans. But Mikasa had that job, she was pretty protective over Eren. Maybe they kept her around because Armin needed someone to watch him.

"Clarissa," Armin said. Clarissa straightened up and she noticed that almost everyone at the table was watching her. She looked to the end of the table and beside her was a soldier. He was holding out a folder.

"For me?" Clarissa asked. He nodded and held out the paper further.

"It is from Commander Erwin." he said. This was enough for Clarissa to pull it out of his hand and flip it open. Her eyes darted over the paper as she read it. Before she got to the middle of the paper the soldier had already walked away.

The paper was pretty much a formal invitation to meet the Commander in his office after breakfast. It was also less of an invitation and more of a command. It would have been less embarrassing to have been asked in person. But Clarissa never got embarrassed so it just would have been more convenient.

"What is it?" Eren asked. Once Clarissa finished reading it she looked up at him and shrugged. She held it out to him and he took it.

"Read it out loud," she said. Eren nodded and began to read it out, but only so that the four of them could hear..

"Dear Clarissa Everdeen, I am asking you to meet me in my office after breakfast. If you do not show up I will have to send some soldiers after you. They will have full authority to get you to me in any way they deem fit. I suspect you know what this is about. This is just a warning for you to prepare for what is to come_._" Eren read out. Once he had finished he let it go. Just before the file hit his bowl of cereal Clarissa reached across the table and grabbed it mid-fall.

"Do you know what he wants to talk about?" Armin asked. She shrugged and dusted off the folder. "Are you some kind of criminal?" She shook her head and laughed. Like actually laughed.

The reaction from her laughing was a mix or fear, confusion, and joy. It didn't look like they knew what their emotions were either. After her laughing fit was over, she had on a wide grin. A small smile would be enough to startle her friends, so this was immobilizing them. She never laughed, smiled, or really showed any emotion. Eren was about to speak but his mouth shut after Mikasa glared at him before he could say anything.

"I could be a serial killer for all I know. But, don't worry, I have no intention of murdering anyone." Clarissa said. As she said it her smile faded. They said nothing until the end of breakfast. In the middle she got out of her seat and the soldier that brought her the papers stood up at the same time. His eyes burning on hers.

To say the least the letter was not lying. So she sat back down.

"You're not a murder, right?" Eren asked as they stood from their seats. Clarissa looked at him. They stood there staring at each other for what felt life an hour, it was probably just a minute.

"I don't think so. I don't have any memory of murdering. But I have severe memory loss, so don't quote me on it." Clarissa said before she walked away into the hallway. Once she was in the hallway she noticed that someone was following her. Probably to make sure she didn't run off. When she got to the Commander's office he was already in the office waiting for her. Outside of it was Captain Levi leaning up against the wall with is arms crossed. Clarissa stopped in front of him and she mimicked his stance by crossing her arms. At this he straightened out and dropped his arms to his side.

"Are you insulting me?" he asked. She dropped her arms to her side and then saluted.

"No, sir." she said. He nodded and stepped aside from the door to the office and he gestured to it with his head.

"He is waiting, go." he said, leaving no room to refuse. She nodded and without hesitation walked through the door. Commander Erwin looked up from his desk, or whatever paperwork he was doing, and smiled as she entered.

She closed the door then saluted to him. "At ease." Clarissa dropped her arms, but still kept the posture and stance.

"You asked for me sir?" She asked, he nodded and gestured toward the seat. Taking the hin, Clarissa walked up to the seat and sat.

"Yes, do you know why I asked you to meet with me?" he asked, she shook her head.

"No sir, I do not." she said. Commander Erwin nodded and straightened up in his chair. His eyebrows knitted together for a fraction of a second.

"On your history it states that you were born somewhere in wall Sina and adopted by a family in Shiganshina. Is this correct?"

"Yes sir, it is." she said, nodding her head. He sighed and checked something off on the paper. Clarissa squinted her eyes to try and see what it was, but she couldn't see anything.

"Is it true that you have no recollection of your time before the fall of wall Maria?"

"No, I don't,"

"Then how can we be sure that you aren't lying about your history?" She paused, with her mouth open slightly, thinking through everything.

"You can't, sir. Where are you going with this?" she asked, finally gathering herself.

Commander Erwin sighed for before he spoke. "I am saying, that neither wall Sina nor wall Maria have information on your adoption. So I have a feeling that you are lying about your past."

"I understand your concern." she muttered. After a long awkward silence Commander Erwin cleared his throat drawing attention to himself.

"In order to clear you of speculation you have to spend some time with Commander Hange." he said. She was taking time to choose the question she was going to ask. There were so many questions she wanted to ask.

"How long will I be spending with her?"

"As long as it takes to clear you of speculation." She shot to her feet.

"What am I being accused of?" she said, her voice raised in nearly a yell. The door swung open and Captain Levi charged in holding both of her arms behind her back. She struggled at first but gave up after she knew she wasn't going to be let go of.

"That information will not be released to you. In case what we are assuming is correct." Commander Erwin says evenly.

Clarissa closed her eyes and took a deep breathe. "Can you please let go of me sir? I will sit down and not move from the seat." Commander Erwin looked past her at Captain Levi, then he nodded and Captain Levi let go of her. He didn't completely let go of her hand until she was sitting down.

"Now please, what am I being accused of?" she asked, trying her hardest to keep her voice steady.

"Like I said, I cannot tell you." he said. Clarissa nodded taking a deep breath to try and suppress her anger.

"As soon as I am cleared will I be made aware of what I was accused of?" she said, choosing to speak as formally as she could.

He took a moment to respond. "Possibly, but we are still unsure if you will be cleared."

"Could you please just," Her voice rose. She took a deep breath to take time to steady her voice. "When am I going with Commander Hange?"

"She will be here in the morning. Until then you will be watched over by Captain Levi." "May I stand up now sir?" she asked, he nodded. Clarissa stood up and saluted to him then she walked out of the room, Captain Levi following behind her.

"Sir?" she asked, and shortened her stride to fall in step with Captain Levi. He looked over to her and waited for her to speak "Is there anything on schedule today? All of the new recruits were supposed to get it after breakfast."

"No, and there is no need for you to learn the schedule. You will be long gone by the time anything happens." Clarissa gritted her teeth and put her face in her heads. What did he mean "you will be long gone by the time anything happens"? It could of meant anything. It could simply of meant that she was leaving the next day. Or it could of meant that he believed that she was guilty for whatever she was being accused of and would be locked away by the end of the week.

Clarissa continued down the hallway, but before she was able to decide where she was going she ran into with Mikasa. She saluted to Captain Levi before she spoke. "Eren and Armin are looking for you."

"Why?"she asked. Mikasa started walking away and she quickly fell in step with her, Captain Levi followed them like a shadow.

"They want to know what happened with Commander Erwin."

"Do you know where they are?"

"When you find them let them know I am in my room." she said. Mikasa nodded, then Clarissa turned the corner and walked down the hallway that led to her room and went to her room.

As soon as she got into her room she sat down on her bed and pulled out a small box from the trunk full of her belongings. The box was a dark wood only large enough to hold jewelry. her fingers ran across the box landing on the latch, then she flipped open the box to show a rose necklace sitting carefully on a piece of fabric. She couldn't help but smile slightly.

This is one of the only things that could connect her with her past. She remembered that when she was in the refugee camp she ripped a piece of fabric off of her clothes to use in the box.

There was a delicate rose pendant at the end of a thin silver chain. It was by no means expensive, or worth any money. It wouldn't be a surprise if it was worth nothing at all. But despite that, she constantly had a gut feeling this was worth something. If not money, then memory.

She placed her fingers on the rose. For the first time a memory flashes through her mind.

A little girl, that was no older than four, was standing in the streets holding out her hands, the rose necklace sitting in them. Behind her, in the doorway of a house, a girl was leaning up against the doorframe. It was hard to tell how old she was, because she looked like she was five, or six because of her hollowed out cheeks, and her slender frame, but her height, and demeanor said otherwise.

She got pulled out of the flashback by a knock at her door. As she opened the door she snapped close the jewelry box. Outside of her room was Mikasa, Armin, and Eren, and behind them leaning against the wall was Captain Levi.

"Hello, how may I help you guys?" she asked, turning around and placing the jewelry box into the trunk.

"You do know that Captain Levi is standing outside of your room." Eren said. She looked past him to Captain Levi, then she nodded and looked back at him.

"I am aware. Anything else?" she said.

"What did Commander Erwin want?" Armin said. She turned back around pulled out a notebook from her trunk and turned back to the three of them without taking her eyes off of the notebook.

"I am going to the new base with Commander Hange tomorrow morning." Her fingers run across the dirt covered pages of the notebook before she flipped open to the first page. The page was slightly wrinkled full of writing. The words meant nothing, now at least.

The pages were full of lyrics, and the handwriting matched hers perfectly. She wrote them, no doubt, not that she was able to remember writing them. Today she was having luck with remembering where the necklace was from. Maybe that luck would transfer to what these words mean.

"What is that?" Armin asked, walking up beside Clarissa. She looked over her shoulder at him then back down at the book.

"I am not sure. I wrote it, some time in the past. I think they are lyrics." she said, handing the book to Armin. He read over the page before he looked back up at her and handing it back.

"Are you sure you wrote these?"

"No, but it does match my writing. So it is highly likely I wrote it. I have no memory of it though." She sat down on her bed, and flipped to the next page and read through another page.

"Mikasa and I are going to do something. See you two at lunch." Eren said. Clarissa nodded absently as she flipped the page again.

"See you later." Armin said, they both nodded before they left down the hall, and Armin closed the door before he sat down beside Clarissa.

She contemplated telling him about the memory, she stood up and grabbed the jewelry box from the trunk and sat down on the bed. She opened the box and held up the necklace, letting the light from the window hit the necklace as she looked over it.

"I didn't know you had that."

"I've had it for a while." She slid her hair to the side before she put her necklace on and slid it under her maroon dress shirt."Where did you get it?" Armin asked. Clarissa moved her hair back over her neck and she shrugged.

"I don't know." she said. It would be too soon to say that the memory was actually real, since maybe it was fake. Unless she could find actual evidence that it is real she didn't want to tell anyone. Even her best friend.

She stood back up and threw the empty jewelry box and notebook back into the trunk before she leaned up against the wall and slid to the floor. Who were those girls? Was she supposed to look after them? When she left was she abandoning them? She would never do that, would she? It was impossible to know. She didn't even know who her parents were. How could she remember if she was in charge of two little girls?

"Clarissa, are you okay?" Armin asked, standing up from the bed as she pulled her knees to her chest.

"Yes, I'm fine, I'm just a little tired from the journey is all," she said, a single tear fell down her cheek and she wiped it away quickly and stood up. "I think I will just have a nap, since there isn't anything else for me to do today."

Armin nodded and walked to the door and put his hand on the handle. "Okay, I'll be with Eren and Mikasa. Have a good nap." He then left the room and closed the door with a soft click. She laid back onto her bed and stared up at the ceiling.


	3. Chapter 3

Clarissa found herself standing in front of her dresser looking in the mirror that was attached to it. Her grey eyes were reddened with tears. Her black hair a mess of knots that only took an hour to achieve. She ran a brush through her hair to take out the knots that have formed.

After Armin left her room she cried for almost four hours. After she was finished she read more lyrics from the book. Then cried some more. She missed out on lunch. Supper was nearing when she finally decided it was time to get presentable.

She never cried. Or at least she can't remember the last time she cried. She at least hadn't cried since she joined the military. How was one small necklace causing all those tears? It was just a necklace that held the only memory she had of her past.

Clarissa had taken all those hours of crying to burn the image of the two girls' faces into her mind. The younger one had long brown hair that reached the small of her back. Sparkling green eyes. The most pure green that she had ever seen.

The older girl, she reeked of sorrow and pain. From the way her hair was matted and pulled up into a bun. To the tears that welled in her eyes, and her frail frame. Her body only skin and bone. Her clothes oversized hanging over her.

Clarissa pulled herself out of her memory and noticed that tears were once again forming in her eyes. She flinched slightly at a knock at the door. She took half a step to the side to open up the door. Once the door was opened Captain Levi was standing outside the door.

"How can I help you sir?" Clarissa asked with a shaky voice. She lifted her hand to under her eyes to wipe away the tear that fell.

"It is almost supper. I haven't eaten since breakfast." He said. Clarissa nodded staring at herself in the mirror.

"I will be right out. I need a minute." Clarissa replied with her voice still shaky. Captain Levi turned around and closed the door behind him. Clarissa took a deep slow breath. She grabbed the jacket that has the Wings Of Freedom on it and she put it on.

"I am soldier. This is unacceptable." Clarissa muttered to herself. The last tear dried on her cheek then she walked out of her room and saluted to Captain Levi. They walked down the hallway to the Mess hall. Clarissa got her food and sat down in the same place she sat the earlier in the day. Her friends sitting the same place as well.

Clarissa looked down at her food trying to avoid eye contact as all of her friends sat down. Clarissa took a spoonful of peas and scooped them into her mouth.

"Where were you at lunch?" Eren asked. Clarissa said nothing and just stared at her food. If it wasn't for Captain Levi she would still be in her room. She was not ready for them to know she was crying all day. She definitely didn't want them to know why.

"Are you okay?" Armin asked. Another tear dropped from her eye. She couldn't get the image of the two girls out of her mind. It kept resurfacing itself. Clarissa wiped her hand under eyes to wipe away the tears. Now they definitely knew she was crying. There was no questioning it. Clarissa's hand went up to her chest and held onto the necklace. She pulled the necklace out of her shirt and held it in her hand.

"I can't do this." Clarissa muttered before stood up fast. She quickly started walking towards the door.

"Everdeen, where do you think you are going?" Captain Levi asked standing out of his seat. Clarissa turned around to look at him. The whole room fell quiet. Another tear began to form in her eye. Before the tear fell she turned and ran out of the Mess hall. She didn't stop running once she was out of the Mess hall. She kept running down the hallway. Behind her she could hear Captain Levi following her. She followed the hallway until she got to the front door. Clarissa charged out of the building. She paused as soon as she got outside. Captain Levi followed and grabbed onto her bicep.

"What the hell is wrong with you brat?!" He asked squeezing her bicep. Clarissa kept a straight face. Tears flowing down her cheeks. His eyebrows were knitted together. Clarissa was looking right into his eyes.

"Nothing, sir. Let go of me." Clarissa said trying to pull her arm away. Captain Levi just tightened his grip.

"No, I am not letting go of you. Now what the hell is wrong with you?!" He asked. Clarissa sighed and looked down at the ground.

"I don't know sir." Clarissa answered barely audible.

"I didn't hear you." Clarissa looked up at his eyes.

"I don't know sir." Clarissa said in almost a yell.

"You will go back into the Mess hall and wait until I am done eating." Captain Levi commanded. Clarissa nodded.

"Yes sir."

"Good," Captain Levi said letting go of Clarissa's arm. He sighed and walked back into the building. Clarissa followed. They walked back into the Mess hall. They both went to their respective tables. When Clarissa sat down she put her head in her hands. Everyone at the table was watching. If the letter didn't draw attention to her, this definitely did.

"Clare, what was that about?" Armin asked. Clarissa didn't want to answer, if crying wasn't bad enough, now the whole Survey Corps knew she was crying. She was in no way embarrassed, it just wasn't something she ever wanted people to see.

"It's called defiance," Clarissa said taking a sip of water. No one knew what to say after that, so they just continued with supper. After Clarissa helped cleaning up then she left the mess hall. Clarissa began to walk down the hallway. Captain Levi quickly fell in step with her. Clarissa walked to her room. When she stepped in she left the door open. She grabbed the old notebook from the trunk. When she walks out of her room Captain Levi is staring at her.

"Sorry about earlier sir." Clarissa said closing the door.

"You better learn from it and smarten up." Captain Levi said as Clarissa started down the hallway. Clarissa ran up the stairs to the second floor library. The library was large. It had four or five tables. Two sitting areas. And a lot of, you guessed it, books.

Clarissa sat down at one of the tables and opened up the notebook. She looked over the first song. Trying to decipher it. Hoping that the lyrics will unlock her past. On the other side of the table was an empty paper. Clarissa reached over and grabbed it. Beside it was a pencil. She also grabbed it.

Clarissa had tried many times to decipher the lyrics. The same feelings have come through: Love, and defiance. If Clarissa had to guess, she would say she was a very defiant child, much different from now. The only defiant act she had ever done was during dinner that night. She never spoke back, never disobeyed orders, always helped out her comrades.

The last song she wrote was not about love. It held a lot of anger, or freedom, depending on how you look at it. It would also show which one it is if she actually knew how it was supposed to be played. Did she know how to play instruments?

The handwriting was messy, barely legible. There are dried tear spots, showing that she was obviously overcome with emotion. Every other song showed joy, or at least neutrality. This song was pure sadness. What happened in her life, before she wrote that, that made her so upset. Was what happened why she can't remember anything?

"You seem focused." Someone said drawing Clarissa back to reality. She looked up an there was a man, tall with short tan hair, and black undercut.

"Yes, I was until you showed up." Clarissa said looking back down at the page that she was opened to. She hears the chair being pulled out notifying that he was sitting down.

"I know your last name, Everdeen, but what is your first name?" He asked. Clarissa looked up. Clarissa grimaced, if she didn't go crazy like that during dinner, maybe she would be alone right now.

"Clarissa," Clarissa said knowing that ignoring him won't do anything for either of them.

"That is a cute name." He said. Clarissa sighed, she hated people flirting with her. Mostly she hated people complimenting her, it is easy to tell if it an honest compliment, or a way to get into someone's pants.

"Captain Levi is sitting over there. Rethink what you are saying." Clarissa said motioning with her head to the couch that Captain Levi was sitting on. He looks over at Captain Levi and his face goes white.

"I am too old for you. Plus, I would murder you if you tried anything, or I would at least try." Clarissa said crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair, she didn't want to deal with anyone today.

"My name is Jean Kirschtein. It is nice to finally meet you after three years of training." The man, now named Jean, said. Clarissa nodded and looked back at the notebook, hoping that if she ignored him he would either go away or have a reasonable thing to talk about. She ran her hand along the page. A memory flashes into her mind.

_Two young girls standing beside a piano that she is playing. The girls are smiling and laughing. The older of the two is skin and bone. But her smile is wide. Her green eyes are sparkling. The youngest hanging onto the older one._

Clarissa's eyes widen as she stares blankly at the page in front of her. A single tear rolls down her cheek. She closes the book with the stray paper in it. "Are you okay?" Jean asked.

"I don't even tell my best friend that. So you don't get access to that information." Clarissa said standing. Jean placed a hand on her shoulder, she she grabbed it with her other hand and threw it off of her shoulder. He was surprised to say the least, his eye's were wide and his jaw was practically on the floor.

"Do you not understand a warning when it is given to you?!" Clarissa yelled, Jean stood up and smirked. In no way did she want to actually hurt him, but the thought did cross her mind to slap him.

"Soldier, calm yourself." Captain Levi said standing up from the couch and walking towards the two. Clarissa looked over at Captain Levi, she couldn't salute because her hands, so she gave a respectful nod instead. Jean saluted, as fast as humanly possible.

"Sorry sir, I will head to bed now." Clarissa said then she walked out of the library, Captain Levi followed her. When she was in room she sat down and opened the book and looked over it again. This page brought her another memory. Another thing about those two girls. Clarissa was definitely close to the two girls. She made them happy and smile. Clarissa meant something to them.


	4. Chapter 4

The door to the Mess hall opened. A group of five people walked into the dining hall. It was Commander Hange and her squad. Her squad members walked right to the end of of the hall to get food. Clarissa paused eating and looking over at Commander Hange.

"What are you loo-" Armin started then he saw Commander Hange. "I thought you were lying when you said Commander Hange was coming to get you."

"I hardly lie." Clarissa said still watching Commander Hange. She walked across the hall to where Captain Levi was sitting. Levi stood up and they both walk out of the Mess hall.

"What do you mean hardly?" Eren asked. With Commander Hange and Captain Levi gone Clarissa looked over at Eren.

"We all lie sometimes. I just happen to not know when I am lying." Clarissa said taking a sip of water.

"What do you mean?" Armin asked. Clarissa put down the cup.

"I say I don't have any siblings, or parents." All three of them nod. "I could very well have siblings and parents. I just wouldn't know." Clarissa said.

"It's not lying if you don't know the truth." Mikasa said. Clarissa nodded in thought.

"I guess." Clarissa said slowly. The door to the Mess hall opened again. Captain Levi and Commander Hange walked back into the Mess hall. Captain Levi goes back to his table and Commander Hange walked up to Clarissa.

"Hey Clarissa. When you are done eating get your trunk and meet me outside. There is a cart sitting out front." Commander Hange said. Clarissa nodded, before she could say anything Commander Hange almost ran away to the higher ups table.

"You really are leaving us! When can we see you next?" Eren asked. Clarissa looked back at him.

"When you come to the new base. Which is in about two weeks." Clarissa said taking another bite of her eggs. They go on talking. Clarissa gets lost in her thoughts.

What was Commander Hange's role in this? Why did Clarissa have to go with her? Of course Clarissa would never complain, but that didn't get rid of the thought. She was the scientist of the Survey Corps. Maybe she was good at questioning people, because if so, they were smart by getting Clarissa to spend time with her.

Clarissa isn't hiding anything, that she knows of, if Commander Hange manages to get information out of her Clarissa would be thankful for it. If being interrogated every second of the day helps bring up memories she would life her whole life like that. But what if there was some memories she didn't want to be brought up? There was a reason she lost her memory. Did she lose her memory because she went through a traumatic experience and it was too hard to bear the the memory? If that was the case why would she ever want to remember?

When Clarissa finished eating she went straight to her room and left the dishes for someone else to pick up. Once Clarissa got to her room she looked over to make sure she got everything. Then she checked in the trunk to make sure she had everything. Her uniform, and notebook were there. That is all that mattered. She picked it up and when she turned around Armin was standing in the doorway. She nearly dropped the trunk on her feet.

"Oh, sorry." Armin said with a smile. Clarissa nodded accepting the apology then she walked towards the door. Armin moved out of the way as she approached him.

"Are you coming to say your last goodbyes?" Clarissa joked walking down the hallway.

"I am coming to say goodbye, yes." Armin said falling in step with Clarissa.

"So what are you going to be doing when I am gone?" Clarissa asked walking outside.

"Tomorrow the extra training starts. We will be learning about the formations for the expedition in a couple of months." Armin said. Clarissa nodded and placed the trunk onto the cart. The cart only held one crate. Probably full of emergency medical supplies for the travel. The horses were probably taking a rest in the stables waiting to head off.

"I hope to learn something in the next two weeks, but I can't be sure about it. I will probably be busy answering Commander Hange's questions." Clarissa said leaning back against the cart.

"Why do you have to go anyway?" Armin asked. Clarissa sighed and looked down at her feet. She straightened up and squared her shoulders.

"They are worried about my past. The fact that I don't know it. Or the fact that there aren't any documents on me being adopted. Commander Erwin didn't tell me exactly what it was about. I am only guessing that they think I am traitor of some sort." Clarissa said and looked back up at Armin.

"That would make sense." Armin said slowly, taking time to think. "But I don't think they should connect not having adoption papers to being a traitor."

"Well I am not sure they are actually accusing me of being a traitor. It is just a guess." Clarissa said with a shrug. The door to the base opened and Commander Hange came walking out drawing the attention of both Armin and Clarissa.

"They you are!" Commander Hange said with a wide smile. "My squad is getting some supplies. We can go get the horses ready for when they get back." Commander Hange said standing beside the two. Clarissa turned to Armin.

"See you later, then." Clarissa said. Armin smiled and nodded.

"See you!" Armin turned around and walked away. Clarissa turned to Commander Hange.

"Let's go get our horses ready." Commander Hange said with a smile. Clarissa nodded and saluted to her before they both made their way to the stables. Once they got there there were six horses.

"Will you be teaching me the new formations?" Clarissa asked taking the horse she was assigned out of its stall.

"No, when Captain Levi comes to the new base he will catch up on what you missed." Commander Hange said taking her horse of its stall. Clarissa nodded, and started to saddle the horse.

"What made you join the military?" Commander Hange asked as she readied her horse. Clarissa sighed, the questioning is already starting not even after ten minutes of being around her. Before she responds she thinks about all the ways she can answer. The short honest way or the long honest way. She was trying to clear herself of whatever they were accusing her for. So she answered with the long way.

"I had no reason to live. No reason to do anything. Had no family to look after, or to look after me. So I joined the military because I had nothing." Clarissa said running her hand along the horses mane.

"_Had?_" Commander Hange asked turning to look at Clarissa.

_Crap, _Clarissa thought. _I guess there is a reason of why she was chosen to question me. _

"I don't know. There are some memories I am getting back." Clarissa said her back towards Commander Hange. She could tell Commander Hange is walking towards her. Before she gets any closer Clarissa decides to say everything. "I have a couple of memories with me and two other younger girls. I don't know how I knew them. I don't even know if they are alive." Clarissa turned and Commander was standing before her.

"Do they look like they are related to you?" Commander Hange asked crossing her arms. Clarissa closed her eyes to pretend like she was looking for the image. But the truth was, she couldn't get the look of their faces out of her mind and she was just stalling.

"No, they look related though. They both have brown hair and green eyes." Clarissa said opening her eyes. Commander Hange nodded then turned to her horse.

"We should get back to the cart. We might need to help." Commander Hange said walking past Clarissa, her horse following beside her. Clarissa nodded to herself then followed her. She was saved from more questions from the person that was actually asking the questions. This may be more annoying than she expected. Commander Hange can ask important questions so casually. How does she not investigate murders like that? She would definitely be good to the Military Police.

They walk out of the stables and two soldiers are walking out of the building holding two crates each. Clarissa hurried her step and she got to the cart.

"Let me help." Clarissa said jumping onto the cart. The first person walks up to the cart. Clarissa grabs the crates from her arms and places them down on the cart.

"Thank you." She said as Clarissa helped with the other person.

"No problem." Clarissa said. She jumped off of the cart and grabbed onto her horse. Once she got back to her horse she noticed that Commander Hange's eyes never left her.

"Is there anything that you enjoy doing in your freetime?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa looked at her stunned by the simplicity of the question.

"Nothing," Clarissa replied jumping onto her horse. Commander Hange followed and jumped onto her horse.

"So you don't do anything outside of training?" Commander Hange asked.

"I read." Clarissa answered simply.

"What do you read?" Commander Hange asked.

"Lyrics." Clarissa said. Commander Hange smiled.

"Who wrote them?"

"What is the purpose of this?" Clarissa asked. Commander Hange almost smiled more.

"I am getting to know you! I want to learn about you. So who wrote the lyrics?" She asked again. Clarissa sighed giving in.

"I did, my past self. I read all of the lyrics I wrote, hoping it would give me some of my past back to me." Clarissa said looking down at her hands holding the reins.

"Did you get any of your memories back from reading it?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa's hands tightened around the reins.

"One, and please, I would prefer not to share it with you. It is one of the only memories I have about my childhood. It would be nice to keep it to myself." Clarissa said.

"Alright, are you guys ready to go?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa looked up and the four of Commander Hange's squad were walking their horses up to the two of them.

"I just have to get the horse attached to the cart then we can go." One of them said walking up to the cart. The other three jumped onto their horses. Clarissa just looked down at her hands waiting to leave.

After about ten minutes of random chatter they finally start moving. Clarissa is just thankful that while they ride Commander Hange wouldn't be able to question her. It is about a four or five hour ride for them to get to the base.

When they got to the base Clarissa brought her trunk up to her room. Once she was in her room she took the notebook out of the trunk. Then she sat down on her bed and opened the book.

She took time to flip each page. Making sure that she didn't miss anything. Clarissa got stuck reading one page. She never really spent time reading that one. The lyrics are dark, very dark. Clarissa had always just looked past it, because someone else must have written it. But now she could see the writing similarities.

Clarissa started humming the words off of the page. The words came naturally, she didn't even have to read the words to sing it. Clarissa's eyes closed as she sang. Suddenly a memory flashed through her mind.

_The older girl laying at the bottom of the stairs. Her hair matted to the back of her head. Her eyes are closed, but tears dried onto her face. Her leg is twisted in a way that no leg should move. The bone from her arm poking out of her skin._

_In the background is a blood curdling scream of a young child. "Mommy what did you do to Alina?!" The girl yells between her cries._

Clarissa's breath quickens and she stopped singing. Tears begin to flow down her cheeks. Clarissa tries her best to stop them, but she failed. The tears landed on the white sheet beneath her. She breathed in a large breath before she screamed.

The sound of feet running outside of her room is muffled out by her cries. There is a knock on her door. But she can't hear it through her cries. The door swung open and Commander Hange walked into the room.

"What happened?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa stopped crying momentarily and stood up.

"I have to go. She is hurt, I have to help her!" Clarissa yelled running to the door. Commander Hange stopped her from leaving the room.

"Who? Who is hurt?" Commander Hange asked.

"I don't know! The… the girl in my memories, she was laying at the bottom of stairs. She was bleeding, her arm, and leg, they looked broken." Clarissa said shaking her head. Commander Hange held onto her arms and moved her back to her bed. They both sat down.

"Do you know what happened?" Commander Hange asked.

"With what?" Clarissa asked wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

"The girl." Clarissa nodded.

"I don't know. There was another girl there. She was… I think their mother did it." Commander Hange's eyes widened for a moment.

"What exactly did she say?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa brought her legs up to her chest.

"She said, 'Mommy, what did you do to Alina?'" Clarissa said putting her head on her knees.

"Do you think the other girl's name is Alina?" Commander Hange asked.

"Who else would she be talking about. You don't understand!" Clarissa stood up quickly. "She was laying at the bottom of the stairs. I could the bone coming out of her arm! Her leg was twisted backwards! This is not the time to talk about what her name might be! She could be dead!" Clarissa yelled. Commander Hange stood up from the bed slowly.

"You lived in Shiganshina, right?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa nodded. "I could contact Eren. His father was a doctor that lived in that area. Maybe he treated her."

"No, Mrs. Lilith would never get a doctor." Clarissa said. Her eyes widened. Commander Hange kept a straight face.

"Who is Mrs. Lilith?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa stood completely still.

"I don't know, it just came out." Clarissa said. Commander Hange nodded.

"Okay, we should start preparing for supper. Come help me." Commander Hange said walking out of her room. Clarissa nodded and looked down at the notebook that held the lyrics. She took a deep breath before she walked out of her room.


	5. Chapter 5

"Everdeen, could you bring the sheets up to the second floor?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa nodded and stepped away from the table of vegetables she was chopping. Clarissa saluted to Commander Hange then she went to the sink to wash her hands.

"Do you know what your birth last name is?" Commander Hange asked as she began to chop the vegetables Clarissa was just chopping.

"Yeah, Ackerman." Clarissa said. Her eyes widened and she dried off her hands.

"Ackerman?" Commander Hange asked turning around. Clarissa turned around and nodded.

"Yes, Ackerman. Yesterday I was reading through some of the lyrics and the name just popped into my head. I don't if it actually my last name. But that is closest you are going to get." Clarissa said with a shrug.

"Do you think I can look at the lyrics?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa paused thinking.

"I prefer not, but if it is an order I cannot say no." Clarissa said.

"No, it's okay. Could you just bring the sheets upstairs? The rest of the Survey Corps will be here soon." Clarissa saluted and walked to the door.

"Do you think you can keep the whole 'Ackerman' thing for the higher-ups only?" Clarissa asked looking back at Commander Hange.

"Of course. I won't be able to tell them until the morning meeting tomorrow. We can talk about it the morning." She said. Clarissa nodded.

"I will bring the sheets upstairs now." Clarissa said. She turned and walked out of the room. Then she walked down the hallway to a back room. There was a pile of sheets sitting on a table. Clarissa picked it up and walked up the stars.

Last night when Clarissa was reading over the lyrics a name popped into her head: Clarissa Ackerman. It could be anyone's name. But it could also mean that her actual last name was Ackerman. If so, where did Everdeen come from? So far she was still adopted. Maybe the family that adopted her had the last name Everdeen? There is no way to be sure.

Clarissa got up to the top floor, west wing, and she walked down the west wing hallway. Just as Clarissa got there a girl came walking out of a room. Once the girl saw Clarissa she paused and her eyes widened.

"Oh, thank you. I just used the last of the sheets." She said. She had long brown hair. It is curled slightly at the end. Her eyes are bright and blue. Clarissa nodded and handed the pile of sheets to her.

"No problem. Do you need any help? I don't have anything else I have to do right now." Clarissa said. The girl looked around thinking about what to say.

"Uhm, you can help with cleaning the windows. I am supposed to do it, but the person that was supposed to do the sheets got sick." She said with a smile.

"I will help with that then." Clarissa said. The girl nodded a thank you then walked away to another room. Clarissa walked over to a table full of cleaning supplies. She picked up the supplies for cleaning the windows and she walked into a room and started to clean.

She cleaned for the rest of the day until supper. The rest of the military was supposed to be at the new base by supper. But it is already supper and they haven't arrived. Commander Hange comes walking into the Mess hall.

"Everdeen, could you go outside and watch out for when the rest of the Survey Corps. Come and tell me when you can see them." Commander Hange asked. Clarissa nodded and stood up. She saluted then walked out of the base.

Once she was outside she sat down in a small flower field outside of the base. She ran her hands through the flowers. She picked up a red rose and looked over it. Clarissa smiled as a memory flashed through her mind.

_A young girl run through a field full of red roses. She kneels down and picks one of the roses and holds it in her young hands. Another girl, which now has a name, Alina kneels down beside the little girl._

"_Let me put it in your hair." Alina says taking the flower from the young girl and putting it in her hair behind her ear._

"_Pretty!" The youngest smiled._

Clarissa looked up and she could see a group of horses and carts riding towards her. She stood up and walked into the base. Commander Hange was walking past but she paused when she say Clarissa.

"I can see them on the horizon. They should be here in twenty to thirty minutes." Clarissa said. Commander Hange smiled and nodded.

"Thank you. You can go to the Mess hall and wait there." Commander Hange said. Clarissa nodded and saluted. Commander Hange walked away. Clarissa sighed and walked into the Mess hall and sat down.

When she sat she noticed that she was still holding the rose. She looked down at it and twirled it in her fingers. She pulls off the petals one by one looking intently at each one. Hoping that each petal would somehow turn into a memory.

The flower already gave her a memory, so it was futile attempt to try and get another memory from it. It was just memories. She lived through it. So why can't she remember it? Why can't she remember anything?

But what would she do if she found out that she actually had a boyfriend. Or watched someone die. What if she killed someone? Why would she want to know that she killed someone? If she did, that would be best hidden. Right?

The doors to the Mess hall swung open and a group of people came walking in. Clarissa didn't take time to look over because she was too busy looking over all the petals.

"Clarissa! You aren't dead!" A voice called. Clarissa looked up and Eren was standing across from the table. Mikasa was standing right beside him.

"I wasn't planning on dying. Were you hoping for me to die?" Clarissa joked. Eren smiled lightly.

"Armin told me you were going to be questioned. You don't like to talk about yourself that much. So I thought all the questions would kill you." Eren said sitting down at the table. Clarissa raised her eyebrows.

"I definitely did not enjoy it. But it didn't kill me." Clarissa said. She picked up the rose petals then threw them onto Eren.

"What was that for?" Eren asked taking a pedal off of his head. Clarissa smiled slightly and shrugged.

"That is for thinking I can't deal with being asked questions." Clarissa said with a smile. Armin came walking over to the table and sat down beside Clarissa.

"Why does Eren have rose petals all over him?" Armin asked. Eren smiled a little and looked to Clarissa for her to answer. She shook her head.

"Clarissa did it because she is pissed that Eren thought she couldn't handle questioning." Mikasa said. Armin nodded.

"So did she get anything?" Armin asked. Clarissa froze. She contemplated telling them, but she chose against it.

"No," Clarissa said. Clarissa stood up. "I will be sitting out on supper for tonight." Clarissa said then she walked out of the Mess hall while a group of people were entering. As Clarissa walked she could feel someone following her. She looked behind herself to see Armin following her.

"If you follow me, could you tell me so I don't feel like someone is stalking me." Clarissa said pausing for Armin to catch up with her.

"Sorry, I just don't want you to be alone." Armin said as they began to walk again.

"I am fine, but thank you." Clarissa said as they rounded a corner.

"Come on Allessandra, we are going to be late for supper." A person said as they passed the two. Clarissa stopped walking and her eyes widened.

"Clarissa, are you okay?" Armin asked. Clarissa stood still. Tears began to well in her eyes. She took a large breath in and she placed her hand on her chest.

"Clarissa?!" Armin asked more urgently. Clarissa tried to keep standing. Her knees are weak beneath her. She kept gasping for air, but not getting any breath in.

"Clarissa, I am going to get help. It's going to be okay!" Armin said and he ran away the other way. The room began to spin around her. She fell against the wall. She leans up against the wall to try to keep her standing.

Clarissa takes in one more breath before her knees buckle and she falls to the ground. Before she falls into the black abyss of unconsciousness she hears the sound of pounding footsteps coming around the corner. She can see only boots as they round the corner. Before she can look more at who they are her eyes close and she faded into the warm, welcoming, unconsciousness.

The curtains ruffled as the breeze came in from the window. The breeze brushes over Clarissa and her eyes flutter open. Her eyes move around the room examining it. It is a medical room. There is a dresser sitting on one side of the room. The bed lays across from it.

"Clarissa, you are awake?" A voice asked. Clarissa looked over to where the voice came from. In the corner there was a large plush chair. Armin was sitting on the edge of his seat looking at her.

Clarissa's breath was still slow. Her eyes were only slightly open. Armin stood up and walked up to the side of her bed. "Can you speak?" He asked. Clarissa moved her head to stare at the ceiling.

"I will be back." Armin said before the door opened and closed. A thousand thoughts rush through her head. There are too many things to process to be able to speak. Clarissa thought about the memory of being in a flower field.

She can now match names with faces. Ages with names. Where they were. The youngests', name is Allessandra, she was only three in that memory. Then there is Alina, she was only seven in that memory as well.

Where are those two now? Allessandra would be ten. Alina would be fourteen. If they are alive at all. Did they get out of Shiganshina when the titans broke through? She could of stayed with them. Now there is no way in knowing if they survived.

The door to the room opened. Followed by a couple of footsteps. Clarissa sat up at the sound of the footsteps. Commander Hange and Armin were standing in the doorway. "Good, you are awake." Commander Hange said.

"Yep, I guess I am." Clarissa said with a small smile.

"Do you know what happened?" Commander Hange asked closing the door to the room.

"Kind of." Clarissa said with a shrug. To be honest she knew exactly what happened. Someone said Allessandra's name. She got all her memories back. Then she passed out from the shock. But she wanted to hear what happened on their side.

"You and Arlert were walking down the hallway. Then you started gasping then you passed out." Commander Hange said. She pulled a chair up and sat down on it. "From a medical perspective, I just think you were dehydrated. I don't understand the gasping for air before, but it doesn't seem to of caused harm. So there is no need to look into it." Commander Hange said. Clarissa nodded.

So this was just dehydration. That is what everyone would now. People knowing that she got all her memories would change the way people looked at her. It definitely changed the way she looked at herself. All she had to do is act like her old self, and not say anything about her past. It is easy.

"I would advise for you to stay in bed for another hour." Commander Hange said. Armin stood by the door with his arms crossed.

"How long have I been out?" Clarissa asked.

"Two hours." Armin answers. Clarissa nodded. Commander Hange stood up and pushed the chair back to the end of the bed where it was. Once Commander Hange was gone Clarissa stood up.

"You should lay back down." Armin said walking up to her. Clarissa smiled and shook her head. Armin took a slight step back. Clarissa is going to have to learn that the old her doesn't smile. So she can't smile.

She walked up to the window. She leaned up against the window sill and looked out at all the fields and fields of flowers. _Allessandra would love it here_ Clarissa thought. It was so natural to think about them. How did she live so long without knowing about them.

"I am going to get you water. I will be back." Armin said. Clarissa turned around and refrained from smiling.

"Thank you." Clarissa said. Armin smiled and nodded then he walked out of the room. Clarissa turned back to the window. "I should have gone back." Clarissa muttered to herself as a tear formed in her eyes.

How could she leave to frail girls alone with an abusive mother? It is idiotic to even think about it let alone act on it! For Sina sake, those two girls better be alive. They better be running in fields just like this one Clarissa is looking at. They have to be alive. Alina, Allessandra, those two girls have to still be alive.

A tear rolled down her cheek just as the door to the room opened. Clarissa turned around. Armin was walking in holding a cup and her notebook. Clarissa wiped away the tear before Armin could notice.

"I also got your notebook. I thought you would want to look at it." Armin said placing the water down on the table beside the bed. Clarissa nodded and Armin handed her the notebook.

Clarissa opened it immediately. Every page she flipped through had a different memory. Most of them involved her staying up late at a grungy old bar playing the piano for money. Every night she would make a good amount of money. Enough money to supply three full meals. So she worked every night. Just so her sisters could have food.

Clarissa sat down on the bed as she read over the lyrics. As she read through one of them her finger tapped the back of the book as she read through it. Clarissa took in a deep breath then she placed the book down beside her. "If I tell you something, can you keep it a secret?"

Armin looked away from the window at Clarissa. He squinted his eyes. "Uhm, yeah, sure." Armin said then he sat down on the bed beside Clarissa.

"Before I passed out I got all my memories back." Clarissa said. Armin nodded. "I have two sisters, their names are Alina and Allessandra. I was away from home when the titans broke through the wall. So I don't know if they are alive." Armin nodded slowly thinking.

"So you remember everything?" He asked. Clarissa nodded.

"Every last bit of my life. Most of it I would like to forget, but now..." Clarissa said. They sit in silence for a couple of seconds then Clarissa picked up the notebook. She flipped to a page. Then she pointed to a scribble on the bottom of the page.

"This, Allessandra did this because she wanted to help me with writing. I let her, then I just re-wrote what I had on the next page." Clarissa said with a smile. She flipped a couple of pages and when she landed on the page she spoke. "This one I wrote after I…" _killed…_ No, she can't even think about it.

Her smile faded and she closed the book. "I...I still… I can't talk about it yet." Clarissa stood up and placed the book on the chair across the room.

"Okay," Armin said standing up. Clarissa walked back over to the window. She took off her necklace and looked down at it in her hand. Then she started humming a song. It started almost inaudible.

_Are you, are you, coming to the tree._

_They strung up a man they say who murdered three._

_Strange things did happen here._

_No stranger would it be._

_If we met at midnight in the hanging tree._

_Are you, are you, coming to the tree._

_Where dead man called out for his love to flee._

_Strange things did happen here._

_No stranger would it be._

_If we met at midnight in the hanging tree._

Her voice rose a little and she crawled onto the window sill. She brought her knees to her chest as she sung.

_Are you, are you, coming to the tree._

_Where I told you to run._

_So we'd both be free._

_Strange things did happen here._

_No stranger would it be._

_If we met at midnight in the hanging tree._

_Are you, are you, coming to the tree._

_Wear a necklace of hope, side by side with me._

Clarissa stopped singing when the door to the room opened. Clarissa looked over to the door. The first thing she noticed is that Armin was watching her. Behind him Mikasa and Eren are walking into the room.

"What are you two doing?" Eren asked.

"I am looking outside. Armin is doing, I don't know what he is doing. You will have to ask him." Clarissa said. Armin turned around to look at the two.

"I am… I was talking to Clarissa. Then she got distracted by looking outside." Armin said. Eren nodded with a smirk tugging on his lips.

"Yeah right, I saw the way you were-" Eren started with a smirk. Mikasa hit Eren's arm stopping him from speaking. Clarissa refrains from smile until she looked out of the window. Once her head was turned she couldn't help from smiling. This was going to be harder than she thought.


	6. Chapter 6

Clarissa walked up to her horse and walked in front of it. "We have a long couple of days ahead of us." Clarissa said to the horse as she petted it's head.

"Are you talking to a horse?" A voice called. Clarissa looked over at the direction the voice was coming from and Jean was walking towards her with his horse.

"Now I am." Clarissa said with a smirk. Jean's mouth fell open

"Wow, whenever I talk to you my pride lowers." Jean said. Clarissa stopped herself from laughing and she jumped onto the horse.

"It is a talent of mine." Clarissa said. She couldn't help but smile a little. Jean shook his head and jumped on his horse. "Now, what is the reason you are talking to me?"

"You think I need a reason to talk to you?" He joked. Clarissa's deadpan expression silenced his slight chuckle. "Okay, I was transferred to be in you group." Clarissa squinted her eyes.

"I don't think that can happen without me knowing." Clarissa said. Jean shrugged.

"Well, it did." He said. Clarissa sighed and turned to look at where one of her higher-ups were getting their horse out of its stall.

"Is true that Jean was switched to my group?" Clarissa asked. The higher-up turned to look at the two. He nodded.

"Yes, it was decided that it was best for you, Arlert and Kirschtein to be in a group." He said. Clarissa sighed and ran her hands through her long black hair.

"See," Jean said. Clarissa looked over at him.

"It just means that all of our three strengths match up to make a good group. My battle ability, your ODM ability, and Armin's academic ability." Clarissa said. Jean closed his eyes and sighed.

"You just aren't any fun." Jean said opening his eyes.

"Well, I didn't get a good first impression on you. The first thing you did was flirt with me. That gives me enough of a reason to strongly despise you." Clarissa said trying her best to keep a straight face.

"Give me a chance!" He said. Clarissa smiled and she broke out laughing. "What did I do?" He asked.

"It is way too hard being me." Clarissa said in between laughter. She put her hand in front of her mouth to hide her smile.

"You… what is going on?" Jean said. Clarissa stopped laughing, but was still smiling, and she squared her shoulders.

"Don't speak about this or I will… I will throw you in front of a speeding titan." Clarissa said moving her finger around in the air.

"Why?" He asked with a smirk. Clarissa's smile faded as she stared at him.

"You will not speak of this or else I will end your life by my hands. It won't be a problem, I have experience." Clarissa said with a straight face. Jean chuckled a bit before he realized she was serious.

"Oh, you are serious. Okay, I won't tell anyone." He said with his now straight face. Clarissa nodded. Then she turned her horse towards the rest of group and rode close to them. She saw Armin on his horse so she rode up beside.

Threatening death to someone was not one of Clarissa's most prideful moments. No matter what happened Clarissa would never actually kill him. Maybe she would punch him a couple of times. But now that she is eighteen, she could actually be charged with murder. Before when she killed someone she was young so the court looked past it. They would definitely not look past an eighteen year old killer.

"Did you hear that Jean is joining our group?" Armin asked as she approached.

"Yes, he told me himself." Clarissa said.

"Are you ready?" Armin asked. Clarissa shrugged.

"I am not, not ready." Clarissa said. Armin smiled.

"Yeah," Armin said. Clarissa nodded.

"You better not die. Or even get close. I don't feel like saving someone's life today. But I will if it is necessary." Clarissa said. Armin smiled and nodded.

"I don't plan on dying." Armin said. A smile was tugging at her lips but she looked away before she could smile. Everyone else was starting to ride out of the base.

"Everyone is starting to go. We should go to." Clarissa said then she started riding forward. The sound of hooves followed her. Her hand goes up to the necklace around her neck. Was she really going out into titan territory? Clarissa should be resigning from the military and finding her sisters. If they are even alive.

But now she has friends here, in the military. She wouldn't be able to just leave them behind. They are the only people she has befriended her whole life other than her sisters. The fact they don't know her past probably helps with that. Normal people probably aren't okay with having a friend that can murder a grown man at twelve. But there were those rumors that Eren and Mikasa killed some kidnappers. But those were strangers. Clarissa killed her own father. She didn't even feel any remorse for the man. She felt remorse for her little sisters watching her do it.

There was a reason on why she forgot all of her past. Most of the stuff she forgot would be best never spoken. It was the past, and it should stay that way. Armin….Armin, he knew that she has her memory back. Has he told anyone? It has been over a month since she told him. He hasn't mentioned it once. Does he really think it is such a small thing? Or is he just kind enough to not tell anyone. Maybe he did Mikasa and Eren and they just weren't saying anything.

_Stop doubting your instinct! You're his friend. He isn't scum like your father and mother are. He would never go parading around telling everyone your secrets! _Clarissa told herself. She looked back at him. Armin and Eren were riding side by side talking. Probably talking about how cool it will be to go on the expedition. Knowing Eren he was probably talking about how he is going to kill every titan he sees.

Clarissa smiled a little looking at them. Neither of them had their family. Except for Eren, he had Mikasa, but that is a different story. They don't have their family but they are still able to be happy, and smile. Why can't Clarissa? Maybe it was because she had a bad past and their life only fell apart when titans decided to eat everyone. So in the long run Clarissa had the more messed up life.

"So, who did you kill?" Jean asked startling Clarissa. She almost fell off of her horse.

"_You fucking shit head._" Clarissa muttered. Then she looked over at him. He has a sly smile. He was sure full of himself. "Are you happy you scared me?!" He laughed before he answered.

"Quite, now who did you kill?" Jean asked. Clarissa sighed and looked forward.

"My past is my past. No one but me knows it. I don't think I would be able to trust a flirtatious horse-face with my dark past." Clarissa said.

"I will pretend like that didn't hurt." Jean said with a small laugh. Clarissa sighed.

"Good," Clarissa said. "If you stop asking me about my past maybe I would hate you less."

"That sounds nice, to not be hated by a beautiful woman." Jean said with a smirk. Clarissa sighed and looked over at him.

"Oh, and everytime you call me beautiful I will be one step closer to murdering you. We just so happen to be going out into titan territory where many people die. No one would notice if you died from say, being thrown in front of a titan to save your love." Clarissa said with a smirk. Jean shook his head and smiled.

"At least if I die I will forever be known to of been your love." He said. Clarissa laughed slightly for a second. Then she hardened her expression.

"Keep dreaming." Clarissa said with a smirk.

"I will, about you." Clarissa sighed and closed her eyes. Then she turned around to look at Armin.

"Armin!" She called. He stopped talking and looked at Clarissa. "Jean keeps flirting with me! It is getting very exhausting to deal with!" Armin smiled and moved up beside Clarissa. Clarissa smiled and looked down to the necklace she was holding in her hands.

Even if Allessandra was gone Clarissa always had the necklace she gave her the day the titans broke through the wall. Now Clarissa can remember the day more clearly. Almost as if it was yesterday.

"_Clarey! I found this necklace on the street yesterday. I want you to take it!" Allessandra called running out of the house. Clarissa squated so she could be at the same level as her. Allessandra held out her hand and in it was a rose necklace. _Her _necklace._

"_Really? Thank you Alless." Clarissa said grabbing the necklace out of her hand. "I am going to put it in my bag so I don't lose it." Clarissa said taking her bag off of her shoulder. She pulled out a dark wooden box and placed the necklace in it._

"_Be back soon!" Allessandra exclaimed. Clarissa nodded and stood up. In the doorway Alina was leaning against the doorframe. The poor girl hadn't eaten in two days. She always gave up her food for Allessandra. Clarissa tried to give her her food but she wouldn't take it._

"_Alina, please don't forget I left my food in the fridge for you. I will be at the bar tonight. I will probably get paid in a meal. I will be okay." Clarissa said with a smile. Alina offered Clarissa small smile and a nod._

"_See you later Clare." Alina said. Clarissa smiled and waved to them as she turned around._

"Clarissa? Earth to Clarissa." Armin said. Clarissa's eyes widened and she looked over at him.

"Sorry, I was…. remembering something." Clarissa said. Armin smiled and nodded in understanding.

"Are you okay?" Armin asked. Clarissa nodded.

"Well, today isn't the best day to remember things. I have to be focused." Clarissa said only loud enough for Armin to hear.

"It will be okay." Armin reassured her with a smile. Clarissa nodded and let go of her necklace. She literally, and figuratively, let go of her past. Hopefully she could put her past away for the expedition. Because if she didn't she would be distracted and wouldn't be able to do her job. Because her job was to be a soldier, and if she got stuck in her past she wouldn't be able to do that.

Today was the worst day in the possible history of Clarissa's history to go on the expedition. Today was Alessandra's eleventh birthday. Or would be, if she was alive. Clarissa wasn't sure if she was alive or not, so it was hard not to celebrate.

"Happy birthday Alless." Clarissa muttered.

"Who is Alless?" Jean asked. Clarissa looked over at him.

"Of course you would want to know shit-head." Clarissa said then she looked forward.

"Seriously? I liked when you only got mad at me for flirting." Jean joked.

"I am still mad at you for flirting, but it is pouring into my overall view of you as a human. The only thing saving you is you are voluntarily going to face human eating titans for the good of humanity." Clarissa said. Jean smiled and laughed a little. Armin smiled and shook his head. Clarissa couldn't help but smile.


	7. Chapter 7

"_May I be excused?" Clarissa asked placing her fork down on the plate in front of her. The woman at the other end of the table looked up at Clarissa._

"_Yes, be home by nightfall." The woman said knowing exactly where Clarissa was going. Clarissa smiled and stood up. She walked to the other side of the table where Alina was sitting. Clarissa bent down and kissed her cheek._

"_See you later Alina." Clarissa said._

"_Hurry and get your face away from me." Her mother growled. Clarissa nodded and bowed her head to her._

"_Of course Mrs. Lilith, I will return by nightfall." Clarissa deadpanned. Her mother, Mrs. Lilith, nodded and looked down to her plate. "Make sure to bug your sister, Alless." Clarissa said to the little girl sitting across from Alina. Allessandra smiled and raised a thumb. _

"_Go!" Mrs. Lilith called._

"_Yes, sorry." Clarissa said rushed then she ran to the front door and picked up her bag that was sitting beside it. She turned around and waved to her sisters before she left the house. Outside the midday sun was shining down on the streets._

_The sun was a grim reminder that she was late for the lunch rush. That was one meal's worth of money she missed out on. Her cheerful smile faded into an deadpan expression, close to a scowl. She began to run. She _wasn't _going to be late for the after lunch rush. Yes, that was a thing._

_Clarissa hurried around the corner to a busy market street. She was dodging people as she ran. Her hair was getting all over her face. She stopped in front of a small cafe. The door was wide open welcoming anyone who walked by. Clarissa walked in and like always the piano in the corner was empty for her to play. There was maybe ten people in the cafe. Half of them were regulars that came just to hear her play._

"_Clarissa Everdeen, you are late." Dillian, the man that owned the place, said as he wiped down the counter._

"_Sorry! My mother made me clean up after lunch. I will repay you." Clarissa said walking up to counter. Dillian smiled and shook his head._

"_I already don't pay you." He said throwing the old rag into the sink behind him. Clarissa smiled and nodded._

"_I better get playing. People are waiting!" Clarissa said with a smile. Dillian smiled and motioned over to the piano. Clarissa nodded and walked over to the piano. Dillian never payed her because she got a lot of money worth of tips. In turn for bringing customers in Dillian would give her groceries for one meal. _

_Clarissa took an empty cup out of the bag and placed it on the stool beside the piano. She opened up the piano and almost the whole room went quiet. She cleared her throat, and pressed one key. She took a deep breath before she started to play._

You tell me that I'm crazy

Doing this alone

You don't need to save me

Oh, how I've grown

I am capable of everything you can see

But now I want to change

_The whole cafe went silence as she sang. Most of them had heard her sing this song many many times before. But it still brought them in everyday. _

Just blow out the candles

Oh little boy, when will you learn?

You don't play with fire unless you wanna get burned

Wanna get burned

Just blow out the candles

Oh, how the tables they've turned

You don't play with fire

Unless you wanna get burned

You wanna get burned

Something's just sound crazy

Things you'll never know

There's always that one maybe

That keeps stringing you along

'Cause I am capable of everything you can see

But now I want to change

Just blow out the candles

Oh, little boy, when will you learn?

You don't play with fire

Unless you wanna get burned

Wanna get burned

Blow out the candles

Oh, how the tables they've turned

You don't play with fire

Unless you wanna get burned

Wanna get burned

_People from the street began to walk into the cafe to watch. Clarissa's back was facing the crowd so she could see, but she new the routine. She played, brought in customers, got payed in a meal. That is all she cared about._

What is that, that I see

Floating right in front of me

Lock the door, try to leave

But now it's clear to me

You didn't blow out the candles

Oh, little boy, you'll never learn

You don't play with fire

But you're already burned

You're already burned

Blow out the candles

Oh, little boy, you'll never learn

You don't play with fire

But you're already burned

You're already burned

_When she finished playing her first song she went on with the other songs in her routine. She always played the same ten songs every day. She played them once. Had an hour break then went at it again. When she finished her round of songs she stood._

_There was no applause, no obvious praise, but the same person that was there everyday walked up to her. "As good as always." She said. She was sweet old lady. She had brought her grandchildren a couple of times in hopes that they would make friends with Clarissa. It didn't work out in the end. _

"_Here, you look starving. Buy yourself something." The woman said holding out a satchel. It clinked with the sound of coins._

"_Are you sure you don't need it?" Clarissa asked. The woman smiled._

"_I am on my last year of life, dear. I don't need lots of money anyway." The woman said holding the satchel out further. Clarissa grabbed onto it and held it in her hands. She looked down at it and smiled._

"_Thank you so much. I will find someway to repay you." Clarissa said with a wide smile._

"_No need dear, your music is enough." She said then she sat. Clarissa smiled and picked up her bag and put the money in it. _

"_I am going for a walk, I will be back within the hour." Clarissa said to Dillian. He nodded. Too busy with customers to answer with words. Clarissa walked out of the cafe and walked around the market looking over everything._


	8. Chapter 8

The breeze of the night flowed across Clarissa's face. The sun was just starting to set. They are taking a break in five minutes. They will rest for an hour until the sun is set then they will ride for the whole night. Clarissa sighed and went to grab her necklace. But she refrained from it and put her hand back onto the reins.

Suddenly to the left of them there is a bright flash red flares. That means there is a titan spotting. Clarissa is in charge of the flares so she pulled it out and fired another red flare. Not even a moment later there was a purple flare, indicated an emergency. Clarissa looked back at her two team members. The both nodded probably thinking the same thing she was thinking.

Without another thought she change the direction of the horse towards the abundance of red flares, and the single purple flare. As they got closer they all could see the large amount of titans. A sinking feeling found home in Clarissa's stomach as she regretted her decision. She wondered if heading back would be the best idea. She was the, not official, team leader. She knew that Jean and Armin would follow her word.

Clarissa looked back and could tell the panicked expression on both of them. Clarissa grabbed onto her flares and fired another purple. There was a large chance they were not going to make it out. There were nearly fifteen titans. Too much for Clarissa to count. The whole of the left spotting members were taken out.

Except for one person. She was sitting on the ground waving her blade around aimlessly trying to stop a titan from getting close to her. There was another titan behind her that she didn't notice. Her hair was a light blonde matted down to her head. There was blood staining her uniform.

"You guys take care of as much titans as you can! I will help the girl!" Clarissa yelled. Both of the men behind her nodded and turned off towards the titans. Clarissa could tell they were hesitant. But they trusted her. Clarissa changed the direction of the horse to the girl and the three titans around her.

Once she was close enough she stood on the horses back and used her ODM gear to stick into the back of the titan behind the girl. The titan barely noticed as Clarissa cut out the nape of its neck. Clarissa wizzed to the next one in front of the girl. This one was going to be harder. Clarissa didn't have a clear line of sight to its nape.

Clarissa sticked her ODM gear into its head. She flew towards it and avoided the large titan hand swishing around in the air trying to swat her like a fly. She flies past its head then the ODM gear stuck into the back of the titans neck. The jolt of the ODM gear almost made Clarissa lose focus. Now that she was behind the titan she cut out the nape of the neck easily.

Before she could move on to the third one it was already falling. Clarissa landed on the ground beside the girl. Her brown eyes were open wide. Her body was laying limp. Clarissa looked up past her. Jean was walking towards her with blood steaming off of him. Not a second later Armin landed beside him.

"Is she okay?" Armin asked. Clarissa looked back down at the girl. The blood covering her was not steaming indicating that it was her blood. Clarissa knelt down beside her.

"What is your name?" Clarissa asked calmly grabbing onto the girls wrist. The girls mouth opens but before she can speak she coughs up some blood. Clarissa put her hand on the girls shoulder and rubbed up and down.

"Sierra, Sierra Amori." The girl said. Clarissa nodded. Her pulse was weak. Hardly there at all. She was definitely going to bleed out before Clarissa could get her to a medic. Clarissa had extra medical training so she would be able to patch her up if she had the items. But by the look of it the girl was ready for death.

Her eyes were closing. Her face showed anything but fear. In fact she was smiling. Clarissa grabbed onto her hand and squeezed it. "It's okay." Clarissa said with a small smile. Clarissa wanted the girl to see her smiling before she died.

"Please…. tell… my mom…. I love her." The girl managed to say. Clarissa could tell she was in extreme pain.

"I will, don't worry. You can relax, it will be okay." Clarissa said. She looked up for a moment to see where the titans were. Armin and Jean managed to kill a good five to six titans. The other titans were distracted by eating the dead bodies spread across the field. Clarissa looked down to the girl trying to ignore the disaster around her.

The light was leaving her eyes. They were turning from sparkling rounded brown to a dull brown. Clarissa took a deep breath then started singing softly to her.

_I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'd never let you go,_

_When all those shadows almost killed your light,_

_I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone,_

_But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight..._

_Just close your eyes,_

_The sun is going down,_

_You'll be alright,_

_No one can hurt you now,_

_Come morning light,_

_You and I'll be safe and sound…_

A tear began to run down Clarissa's face. She could still feel Sierra's pulse. Her fingers never left her wrist. Sierra's eyes were now closed, but she was not gone. She was still awake because she was holding Clarissa's hand.

_Don't you dare look out your window darling everything's on fire,_

_The war outside our door keeps raging on,_

_Hold on to this lullaby,_

_Even when the music's gone,_

_Gone…._

Clarissa stopped singing. She was gone. Her arm had gone completely limp and Clarissa could no longer feel her pulse. Another tear from Clarissa's eyes. The tear rolled down her cheek and landed on the girl.

"We have to get going. If we stay any longer we may get eaten." Clarissa said, her voice was slightly shaky. Clarissa bent down to pick up Sierra but Jean stepped forward.

"I can carry her. You did the hard part." Jean said slipping his arms under Sierra's legs and neck. Then he lifted her up. Clarissa looked down at her hands. They were covered in blood, as well as her legs. Armin put a hand on her back. Clarissa looked up at him. He smiled at her.

"Let's get going. We can talk about the cafe thing later." Armin said. Clarissa nodded and smiled lightly. Clarissa turned around and all of the horses had gathered back to their riders. Clarissa climbed onto her horse covering it in her blood. Armin and Jean got on their horses as well. Jean held the limp girl with one hand as he held the reins with free hand.

They road for five minutes to make up the time they spent helping the girl die. As they arrived at the small camp a group of two soldiers ran up to them. One of them were carrying a first aid kit. The other was empty handed. Clarissa jumped off of her horse and instantly went to Jean's horse to get the girl. Jean handed Sierra to Clarissa.

"Here, let me help her!" The person holding the first aid kit said. Clarissa shook her head and kept walking further into the camp.

"She is dead, you can't help. Sh… Sierra bled to death. There was no way to save her in time." Clarissa said. She walked up to a cart. The one person that had empty hand laid down a white sheet. Clarissa laid Sierra's limp body down on the sheet.

"Are you injured…"

"Clarissa, and no. This is her blood." Clarissa said looking down at all the blood covering her. The pants that were once white were now completely red. The stench of blood finally made its way up to her nose and she turned away from the cart and puked. A hand was placed on Clarissa's back. She was too busy puking to look at who it was, but she knew it was armin. When Clarissa straightened out Armin was holding out a clean white cloth and a canteen that was probably full of water.

"Thank you." She said Clarissa said grabbing the cloth. She used it to wipe off her face. Then she grabbed the water and poured it on her hands to wash away the dried blood. Then she drank some of it.

"Are you okay?" Armin asked guiding Clarissa to a crate to sit down on. They both sat down.

"I am better than that dead girl." Clarissa said staring down at her blood covered pants.

"No, she died happy. You saw the look on her face. She was relaxed. You made her feel okay to die." Armin said calmly, soothing her. Clarissa nodded slowly.

"And now I have to tell her mother her last words." Clarissa said quietly.

"No you don't." Armin said. Clarissa sighed.

"Yes I do. I can't just… it was her last words Armin!" Clarissa raised her voice. Armin's eyes widened slightly.

"Sorry… I just…" Armin stuttered.

"I know, you have never seen me like this. It's okay, this is just a really bad day for all of this to happen." Clarissa muttered.

"What do you mean? What happen?" Armin asked. Clarissa kept looking down at the ground but found out that looking at blood made it worse. Clarissa looked up at all the people walking around. Everyone was doing something different. Some people were handing out food and others handing out water.

Before Clarissa could speak there was a loud scream. Clarissa stood up and looked for the origin of the horrid sound. Clarissa saw it, a tall man was leaning over Sierra's body. He was crying and his body was shaking. Clarissa walked over to him and once she was there the man looked over at her confused.

"How do you know her?" Clarissa asked. The man took a deep breath and wiped his tears away.

"She is-was my friend." The man said. Clarissa smiled a little.

"I was there when she died." Clarissa said. The man's eyes widened and he turned to look at her. "She died happy. She wasn't scared, or alone. I was with her, I held her hand before she died." Clarissa said. The man smiles slightly and pulls Clarissa into a hug.

"Thank you." He whispers in her ear. Clarissa smiles a little then he releases her. Clarissa smiled and nodded. A tear brimmed in her eyes. She walked away before he could see her cry. She looked out at the empty field. There were no titans in sight. Only a couple of clusters of trees. Clarissa's hand moves to her necklace. She holds onto it as a tear runs down her cheek.

Behind her she could hear Eren and Armin talking to each other. "Remember that girl that was always playing the piano on market street back in Shiganshina?" Armin asked.

"Yeah, what about her?" Eren asked back. The view of the field was fading away as all of her focus was changing to Eren and Armins conversation.

"I think Clarissa is that girl." Armin said.

"Why would you think that?" Mikasa asked this time.

"When the girl was dying Clarissa sung to her. It was the same song that the girl in the cafe sung." Armin said.

"Even though if she is her, how could you know?" Mikasa asked again. Apparently when she just around Armin and Eren she talked more.

"I can't." Armin said.

"Clarissa!" Eren called. Clarissa turned around knowing what he was going to ask. "Are you the girl that sung and played the piano in Shiganshina?" Eren asked. Clarissa raised one of her eyebrows.

"Really? That straight forward?" Eren shrugged. All three of them were waiting for an answer. There was no way to get out of it. "Yes." Clarissa said. All three of them smiled, even Mikasa.

"How much did you get paid? There was alway ten to twenty people in there!" Eren asked. Clarissa shrugged.

"Nothing, I worked off of tips." Clarissa said with a shrug. Eren's eyebrows scrunched together.

"Wait, you remember?" Eren asked. Clarissa's mouth opened to say something but she was saved.

"Time to head out!" Commander Erwin called. Clarissa sighed of relief.

"You heard him." Clarissa said then she walked away to her horse.


	9. Chapter 9

The night was long and uneventful. During the night Commander Hange was able to capture two titans that will be held in Trost. Now that the Survey Corps got what they wanted they started their way back to the Survey Corps base. It was going to be a long ride, five hours exactly. Clarissa only had four hours of sleep for the last forty-eight hours. Instead of taking the breaks to sleep, Clarissa spent it mourning her sisters. They may still be alive, but they aren't with her.

The Survey Corps just got onto their last break for the rest of the expedition. The whole of the Survey Corps had two hours to sleep, eat, drink, do whatever they needed to do to get through the next five hours. Luckily the only deaths so far where the left flank spotters. Which is still horrible, but compared to other expeditions they were lucky this time.

"You should lay down, we have two hours. You haven't slept since we started." Eren said carrying a pillow and sheet over from the supply cart. Clarissa sighed and sat down on the ground. To be honest, she was exhausted. She should have slept a long time ago. Like twenty-four hours ago.

Clarissa nodded. "Okay, thank you." Clarissa said as Eren handed her the pillow and sheet. She placed the pillow down and laid back on it. If she wasn't covered in blood, or laying in a field full of titans, she would probably fall asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Instead she laid on her side looking out to the field.

There were one or two titans but Clarissa knew it would be okay because on each side of the temporary camp had two soldiers stationed to make sure no titan got close. Clarissa was unlucky enough to have that job for one of the midday rests.

It was just after sunrise, so the titans were still slow. Like Commander Hange would say, "The titans haven't had enough sunlight to metabolize yet so they are going to move slower!" Sometimes she can be annoying but in all honesty she was a pure-blood genius.

Clarissa couldn't help but smile at the beautiful of the field in front of her. Behind her she can hear a conversation. "I thought Clarissa was a Sina girl who didn't want anyone to know that." Jean said. Clarissa snickered. Jean obviously thought she was asleep.

"What made you think differently?" A unrecognizable voice asked.

"The way she dealt with that dead girl. She was so… calm, perfect." Clarissa eyes-widened.

"So you have a crush on her?" The other voice asked.

"Sort of, but there is no way I am getting anywhere with her. The first time I talked to her she told me about underage dating. The second she was pissed at me for calling her beautiful." He said. A chuckle came from the other guy. "What?!"

"You do flirt with every cute girl you come across." The other guy said.

"But she isn't like every other girl." Jean said. Finally Clarissa almost laughed. That is the best he has? "She isn't like every other girl"?! That is the shittiest line ever! Every girl is strong and powerful! If he would ever use that line on Clarissa she would be sure to punch him. But Clarissa won't say anything. It is a "man" talk. Maybe that changed his wording. Yeah, changed is wording to talk like a "man".

The thought of that made Clarissa laugh out loud. She stopped herself from making much noise. When she finished laughing she quickly drifted off into sleep.

Clarissa woke up to someone shaking her. She rolled onto her back opened her eyes. Above her she could see Armin. "Time to go?" Clarissa asked. He nodded and stood. Clarissa sat up and looked down at her legs. She grimaced in disgust. She almost forgot about all the blood all over her. Clarissa would be sorry for the poor girl, but she was dead. Now Clarissa had to deal with all the blood.

"I need a showered once I get back to the base." Clarissa groaned standing up.

"And a new change of clothes." Armin chimed in.

"Maybe a good sleep on an actual bed." Clarissa said. She smiled at the thought. Her body ached. Not only from the hard cold ground she slept on. But from the constant horseback riding. Not to mention the weight from the metal containers and the blades and lived in them. It was a lot.

"That sounds nice." Jean said walking up from beside Clarissa. She smiled and picked up the sheet and blanket from the ground. Remembering the conversation Jean had, probably only an hour and a half ago, made her blush a little. "Maybe we-" Clarissa put her hand up silencing him.

"If you want to seduce me that is useless because," Clarissa waved her hand gesturing at Jean. "you are you." Clarissa said with a shrug. Jean sighed and looked over his shoulder at someone and shrugged. If Clarissa had to guess he as the one Jean was talking to earlier. Jean took a step towards her and pulled her in and kissed her.

In the background there was a single cheer. Clarissa pulled away and her eyes were wide. She dropped the pillow and blanket on the ground. Armin was slack-jawed staring at the two. Mikasa and Eren were in the background staring wide-eyed holding a similar expression as Clarissa.

"What the hell?!" Clarissa yelled drawing more attention. She hit him across the face. A crack of skin on skin was loud and almost everyone at the temporary camp was staring at them. Jean's eyes-widened and he put his hand on the red cheek.

"You are naive to think that I would let my first kiss be with a horse-face like you!" Clarissa yelled. Armin took a step back giving them space to do whatever they were doing.

"It was your first kiss?" Jean asked dropping his hand to his side. Clarissa clicked her tongue and crossed her arms. She kicked the ground a little.

"Get out of my sight before I punch all of you teeth out!" Clarissa growled. Jean's friend walked out of the group of ten soldiers watching and placed his hand on Jean's should.

"You messed up." His friend told to him with slight laughter lacing his words. They turned around and his friend started leading him away.

"You cannot believe." Jean laughed. Clarissa picked up the pillow and sheet and threw them against the ground.

"Are you okay?" Armin asked keeping his distance. Clarissa huffed and turned to face him.

"The last time I was this pissed I killed a man! Now use your brain and answer that for yourself!" Clarissa yelled. Armin nodded and took another step back giving her more room. Clarissa's hands turned into fists. Armin knew better than to say anything, so he just stood on the side waiting for her to calm down. Or for a higher-up to come and order them to get to their horses.

"I should've pushed that horse-face into a titan when I had the chance! Or maybe I should of just never joined the military! My sisters wouldn't be dead if I wasn't in the _fucking_ military!" Clarissa yelled. Mikasa and Eren's eyes widened. Everyone else that was watching was gone.

"Clarissa, they might not be dead. You don't know." Armin tried to console her. Nothing would've worked, Clarissa was at her limit. She couldn't get any more angry if she tried.

"I know that! I should have stayed home that day! It was bread _fucking _bread! It was only one dollar cheaper!" Clarissa yelld. Armin squinted his eyes confused. He was smart enough to not ask any questions given her current...state.

"What the hell is going on here?" A cold monotone voice asked. Clarissa turned and Captain Levi was walking towards the two of them. Clarissa smirked and shook her head.

"Great, just great." Clarissa said to herself shaking her head.

"I asked a question! What the hell is going on here?" He asked more stern. Armin took a step forward deciding Clarissa wasn't going to speak.

"Jean… urm, kissed her. She didn't want him to kiss her. Then she slapped him." Armin explained. Clarissa could almost feel the eyebrows on the short Captain scrunch together.

"We are heading out in a minute. If you are not on your horses by then we will leave without you." Captain Levi ordered to the four of them. Mikasa, Eren, Armin, and Clarissa. Armin, Eren and Mikasa all saluted then ran off to their horses.

Clarissa just stared at Captain Levi. He stared back at her. "Go!" Captain Levi ordered. Clarissa instinctively saluted and turned around to where her horse was. Clarissa shook her head as she climbed onto her horse. There was dried blood on the reins. When she took hold she could feel the flakes of blood rubbing off on her hands.

She grimaced and looked up at the field in front of her. Her two team members were behind her. Which Clarissa was grateful for so she wouldn't have to look at Jean's horse-face. The five hours went by fast. They got back to the base.

Clarissa jumped off of her horse. She took off the saddle, saddle pad, and reins. Then she put the horse into its stall. She also filled up the water and gave it food. Clarissa sat down on the ground with a bucket of water and some soap. She took the saddle and placed it in front of her, then she started scrubbing it, getting rid of the dried blood.

The soap was turning to a crimson red. Clarissa grimaced as she scrubbed. "Do you need any help?" Armin asked walking up to Clarissa. Clarissa looked up at him and shook her head. She looked back down and continued to scrub the saddle.

"Clarissa, you have to go have a shower, and sleep. The saddle won't be gone when you come back." Armin said calmly. Clarissa sighed and nodded realizing he was right. She was covered in blood. It has been forty-eight hours since they left the base. During that time she only got two hours of sleep. Two _horrible_ hours of sleep. Clarissa placed the saddle to the side and she stood up with the help of armin.

"I need to talk with Commander Erwin before I go inside." Clarissa said. Armin nodded and looked over to where Commander Erwin was standing. He was standing in a group with Captain Levi and Commander Hange. Clarissa sighed and walked up to them. When she approached them she saluted.

"Sir," Clarissa said looking at Commander Erwin. "May I ask something?" He nodded. Clarissa dropped her arm from her chest and placed it behind her back. "Sierra Amori, I was with her when she passed. She asked me to pass along a message to her mother. Could I be notified after she is aware?" Clarissa asked.

"Yes, I am having her mother come here tomorrow. She has a son in the higher ranks. She would want to see him." Commander Erwin said. Clarissa smiled and nodded.

"Thank you sir. I will be excusing myself now." Clarissa said with a bow of her head. Commander Erwin smiled and nodded. Clarissa turned around and as she walked up to the building Armin ran up beside her. He walked behind her in silence.

Clarissa walked into her room and picked up a change of sweat pants, underwear, and a white tank top. Then she took off all on her gear and straps and placed them on the dresser. Then she walked to the women's shower room and walked into one of the stalls.

Who was the genius who chose white pants for the uniform? There is probably some very reasonable tactical reason such as: you can see if your legs are bleeding. But if your legs were bleeding you would probably know!

Clarissa peeled off her pants leaving dried blood on her legs. The pants were definitely garbage. Clarissa took her top off and set her necklace on top of it. She continued to undress, and took a twenty minute long shower. She changed into her grey sweatpants and the white tank top. She made sure that she put the necklace on.

The pants were garbage so she threw them in the garbage as soon as she left the small showers stall. Her maroon dress shirt was neatly folded and sitting on the counter next to the sink. Clarissa looked at herself in the mirror above the sink.

There were large dark circles under her eyes and her hair was long and looked in dire need of a cut. Clarissa picked up a pair of stray scissors from the counter and cut her hair, the length changed from reaching the middle of her back to sitting at the middle of her chest.

Her grey eyes looked, cold. This was not a familiar look to her, at least before she joined the military. Before she joined the military her eyes always sparkled. But after, they were cold and lifeless. Clarissa isn't quite sure on how she felt about it.

The door to the communal bathroom open. Instead of one of the girls it was Jean. Idiot horse-face. Clarissa sighed and closed her eyes. Her blood boiling at the sight of him. "Tell me why you are in the women's room?" Clarissa asked then she opened her eyes. Jean furthered into the room and the doors closed behind him.

"I wanted to say sorry." He said with a shrug sticking his hands into the pockets of his dirt-covered white uniform jeans.

"How did you know I was here anyway?" Clarissa asked looking back at herself in the mirror.

"Someone told me. You know there are only three people in the Survey Corps with black hair and grey eyes?" Jean said walking up to her. Clarissa nodded, it's true.

"Yes, it's hard not to notice. You came here to apologize, apologize." Clarissa said staring at herself in the mirror. Her eyes, she just wanted them to sparkle again. She wanted to see herself smile. There is only one thing that would really bring her happiness: seeing her sisters safe and alive.

"Okay, I'm sorry for what happen-"

"You kissed me, apologize properly." Clarissa said keeping a straight face. Jean sighed and crossed his arms.

"I am sorry for kissing you." He said. Clarissa picked up the top and draped it over her arm. She turned to him and sighed.

"If a titan is about to eat you I am not saving you." Clarissa said walking out of the bathroom.


	10. Chapter 10

It has been two months since the expedition. During that one month Clarissa had been writing songs in all of her free time, if she wasn't already working with Commander Hange. Commander Hange had been working with Clarissa a lot. Commander Hange has been bringing her to do experiments on the captive titans and just hanging out with Clarissa in any free moment.

Clarissa had a suspicion that Commander Hange is seeing if she should join her squad. At first this was a crazy thought, but the longer Clarissa spent time with Commander Hange the more it felt like her suspicion was correct. A member of Commander Hange's squad did die during the expedition. Because of that Commander Hange only had two other members in her squad.

One day when Clarissa was exploring the base she found a small formal living area that hardly anyone used. Inside of it was a piano. Clarissa sat down on the bench in front of it and she ran her hands along the dark wood. She flipped up the hood covering the keys and she pressed one key.

She started playing slowly to get use to the feel of the keys. It has been nearly six years since she played the piano last. So it took Clarissa a minute to remember how to play. After she got use to the keys she closed her eyes and let her fingers dance along the keys. It has been so long since she felt so much like herself.

When she finished there was clapping behind her. She turned around to see Commander Hange standing in the doorway. Clarissa stood up instantly and saluted. "That was amazing!" Commander Hange said waving off Clarissa's salute.

"Thank you." Clarissa said.

"Where did you learn how to play?" Commander Hange asked furthering into the room.

"I taught myself when I was younger. It was just a way for me to make money." Clarissa said crossing her arms.

"How old were you?" Clarissa raises her eyebrow. "How old were you when you started playing?"

"Around ten," Clarissa said then she dropped her arms to her side. "There must have been a reason for you to come get me." Commander Hange nodded.

"Yes, it is titan day!" Commander Hange said throwing her fist in the air.

"Didn't we just go two days ago?" Clarissa asked.

"Yes…. but I have a set of new experiments to try!" Commander Hange said with a smile.

"Did you even have any sleep since we went last?" Clarissa asked. Commander Hange's mouth opened slightly and she put up a finger.

"No, but titans won't wait to be tested on!" Commander Hange said with a wide smile. Behind her, her right hand Moblit, appeared.

"They can wait two hours. It is lunch in ten minutes. Go sleep for two hours and we will be ready to leave by the time you wake up." Clarissa said. Moblit nodded. Commander Hange followed Clarissa eyes and look at Moblit.

"I think it a good plan. It would take us an hour or two to prepare anyway." Moblit said. Commander Hange sighed.

"Okay, but make sure you have all of the books I asked for." Commander Hange said. Moblit nodded.

"I already have them in a pile in your office." Moblit said. Commander Hange nodded and opened her mouth to speak. "Clarissa, Nifa and I will prepare the horses after lunch."

"Now go sleep, we all have it covered." Clarissa finished. Commander Hange turned to Clarissa and nodded.

"Thank you." Commander Hange said before she walked out of the small living room. Moblit watched her walk away then he walked into the small living area.

"You haven't spent a lot of time with Section Commander Hange and you already know how to help her." Moblit said furthering into the room. Clarissa nodded and crossed her arms.

"It may be because when I was younger I had to take care of my four year old sister. In some ways they are the same. Neither of them enjoy eating or sleeping because they have better things to do." Clarissa said. She couldn't help but smile thinking about Alessandra.

"You have a sister?" He asked. Clarissa paused for a moment. Should she just tell him? She should just open up. It had been a while since she got her memory back.

"Two, I haven't seen them for… six years now. So I have no idea where they are, or if they even are." Clarissa said with a shrug. Moblit's eyes widened and he nodded.

"You lived in Maria?" He asked.

"Shiganshina, yeah." Clarissa said looking past him at the door. "It should be lunch. We should get going." Clarissa said walking past Moblit. He turned and followed her out of the formal living room and down to the mess hall.

Clarissa got her food and sat down with her friends, Eren, Armin, and Mikasa. Clarissa took a sip of water before anyone spoke to her. "You came in with Moblit, I don't see Commander Hange anywhere. Are you doing anything later?" Armin asked.

"Yeah, Commander Hange wanted to go to do more experiments. Moblit and I had to convince her to sleep before we went." Clarissa said taking a bit of the chicken.

"Do you think Commander Hange is going to ask you to join her squad? You have been spending a lot of time with her." Eren said. Clarissa shrugged. She had thought about it. But she wasn't sure.

"Maybe," Clarissa said with a shrug. "She is running low on members. But I haven't even been a soldier for a year." Clarissa took another bite of her chicken. "Did you know that there is a piano in the formal living up on the third floor?"

"No, why? Were you playing it?" Eren asked. Clarissa shrugged half-heartedly.

"Kinda,"

"How do you kind of play a piano?" Mikasa asked. Clarissa looked up surprised.

"Uh..," Clarissa said trying to find an answer. "You don't. You either play it or not." Mikasa nodded.

"Did you play it or not then?" Mikasa asked.

"According to that way of looking at things, I did." Clarissa said and she smiled slightly. Mikasa nodded. Clarissa stares at her food and sighs. There were better things to do than eat. She drops her fork on the plate then she stands up. "Excuse me," Clarissa said bowing her head before she walked out of the mess hall.

She had better things to do than eat. Clarissa thought about those couple of times where she had to make Commander Hange eat, and how she didn't find it important. Clarissa shook off that thought with the fact that Commander Hange hadn't eaten for three days during those times. Clarissa had breakfast, she would be okay if she missed out on lunch.

The second she left the mess hall she knew where she was going to go, to the piano. She walked up the many stairs to get to the formal living room that the piano resided in. Once Clarissa got into the room she closed the door behind her. Clarissa walked up to the piano and placed her hand on the piano and ran her hand along the keys.

Clarissa sat down on the bench in front of the piano and held her hands over the piano ready to press the keys. She sighed and closed her eyes. When she first played this piano it was easy because she forgot how it felt. Clarissa pressed the key and and opened her eyes. Clarissa's fingers started pressing other keys.

She didn't have to think about what she was going to play because she was already playing it. As she played it brought back many memories. Memories of her sisters sitting at the piano with her. Clarissa holding her hand over Alessandra's to help her learn how to play. Alina begging for Clarissa to teach her the songs, and Clarissa giving in and spending hours on hours teaching her.

A tear began to ran how her cheek. She pulled her hands away from the piano and placed them in her lap. _It is just a stupid piano! _Clarissa thought. A stupid piano that holds so many memories. So many memories of Alessandra, and Alina. Her two sisters that were so full of joy no matter what happened in their life. No matter how much hatred, they always smiled. They smiled until Clarissa made the stupid decision of leaving them and letting them die!

Clarissa's fists hit the keys making a loud horrible sound. Hot tears began flowing down her face. "I'm so stupid!" Clarissa muttered between her tears. She placed her elbows on the keys and rested her head in her hands. Tears rolled down her cheeks and landed on the piano keys. She sobbed quietly. Instead of the quiet hum of the piano, the room was filled with her sobs. Clarissa straightened up and slammed the lid closed over the piano.

"Clare?" A voice asked her. Clarissa knew exactly who it is, Armin. She wanted no one to see her like this. Especially by someone she respected. She silenced her sobs by putting her hand in front of her mouth. "Nifa said that her and Moblit are getting Commander Hange's supplies ready to head out. She asked me to let you know." Armin continued. Clarissa nodded to let him know she heard what he said. She didn't want to speak because her voice would be to shaky.

Why didn't Clarissa want Armin to see her cry? He has seen her cry before. He has been with her at her lowest moments. What was different with this moment? Is it jealousy? It can't be. What is there to be jealous of? They shared the same friends, they held the same rank, they both got to eat the same amount of food, they got the same accommodations. If anything Clarissa had it better for being close to Commander Hange.

The only reason of why Clarissa could think she was jealous of Armin was because he knew how the people he loved died. His parents died sometime before the fall of wall Maria, Clarissa knew this much, and he lived with his grandfather. Clarissa didn't know the details of how he died, but she knew he died after the fall of Maria. So it was probably one of those times when they sent people out to wall Maria, or he simply died from starvation.

"Are you still there?" Clarissa asked once her cries calmed.

"Yes," Armin said behind her. Clarissa nodded and straightened up. She wiped her tears away then she stood up and turned to him. He was standing in the doorway with a softened expression. No specific expression that Clarissa was able to read.

"Thank you," Clarissa said with a soft smile before she left the room. After she left the room she walked straight into a bathroom. She locked the door and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and her hair was slightly messed up from the training earlier in the day. To be honest, she was a mess. Clarissa sighed and ran her hands through her hair to try and make it look better than it was. Clarissa braided her black hair into a tight braid and tied off the end with a piece of string from her pocket. Clarissa took a slow deep breath then she walked out of the bathroom.

In the hallway Commander Hange was just passing. When Commander Hange saw Clarissa she stopped and turned to her. "Has it already been two hours?" Clarissa asked wiping away a stray tear that fell down her cheek.

"No, it has only been one. But I did get forty-five minutes of sleep. Thank you for making me sleep. I never would have slept otherwise!" She said with a smile Clarissa nodded.

"No problem," Clarissa said brushing a stray hair out of her face. Commander Hange's smile faded as she looked closer at Clarissa.

"You look like you've been crying. Are you okay?" Commander Hange asked in a calm sincere tone. Very different of what Clarissa is used to. Clarissa's eyes widened and she nodded.

"I will be good in a bit. We have to get going, right?" Clarissa asked. Commander Hange nodded and smiled.

"Yes! We have to head to my office and get my books!" Commander Hange said start to walk down the hallway. Clarissa followed right after her.

"Nifa and Moblit are getting them, from what I heard." Clarissa said. Commander Hange paused and nodded.

"Off to ready the horses then!" Commander Hange said turning on her heel almost hitting Clarissa. Commander Hange started power walking down the hallway towards the stairs. Clarissa nearly had to run to keep up with her. Once they got outside Nifa was already placing Commander Hange's books into the cart. Moblit was nowhere in sight but as soon as Nifa saw Commander Hange she saluted.

"I thought you would still be asleep." Nifa said dropping her salute at Commander Hange's wave of a hand.

"I was, but I was so excited I couldn't sleep for too long!" Commander Hange said with a smile. She looked around the area then her eyes landed on Nifa again. "Where is Moblit?"

"He is off getting the horse for the cart." Nifa said. Commander Hange turned to Clarissa.

"Clarissa, you will ride in the other horse on the way to see the titans. Go get the horse." Commander Hange said. Clarissa saluted then walked over to the stables. On her way to the stables she runs in with Moblit going back to the cart. They said nothing to each other but they gave each other a respectful nod.

Clarissa got to the horse and saddle it up and got onto it. Clarissa rode up to the rest of the group and they began to ride towards Trost. Nifa was driving the cart, Moblit and Hange were in the back talking about Sina knows what. Clarissa was riding beside the cart.

It took an hour to get to Trost. When they got to Trost the titans, or Commander Hange's babies, are near the gate to wall Maria. They had to ride through Trost then they got near the gate. There were tower metal scaffolding covered in green fabric.

Clarissa got off of her horse and one of the Garrison soldiers came and got the horse and tied it to a pole. Commander Hange turned to Clarissa. "Clarissa, I need you to go buy me a notebook! I forgot mine." Commander Hange said holding out money to Clarissa. Clarissa took the money and saluted.

"I will return soon." Clarissa said before she turned away. As Clarissa walked down the street she got a lot of weird looks. It was normal for Garrison soldiers and Military Police to walk the street but a scout hardly did. Especially not one that was fully geared up. Clarissa had her ODM gear, that were fully stocked with blades.

As Clarissa walked someone pulled on her jacket. Clarissa looked over surprised to see a young girl. She could be no older that five, she had long reddish brown hair and blue eyes. "Oh my! I am so sorry about her!" The girls' mother says walking towards the young girl.

"No it's alright." Clarissa said with a smile. The mother stopped walking and watched confused. Clarissa crouched down to be at eye level with the girl.

"Did you go outside the walls?!" The little girl asked with a wide smile.

"Yes," Clarissa said matching the girls' smile.

"Is it scary?" The girl asked. Clarissa shrugged

"It can be, you have to really brave." Clarissa said. The girl nodded. The girls' mother in the back was smiling.

"What are those?" The girls asked pointing at the container that holds the blades.

"Those are very dangerous you can't touch them." Clarissa said grabbing onto the girls' hand making sure she can't touch them. "They are my blades that I use to kill titans. So they have to be really sharp." The girl smiled

"How many titans have you killed?" The girl asked. Clarissa paused a moment to think.

"Two," Clarissa said smiling.

"Clarissa, Section Commander Hange is getting antsy without the notebook." Moblit called down the street. Clarissa looked over and stood up.

"Sorry, I got distracted." Clarissa said with the same smile. Moblit nodded and turned around.

"I am so sorry that she distracted you. I hope you don't get in trouble." The mother said grabbing onto the little girls' hand. Clarissa looked over at the woman and shook her head.

"Don't be sorry, Commander Hange is kind. She wouldn't get mad at me for talking to a beautiful young lady." Clarissa said smiling down at the girl. "But like he said, I have a job to get back to."

"Thank you for talking with my daughter." The woman thanked. Clarissa nodded.

"That you for your support. Honestly, it helps a lot, there aren't enough people that support me and my comrades." Clarissa said with a smile. The womans' smile widened and she nodded.

"You have work to get to. I don't want to hold you back!" The woman said waving off Clarissa. Clarissa nodded and walked away. If she didn't walk away at that moment she would of never stopped talking to the little girl. The little girl is in her curiosity phase, Clarissa just feels sorry for the mother that has to deal with it twenty-four-seven.

Clarissa walked into a store and bought the notebook for her Commander and then she began walking back to where the titans were. On her way Commander Hange begins to run up to her. Right in front of the people she was talking to early. Clarissa handed the notebook to Commander Hange then she saluted.

"What took you so long?" Commander Hange asked flipping through the notebook.

"I was speaking with a girl, Ma'am." Clarissa said dropping her salute. Commander Hange looked up and smiled then she nodded.

"Alright! We have work to do!" Commander Hange said turning away. As Clarissa followed Commander Hange she winked to the young girl that she spoke with earlier. The girl responded with a wide smile.


	11. Chapter 11

"Clarissa, before we begin I would like to ask you a question." Commander Hange said walking up to Clarissa. Clarissa nodded. "Would you like to join my squad?" She asked.

"That came out of nowhere." Clarissa said without thinking. Commander Hange raised her eyebrow. "Sorry, yes of course. It would be an honor." Clarissa said with a smile. Commander Hange nodded and smiled.

"Perfect! I will let Erwin know when we get back. Until then, titans!" Commander Hange said turning around and walked up to the two titans tied up and nailed down so they couldn't move. Clarissa was given the job of recording it all. So she sat down at the temporary desk and opened the notebook she just bought. She had to write down everything Commander Hange did and how the titans reacted.

Moblit is standing right by Commander Hange watching her very closely. Nifa is standing off on the side with the Garrison just observing. Commander Hange started talking to the titans. Clarissa wrote down everything she said and every little move the titan did. Who knows what might be important later on.

Commander Hange got a little too close to one of the titans and she almost got eaten. Clarissa jumped out of her seat. Moblit grabbed onto her and pulled her out of the way. "This is a feisty one!" Commander Hange said laughing.

Clarissa sighed and sat down. _All titans are fiesty, they eat people for Sina sake! _Clarissa thought. She would of said it, but she didn't want to get on the bad side of Commander Hange when she was just welcomed into her squad. Clarissa got a thought and stood up from the desk.

"Commander?" She asked. Commander Hange turned around to look at Clarissa. "Did you do research on how fast titans metabolize the sun. Or how long it takes for them to run out of what energy they have metabolized. Or how about does size matter, or hair color?" Commander Hange paused for a moment to thing then she smiled.

"I have figured out the first two, but the last thing? I didn't think about that! Appearance! It has to do with something!" Commander Hange said with a wide smile. She walked up to the table where Clarissa was at.

"Yeah! Does the size change speed? Do certain abnormals only reach a certain height?" Clarissa asked with a smile. Commander Hange smiled and nodded.

"We will have to remember that for the next expedition! Write it down, remind me!" Commander Hange almost screamed. Clarissa nodded and ripped out an empty paper from the crisp new notebook and wrote a reminder down on it. "I knew I chose you for a reason!" Commander Hange said before she went back up to the titans and Clarissa was left to record the rest of the experiments which were better worded as "torture".

The experiments had gone on for three or four hours, it is hard to keep track of time, when Moblit made her sit down and have a water break. Clarissa took this time to go for a small walk. She took the notebook with her to look over it. To make sure she didn't miss anything. Out of nowhere the ground began to shake.

Clarissa looked up from her book to see large boulders flying towards her. Out of reflex Clarissa grabbed a young girl that was walking beside her. The second she did was use her ODM gear to fly to the safety of the wall. Clarissa landed on the wall with the other members of her new squad, including Commander Hange.

The girl that Clarissa was holding happened to of been the girl she was talking with before. The girl was sobbing into Clarissa's chest. Clarissa looked down at the ground. The place where the girl was now had a collapsed clock tower in its place. If Clarissa hadn't got her she would be...

"Clarissa, are you okay? Is the girl okay?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa looked over at her. Then she looked down at the girl in her arms. She had no injury, she was just screaming and crying.

"We are both okay. What are your orders Commander?" Clarissa asked. Commander Hange looked down at the ground. Titans were beginning to walk into Trost.

"Moblit, make sure that the stationary guards get information to the base as quick as they can. Nifa start evacuating. Clarissa help that girl, find a stationary guard to watch over her. We need you." Commander Hange said. Moblit and Nifa nodded immediately flying into the streets to carry out their orders. Clarissa looked down at the girl.

"I can't leave her!" Clarissa almost yelled. Commander Hange looked around herself.

"Get her to a stationary guard that can bring her to behind wall rose. Then start killing as much titans as you can. That is an order!" Commander Hange said before she flied away. Clarissa kneeled down to be face to face with the young girl. Tears were streaming down her cheek. Her hands are over her eyes.

"Hey, what is your name? Sorry I didn't ask before." Clarissa asked in a calm voice even though the sound of blood curdling screams is all she could here.

"T-T-Tal..ia…" The girl said in between sobs. "I want my mommy!" Clarissa nodded.

"I know, can you do something for me?" Clarissa asked. The girl dropped her hands from her eyes and nodded. "Be brave, that is all you have to do. Be brave, I will help you." Clarissa said. The girl nodded.

"O-Okay," Talia said nodding. Clarissa stood up and picked up the girl. Talia's head rested right by her ear. All Clarissa could hear were her muffled cries.

"Tell me about yourself, when is your birthday?" Clarissa asked starting to walk towards the small group of stationary guards.

"My birthday is in one month. I turn six, my mommy started teaching me to read." Talia said. A stationary guard saw Clarissa and Talia and began running up to them.

"Really? What words can you read?" Clarissa asked as the other soldier got up to them.

"To and and!" The girl said proudly. Clarissa kneeled down and set the girl down.

"That is impressive. I have to go kill those titans. This guy will take care of you." Clarissa said looking back at the stationary guard behind the girl. Talia turned and looked at him. Clarissa stood up. "Tell your higherup that Commander Hange ordered for her to be brought behind Rose safely." Clarissa said pulling out her blades. The stationary guard nodded and grabbed onto Talia's hand.

"Good luck miss!" Talia said between her cries. Clarissa smiled and nodded.

"Thank you," Clarissa said before she flew off the building. On her way to kill the first titan she was thinking about how she shouldn't of spent so much time talking to the girl. Clarissa could of killed two or three titans in the time it took to speak with her. The girl doesn't even know yet, she doesn't know her mother is dead. Maybe talking with her was what she needed.

Clarissa killed the titans that had gotten further into Trost. Those ones are more of a threat. There was an amount of seven to eight titans already in Trost. Out of what Clarissa could count. Commander Hange also killed one or two on her way to do whatever her plan was. Clarissa had already killed a titan that was on her way to one that was further into Trost. So from the information that Clarissa had, ten or eleven titans have already made their way into Trost. It has only been four or five minutes. It will take an hour for the rest of the Survey Corps to arrive, at least. If not double that. How much titans will be able to get in in that time?

The quick math Clarissa used, is that she is able to kill about four or five titans a minute. That is normal titans, not abnormals, and it is likely for their to be lots of them. So five titans a minute, sixty minutes an hour, three-hundred titans an hour, times two, six-hundred. She could kill six-hundred normal titans in two hours. Take away a hundred for time she would use to refill her blades and gas. Then you would have to take away time for injuries... It is too much to calculate. Long story short, Trost is screwed.

Only three Survey Corps veterans, and one rookie. How the hell can they keep the whole of Trost safe? There are the stray stationary guards brave enough to take to the air, only to be eaten a couple of seconds after. At least Trost has it slightly better than Shiganshina did, at least Trost has three Survey Corps veterans.

After the first forty-five minutes of the fall of Trost, Clarissa had killed the upwards up thirty titans. Clarissa is going down a road finding the next titan to kill. A titan walks out of the street behind her and pulls the wire of her ODM gear. Clarissa fell back into a building. The world around her spins as she tried to find her breath.

Once Clarissa's head stopped spinning and she was able to see clearly a titan was standing in front of her. Clarissa tried to stand up but her ankle gave out beneath her and she fell and she began to slide down the roof. Before she slid off the roof completely she grabbed onto the ledge.

She used her free hand to fire off her ODM gear and she flew down the road to another roof away from the titan. She landed and sat down. _Why was this happening today? _Clarissa thought. _Why is it happening at all?_

So many have already died today. So many will die in the day coming. Titans are everywhere. Absolutely everywhere. Clarissa tried so hard to kill as much titans as she could. Was one ankle injury going to stop her? It was just a sprained ankle! People are dying! Can't she just put aside her pain for the next, what seven, eight hours? Clarissa pulled herself up to stand. She was hesitant with the pain in her ankle but she got more motivated when she saw large groups of people flying across the streets killing titans.

_My friends are finally here._ Clarissa thought. She took a step forwards and winced with the pain in her ankle.

"Clarissa, how are you doing?" Nifa asked landing on the roof in front of Clarissa. Clarissa sighed and looked off at all the titans. The sound of screams were gone. Everyone is either behind the safely of the wall, or dead.

"Good, I guess. How are you?" Clarissa asked granting herself a small break from titan killing. She could have a minute without anyone dying, or anyone she knew dying. The rest of the Survey Corps are here, she has kept up for forty-five minutes. A break is allowed.

"Well, good. Good for watching people die." Nifa said. Clarissa nodded and looked down at her ankle.

"Yeah, the rest of the Survey Corps is here?" Clarissa asked. Nifa nodded.

"They got here five minutes ago. We should go get more blades and gas." Nifa suggested. Clarissa nodded. After that they flew down the street together and they got atop wall Rose. They landed on the wall and there were two stationary guards going through many different crates that probably have supplies in them.

Not a second after they land Commander Hange lands beside them. "Hey, you two." Commander Hange said changing out her gas tanks. "Take a five minute break. You guys deserve it." Clarissa nodded and walked up beside Commander Hange to change her gas.

"Did you get any injuries?" Commander Hange asked before Moblit landed on the wall as well.

"I just twisted my ankle, but other than that I am fine." Clarissa said as she finished changing out her gas tanks. Commander Hange looked over at Moblit then she looked back at Clarissa.

"Get that bandaged up. Then find me. I will let you know on what to do after that." Commander Hange said looking between Clarissa and Nifa. They both nod and Commander Hange turned to talk with Moblit as she refilled their blades.

Clarissa grabbed onto a thick white bandage and took it out of a crate. Then she sat down on an empty upside down crate. Nifa was on one beside Clarissa drinking water out of a canteen.

"I thought you would have died. Or at least have been severely injured." Nifa said as Clarissa took off her boot. Clarissa raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?" Clarissa asked wrapping the bandage around her ankle.

"No offense, but you are just a first year rookie. I am just beginning to understand why Commander Hange chose you to join our squad." Nifa said. Clarissa shrugged and finished bandaging her foot up. It made sense, she was a first year soldier. If it was anyone else Clarissa would expect them to die as well.

"I understand," Clarissa said putting her foot into her boot. "It may be due to a bit of information Commander Hange has. Remember when I had to spend those two weeks with her?" Clarissa asked looking up at Nifa. She nodded.

"Yeah, I was wondering why." Nifa said. She took in a deep breath.

_I have to tell someone sooner or later._ Clarissa thought.

"It was because there were issues with my identity." Clarissa said. Nifa raised an eyebrow in confusion. "I don't want to go into details, but because of memory problems I enlisted under a fake last name."

"So Everdeen isn't your last name?" Nifa asked. Clarissa sighed and shook her head. Is she really doing this? She hadn't even told Armin. Her closest friend.

"Well, not my birth last name. My birth last name is Ackerman." Clarissa said. Nifa's mouth parted slightly then she smiled.

"That makes sense! Commander Hange could see the possibilities in you with you being Ackerman! With Captain Levi and Mikasa being Ackerman, that makes sense!" Nifa said almost jumping off of the crate. Clarissa put her hand on her head. Is that what people would really think about me if they knew she was an Ackerman?

"I have to get back to Commander Hange," Clarissa said standing up. She walked up to the blades, limping slightly.

"How many people know about your name?" Nifa asked behind Clarissa causing her to turn around.

"You, Commander Hange, and whatever other higher up that needed the information," Clarissa said with a shrug.

Nifa's eyes widened."Your friends don't even know?"

"No, I haven't found it important. Especially if it would change their opinions on me. But first, we should get through this." Clarissa said. Nifa nodded and walked behind her to grab blades. Clarissa looked forward at all the titans and her comrades flying through the streets. With a deep breath, Clarissa fired off her ODM gear.


	12. Chapter 12

Clarissa landed on a roof beside Commander Hange and Moblit. They were looking off at something. Clarissa walked up beside them to see what they were looking at. They were looking at a group of five or six soldiers flying around four titans. Clarissa squints her eyes then looked over at Commander Hange.

"Aren't you going to do anything? They look like they are struggling!" Clarissa said just as Nifa landed on the roof as well. Commander Hange looked at Clarissa with a smile.

"They got it! We will let one of them get eaten then we will head over there! That is why we are watching." Commander Hange said then she looked back to the group of soldiers. Clarissa sighed.

"They could be my friends! They have families! Why aren't you-"

"We will wait." Commander Hange said. Clarissa sighed and looked back over to the group of soldiers. Her hand tightened around her gear ready to fire off her ODM gear at any moment. She wanted to object. She wanted to run in and help them. Clarissa had to remind herself that it is Commander Hange, crazy scientist of the Survey Corps. Amazing strategist. She probably knows excatly what she is doing.

Two of the titans fell to the ground and started smoking. Maybe Commander Hange knew exactly who the soldiers were and that they could handle themselves. Even though that is the most likely situation, Clarissa couldn't help but feel guilty for not helping them. Even with her guilt she doesn't move as much as one centimeter.

Suddenly three more titans walked up to them. Now it was one on one, no cadet can deal with that. Maybe they weren't cadets. But with the look on Commander Hange's face, they most likely were.

"Nifa, Clarissa, go in for backup." Commander Hange ordered. It didn't take as much as one second for Clarissa to be flying through streets towards the group. Behind her were the snapping of wires from Nifa's gears.

Clarissa got up to the first three titans that just began to approach on the group. Clarissa took out two of the titans on her way to the main group. The third one was too out of the way for Clarissa to kill on her way. Nifa got the other one as she followed Clarissa. Clarissa got up to small group of five soldiers. They were all startled to watch Clarissa fly past them and kill two of the three titans in the group by the. Nifa killed the other one.

Clarissa landed on one of the roofs. While she landed she almost fell over because the pain of her ankle was so sudden. She decided to sit down on the top of the roof to give her ankle a break.

"Clare?" A voice asked. There was only three people that ever called her that. Two of them Clarissa had no idea where they were. Leaving it to be Armin.

_Was it seriously him? _Clarissa thought as she caught her breath. She grabbed onto her ankle and held onto it.

"Clarissa, is that you?!" A voice that Clarissa recognized as Eren said. Clarissa looked up and Armin, Eren, Jean, Sasha, and some other person Clarissa didn't recognize were standing on the roof.

"Yep, it's the all mighty Clarissa Everdeen." Clarissa said sarcastically looking down at her ankle.

"Is your ankle alright?" The girl Clarissa didn't recognize asked. Clarissa shrugged out of an instinctual action.

"I already got it bandaged. It is as good as it is going to be at this moment." Clarissa said then she stood up. "I don't think I have had the pleasure to get to know your name. If don't mind if I ask?" The girls' eyes widened. As well as Armin's and Eren's, they aren't used to Clarissa acting so formal. She normally didn't act formal, in the military. Before the military she was as formal as formal could be.

"Oh, it's Mina." She said with a smile. Clarissa nodded.

"Clarissa, I am going back to Commander Hange. Once you are finished here I am sure she will want you back as well." Nifa called as she stood on the roof across from them. Clarissa nodded then Nifa flew off.

"You're alive?" Jean asked. Clarissa looked at him and sighed.

"Yes, I am surprised that your brain is so small for you just to notice that." Clarissa said with a smirk.

"Clare, this is no-"

"You seriously still have a grudge on me after two months?" He asked with a laugh. Clarissa sighed and closed her eyes.

"You really must be stupid in order to think I would forgive you." Clarissa said. She opened her eyes and Jean was smirking.

"Maybe if you kissed me one more time I would start to think more." Jean said closing his eyes and pursing his lips. Clarissa walked up to him and slapped him, holding nothing back. He fell back down the roof but was able to use his ODM gear to climb back up to the roof. Armin grabbed onto her arm and watched Jean.

"You could of killed him!" Sasha called. Clarissa snickered a bit then lightly pulled her arm away from Armin.

"No way, he is to able with ODM to fall to the ground." Clarissa said then she turned around and pulled out her blades. She was spending too much time with the group. She had to get back to Commander Hange.

"Is that a compliment I hear?" Jean asked. Clarissa shook her head and kept her head straight as she watched Commander Hange, Nifa, and Moblit standing on a roof watching them.

"No, it is a mere fact." Clarissa said then she flew off the roof and over to the roof that Commander Hange, Nifa and Moblit are on.

"You slapped him! He fell off the roof. You slapped him!" Commander Hange yelled. Clarissa nodded slowly.

"Yes, am I in trouble for it?" Clarissa asked switching out her blades.

"No, you would of been if something happened. So, don't slap anyone else if there is a possibility of them falling to their death." Commander Hange said with a smile. Clarissa smiled.

"So that means if I slap someone, I won't get in trouble for it unless they are actually in danger of death?" Clarissa asked with a smile. Commander Hange smiled.

"Only if no one else knows." Commander Hange said. Clarissa smiled and shook her head.

"Okay, what are we doing now?" Clarissa asked getting rid of her smile. Commander Hange nodded then looked around.

"We wait until someone needs backup. Until then we don't need to do anything." Commander Hange said walking to the other side of the roof to look around. Clarissa looked over to Moblit. He shrugged and walked up beside Commander Hange.

"How can we tell if someone needs backup if we don't move?" Clarissa asked walking up beside Commander Hange.

"Good point," Commander Hange said, "I guess we wait until someone screams…"

"Why wouldn't we just go around until we find someone that needs help." Clarissa suggests. Commander Hange nodded and smiled.

"I guess that would be the smartest idea. So, let's go!" Commander Hange said then she used her ODM gear and flew off the roof and started flying through the streets. Clarissa, Nifa, and Moblit instantly followed her. They flew through the streets killing any titans in their way. There was no one exactly in need of help. Everyone had it all sorted out. So Commander Hange and her squad were just doing their part of killing.

After another hour or two of titan killing Commander Hange decides for them to land on wall Rose to talk with Commander Erwin, and Captain Levi. Captain Levi's squad was still out in Trost but Commander Hange decided to keep her squad with her.

"What is our plan?" Captain Levi asked. Clarissa sat down on an empty upturned crate. She could of kept standing but her ankle was in too much pain.

"Right now our goal is to keep the gate to inside of wall Rose safe. We are near getting everyone alive into wall Rose. We will be able to close the gate in half an hour to forty-five minutes." Commander Erwin said crossing his arms. Commander Hange and Captain Levi nodded.

"So we have to keep the titans away from wall Rose as much as we can for the next hour?" Clarissa asked standing up again. Commander Hange, Commander Erwin, and Captain Levi turned to look at her.

"Yes, then we will work on a way to block up the Trost gate." Commander Erwin said. Clarissa nodded.

"Moblit, relay this information." Commander Hange said. Moblit saluted then used his ODM gear to get off of the roof. Clarissa turned to look off at the whole of Trost. There were titans everywhere. Blood splattered everywhere. Smoke rising from dead titans. Not to mention the fact that the sun is beginning to set, making it more creepy and deadly.

"Everdeen," Captain Levi called. Clarissa looked over shocked.

"Yes sir?" Clarissa asked. He walked up to Clarissa.

"Congratulations on not dying." Captain Levi said before he flew away from the roof into the streets. Clarissa's eyes widened as she watched him fly off.

"Levi complimented you! That is a first!" Commander Hange said with a smile. Clarissa shrugged.

"Yep, I better not die now." Clarissa said with a smile.

"Let's get back out there so there are no more unnecessary deaths." Commander Hange said then she flew off the roof. Clarissa and Nifa followed. They had a plan now: Make sure there is an easy way to get to the gate leading to wall Rose for an hour. It was a simple plan that would inevitably end in many deaths.

After another of titan killing, every soldier was ordered to retreat onto wall Rose. When Clarissa got there there was an upward of one-hundred soldiers along the wall. Not including the stationary guards.

The stationary guards are firing off the cannon at stray titans that are getting too close. The gate is still just lowering. No titan could get too close in the danger that they could walk through the gate and kill many people in the refugee camp.

Clarissa sat down on a crate, and took off her boot. She took the off old bandage, it was covered in dirt and messed up. Clarissa grabbed a new roll of bandages and wrapped it around her ankle. She winced at the pain. If she had to spend twenty more minutes running, or flying, around the pain would definitely be the end of her.

"Clare, that looks bad." Armin said walking up to Clarissa. Clarissa took a second to take a better look at her ankle. It was red, almost purple. Clarissa sighed and nodded as she finished wrapping the bandage around her ankle.

"It hurts more than it looks." Clarissa said pulling her boot on.

"Why don't you go see a medic?" Mikasa asked walking up to Clarissa with Eren beside her. Clarissa shrugged.

"I don't need to for right now. I am worried it is broken. But I can wait until we get down to the refugee center. There there should be medics actually prepared to deal with it." Clarissa said. Commander Hange walked up to the Clarissa and her three friends.

"Clarissa, you need to get medical help for that ankle. Go down to the refugee center. There is a cart just for military members. Go there. I am surprised you lasted so long. You three go with her." Commander Hange said. Clarissa stood up and saluted to her. Armin, Eren and Mikasa did the same.

"Yes, Ma'am." Armin said. Clarissa dropped her salute as Commander Hange walked away. Clarissa didn't say anything, she just went down to the refugee center. The snaps of wires let her know her friends were following her.

When they got down to the ground there were screaming children. Mourning parents. Blood along the streets. Either from someone lucky enough to escape the titan before they were killed, or they are covered in someone else's blood. Clarissa took special caution not to step on the dried blood over the ground. It would be disrespectful.

Clarissa found the cart for the military and she sat down on a crate around it. Someone from the Garrison regiment walked up to her with medical supplies.

"How can I help you?" She asked. Armin, Eren and Mikasa were on the other side of the road talking about something. Clarissa took her boot off to show her bandaged foot. She took off the bandage and the girl's eyes widened.

"How long has it been like this?" She asked kneeling down. Clarissa paused trying to remember when she injured it.

"About four, or five hours ago. I am not sure though." Clarissa said crossing her arms. The woman touched her ankle and she winced. The girl stood up and grabbed a pill bottle and handed Clarissa a pill.

"I think it is just sprained, but because you kept moving on it it became inflamed. So take one of these anti inflammatory meds and a pain med to hopefully lower the pain." The woman said grabbing another pill and handed it to Clarissa. She also handed Clarissa canteen. Clarissa took the pills then the woman started rebandaging her foot.

"There is nothing else I can do at this point. I do recommend once you get back to your base that you see a doctor to really check it out. I am just doing quick fixes here." The girl said then she finished wrapping the bandage around her ankle. Then she stood up and went to the next person sitting nearby. Clarissa slipped her boot back on.


	13. Chapter 13

"Clarissa Daren Ackerman," A way too familiar voice called. Clarissa winced at the name then instantly stood up placing her arms behind her back. In front of her there was a tall woman. She had long brown hair and green eyes. Her scowl was all too familiar to Clarissa.

"Yes Ma'am," Clarissa said in a shaky voice. Mikasa, Eren, and Armin turned around to watch the situation.

"What the hell are you doing in the military?!" She raised her voice. Clarissa closed her eyes and took a deep breath to settle her anger. She opened her eyes again hoping that the woman in front of her would disappear. But to no appeal she is still standing there.

"Helping humanity, Ma'am." Clarissa said trying to steady her voice. The womans eyebrows scrunched together more, if it was even possible. Eren took a step towards the two.

"Did you ask for permission?!" The woman snapped. Clarissa sighed and shook her head.

"I didn't think I would have to. I thought you were dead, you weren't there for me to ask." Clarissa said finally able to steady her voice. The woman shook her head.

"Well I am here now and I do not accept your decision. Resign immediately!" The woman yelled getting the attention of people around her. Most of them Clarissa's comrades. Armin's eyes widened and he took some steps forward.

"Unfortunately that is not your choice to make. I am of age, therefor I can make decisions myself." Clarissa said. This only made the womaner angrier.

"Clarissa Da-"

"Don't you dare use that name!" Clarissa yelled dropping her arms to her side. The woman's jaw opened slightly then she shook her head.

"Oh, does it make you feel guilty? That you killed yo-"

"You will not speak of that!" Clarissa yelled. Armin walked closer to Clarissa.

"Why? Because your incapable military friends don't know you are a cold-blooded murderer?"The woman yelled causing Armin and Eren gasp. Clarissa clenched her fists and she looked down to her feet. She took a deep breath then placed her hands behind her back again, regaining her control.

Armin, Eren, and Mikasa waiting to see what she was going to say. They mostly expected her to punch the woman. Clarissa sure did want to punch her, but she held herself from it.

"It does not come up during casual conversation, no." Clarissa said with an even voice that even surprised herself.

"Do they even know about your sisters?!" The woman yelled. Clarissa took a deep breath and looked to the ground.

"Not everyone, no." Clarissa said lowly.

"You ungrateful ch-"

"That is enough." A stern voice said. Clarissa looked up and Captain Levi was walking towards them. The woman turned to him.

"Who do you think you are choosing how I treat my daughter?!" The woman yelled. Everyone around them gasped except for Captain Levi. He kept his stoic look.

"I am her superior, she is under my command. If you have any issues with her joining the military bring it up with me." Captain Levi said. Commander Hange came around the corner and paused confused by the situation.

"Good, I want her taken out of the military!" Clarissa's mother, Mrs. Lilith said. Commander Hange's eyes widened.

"I am sorry, she is nineteen. You don't have authority over that." Captain Levi said. Clarissa looked over the small crowd. Clarissa's eyes landed on someone.

"Clarey!" The girl yelled running up to Clarissa. Clarissa ran up to the girl and pulled her into a hug. Tears started running down her cheek.

"Alina! You are alive!" Clarissa said crying into the Alina's neck. Alina was a good bit shorter than her but Clarissa made it a point to hold her as close as she could.

"Everdeen," Captain Levi called. Clarissa released the embrace and turned to Captain Levi.

"Yes sir?" Clarissa asked wiping her tear away.

"Who is this woman?" Captain Levi asked. Clarissa took a deep breath.

"My adoptive mother sir." Clarissa said. Captain Levi nodded slowly.

"And who is that?" Captain Levi asked looking back at Alina. Clarissa looked at Alina then she looked back at Captain Levi.

"My sister, step-sister." Clarissa said. Captain Levi nodded then turned around.

"They will be coming back to the base with us." Captain Levi said before he walked away. Clarissa's jaw fell open. She had no idea what Mrs. Lilith and Captain Levi were talking about, but knowing Mrs. Lilith it was probably an ultimatum saying she had to be with Clarissa.

Despite her anger Clarissa turned to Alina and grabbed her face in her hands. Clarissa looked right into her eyes. Her eyes were still as dull as they were the last Clarissa saw them. Clarissa grabbed onto Alina's wrists. Clarissa hand could wrap completely around her wrist. Clarissa looked up at Alina. Alina looked past Clarissa at the ground.

"You still aren't eating. Are you?" Clarissa asked calmly. Alina said nothing. Clarissa grabbed onto Alina's head and made it so Alina had to look into Clarissa's eyes. "You're not eating." Alina looked down to the ground and shook her head.

"No, sorry." Alina said, too softly. Clarissa closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. When Clarissa opened her eyes again she smiled.

"No need to say sorry, once we get to the military base I will make sure you get food." Clarissa said. Alina looked up at Clarissa and smiled lightly.

"Okay, who are they?" Alina asked looking past Clarissa. Clarissa turned and she was looking at Armin, Eren and Mikasa. Clarissa grabbed onto one of Alina's wrists.

"They are my friends, come meet them." Clarissa said with a smile walking up to the three. Clarissa let go of Alina's hand. "This is Alina, my younger sister." Clarissa said proudly. Armin was the first person to step forward.

"My name is Armin, it nice to meet you." Armin said shaking Alina's hand. Eren was the most surprised one. Mikasa just nodded to Alina.

"My name's Mikasa." Mikasa said. Then she looked at Eren. "That is Eren." Mikasa said because Eren wasn't going to speak. Clarissa smiled and turned to Alina.

"Eren, wipe that look off of your face and greet her. She is only a year younger than you. It shouldn't be that hard to speak with her." Clarissa said with a smile. Eren nodded and put his hand out.

"Sorry, it's nice to meet you." Alina shook his hand. Commander Hange walked up to the small group.

"Sorry to break up this party, but I need Clarissa." Commander Hange said. Clarissa turned to her and nodded. "We have to make sure the gate is closed properly!" Clarissa knew this wasn't an actual thing needed to get done. It was probably Commander Hange's way of getting information out of her. Clarissa should know this from the two weeks she spent under her watch.

Clarissa turned to Alina then she turned to Armin. "Don't let Alina out of you sight. I just got her back. If you lose her I will-Just don't lose her." Clarissa said. Armin nodded.

"Okay," Armin said. Clarissa turned to Alina. Alina nodded and smiled. Clarissa smiled back at Alina then she joined Commander Hange walking down the path towards the gate.

"I hear your mo-"

"I prefer if you don't call her by that." Clarissa said cutting her off. Commander Hange nodded.

"Okay, I heard the woman say that you killed someone. Is that correct?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa sighed and closed her eyes. When she opened her eyes Commander Hange eyes were stuck on her.

"I would be lying if I said no. But before you go any further, it was self defense." Clarissa said placing her arms behind her back. Commander Hange nodded.

"How old were you?" Commander Hange asked.

"Twelve or eleven, I can't remember. I already went to court for it, it was decided as self defense. Not to mention the fact that I was too young to be punished if was labeled as first degree murder." Clarissa said. Commander Hange smiled and laughed slightly. Clarissa squinted her eyes at her.

"It is not on your file." Commander Hange said.

"No, because you are looking under Clarissa Everdeen." Clarissa said. Commander Hange nodded as they got to the closed gate.

"What name would it be under then?" Commander Hange said looking over the gate. Way too close.

"Clarissa Daren Ackerman," Clarissa said. She grimaced hearing the name come out of her lips. Commander Hange nodded and turned to Clarissa.

"The gate looks good! Get ready for departure in half an hour!" Commander Hange said then she ran up to Captain Levi and put her arm around his shoulder. Clarissa sighed and turned back and went down the road. She got back to where her friends were. They were sitting down on crates. Armin, Eren and Alina were talking. Clarissa smiled and sat down with them. Alina stood up and ran into Clarissa's arms. Clarissa's eyes widened at the sudden movement then she embraced Alina.

"Alessandra, she-"

"I know, I knew once I didn't see her." Clarissa whispered. Alina nodded then sat down on a crate beside Clarissa. Just when Clarissa thought she was enjoying the moment Mrs. Lilith walked up to the group. As soon as she approached everyone quieted.

"Clarissa Dar-"

"Don't use that name. It is not my name anymore." Clarissa said. Mrs. Lilith shook her head in disgust and she chuckled.

"What do you mean? It is your name." Mrs. Lilith said. Clarissa stood up and walked up to her.

"My name is Clarissa Ackerman. In no way is that idiots name in my name!" Clarissa said. Mrs. Lilith laughed. Clarissa kept her deadpan expression.

"Then what about your official ID?" Mrs. Lilith asked crossing her arms. Clarissa shook her head.

"That means nothing. The military has me enlisted as Clarissa Everdeen." Clarissa said. Mrs. Lilith went to speak again but she was interrupted by Commander Erwin.

"I was informed by Captain Levi you will be staying at the base. Because of that I will need to ask you some questions." Commander Erwin said. Mrs. Lilith nodded and walked away with not as much as a glance back. Clarissa turned around and sat back down beside Alina.

"Ackerman, your last name is Ackerman?" Eren asked. Clarissa looked up and eyed him guiltily.

"Wait, they didn't know Clarey?" Alina asked. Clarissa sighed and looked to the ground. She felt like crying. She was sure she was crying. It is too much for one day. Clarissa watched many people die, her mother trash talked her friends, her secret about her name was released to everyone. It is too much.

"Clare you are crying." Armin said. Clarissa lifted her hand to her cheek. She was indeed crying.

"You are overwhelmed." Alina said. Clarissa looked over at her surprised. Then she remembered how observant Alina actually was. Her caring green eyes helped comfort Clarissa. "I am not exactly happy about having to go to a military base. You aren't happy about your secret being out. We both have problems, one thing we can agree on is that Mrs. Lilith will hate seeing you under someone else's command." Clarissa laughed slightly and nodded.

"Okay," Clarissa said then she turned to Armin, Eren and Mikasa. They were waiting for Clarissa to say something. It would make everything worse if Clarissa didn't explain anything at this point. "My real last name is Ackerman. When I joined the military I lost all of my memory for reasons I would rather not say. I took up the last name of my adoptive family: Everdeen. When I got my memory back I was worried about telling guys because I thought it would change the way you look at me."

"Why would a last name change the way we look at you?" Mikasa said. Clarissa's eyes widened. She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but this wasn't it. "Skill or personality do not alter by a simple name." Eren and Armin nodded. Mikasa was right. They was no reason to of been worried about it.

"Thank you for understanding." Clarissa said.

"Why wouldn't we?" Armin said. Clarissa shook her head and smiled.


	14. Chapter 14

When they got back to the base Commander Erwin decided for Alina and Mrs. Lilith to bunk together in a spare room. Clarissa still had no idea why they were staying at the base but Clarissa was happy that she could be close to Alina.

Clarissa tried to give Alina a pair of her casual clothes but they couldn't fit her so Commander Hange got her a pair of white jeans and a white dress shirt. She had a hard time finding her the clothes because Alina was the smallest size.

After Alina got a change of clothes and Clarissa changed out of her blood covered clothes it was time to eat. It was no particular meal time, but it had been seven or eight since everyone ate so food was being served.

"It is really cool here." Alina said as they walked down the hallway. Clarissa smiled and shrugged.

"It is when you don't have to clean every inch of it." Clarissa said. Alina hit Clarissa's shoulder.

"You enjoy it!" Alina said. Clarissa half nodded. "Anyway, what are we going to do after food?"

"I will be sleeping, I still have work in the morning." Clarissa said as they turned the corner of the hallway to get to the mess hall.

"What are you doing in the morning?" Alina asked.

"Depending on how Commander Hange is feeling I could either be doing my cleaning rounds or I could be forcing her to sleep. I can't know until the morning." Clarissa said. They turned into the mess hall. Clarissa helped Alina get food and sit down. Armin sat down across from Clarissa. Alina sat on the other side of Clarissa at the end of the table.

"Alina, eat." Clarissa said noticing Alina hadn't touched her food. Alina looked up at Clarissa and smiled.

"I am just not hungry." Alina said with a smile. Clarissa nodded knowing the truth of why she wasn't eating. Clarissa just put some food into her mouth.

"I am going to eat your food then! I haven't eaten since eight this morning." Clarissa said grabbing Alina's food. Clarissa already ate all of her food.

"Oh, you didn't have lunch. I remember now." Armin said. Clarissa nodded.

"Why didn't you have lunch?" Alina asked. Clarissa stopped eating and straightened out.

"I wanted to play the piano." Clarissa said sheepishly. Alina's eyes lit up for what felt like forever. She smiled.

"You still play? I thought you stopped when I heard you joined the military." Alina said. Clarissa shrugged.

"I didn't during training. I couldn't for one, for two I couldn't remember that I could play." Clarissa said with a shrug.

"Oh yeah, you lost your memory, right?" Alina asked. Clarissa nodded. "When did you get it back?"

"Two or three months ago, before the expedition." Clarissa said.

"That was about the time you passed out. Did getting your memory back have anything to do with that?" Eren asked. Clarissa nodded.

"Sorry for not telling you two." Clarissa said looking at Mikasa and Eren sitting across from her.

"You told Armin?" Mikasa asked. Clarissa nodded.

"I hope that doesn't bother you guys." Clarissa said.

"Why would it? Armin got to know you long before we did." Mikasa said. Clarissa nodded. Clarissa could tell Alina was feeling left out. Armin probably could too, but before he spoke Mrs. Lilith walked into the mess hall along with Commander Hange. Clarissa and Alina instantly adjusted their posture and straightened their expression. Armin went quiet out of confusion.

Mrs. Lilith looked right at Clarissa. Clarissa winced and a tear began to run down her cheek. Clarissa put her head down so no one could see her eyes. Clarissa felt horrible, she could face a titan without having any fear at all. But just one woman makes her cry from her fear. Why did she have to be so weak.

"Clare, are you oka-" Armin started.

"I'm fine, I am just not used to this anymore." Clarissa said looking up.

"What do yo-" Eren started.

"That is not something to talk about with her. There is a reason she left behind her past when she joined the military." Alina said. Eren paused with his mouth opened.

"Clari-"

"She is right. You don't have to ask me for confirmation." Clarissa said taking another spoonful of food. Eren nodded then looked back down to his food. Commander Hange walked up to the table and everyone at the long table looked up at her.

"Hello! You are Alina, right?" Commander Hange asked Alina. Alina nodded, Commander Hange smiled.

"Come with me, we have things to do!" Commander Hange said. Alina looked over to me confused.

"Go, if you go missing I know where to find you." Clarissa said. Alina nodded and stood up. Commander Hange and Alina walked out of the mess hall talking to each other.

"Why would Commander Hange want to talk with Alina?" Armin asked. Clarissa piled up Alina's empty plate and her own.

"Commander Hange was talking with Mrs. Lilith too. I have an idea on what it is about, but if you really want to know ask Alina. She will know if she can trust to tell you." Clarissa said standing up. "Just don't feel upset if she won't tell you. She has some trust issues." The three in front of her nodded. Clarissa put the dishes on a counter to be cleaned then she turned and walked out of the mess hall.

She should head to bed, but first she is going to try and figure out what Commander Hange was talking about. Clarissa stood outside of Commander Hange's office knowing that her and Alina were in there. It took about twenty minutes but the door finally opened. Commander Hange and Alina came walking out.

"Oh, how can I help you Clarissa?" Commander Hange asked.

"I need to speak with you." Clarissa said. Commander Hange nodded and looked over at Alina.

"You know the way to the room you are staying in, right?" Commander Hange asked. Alina shrugged.

"I know my way to the mess hall. I will ask one of Clarissa's friends to help." Alina said. Commander Hange nodded.

"See you in the morning." Clarissa said with a smile. Alina smiled and nodded.

"See ya!" Alina said then she walked away down the hallway. Commander Hange walked out of the way for Clarissa to walk into her office. One in her office Commander Hange sat behind the desk. Clarissa sat down in a chair in front of it. The desk was covered in books open to specific pages that had writing all over them.

"What do you want to speak with me about?" Commander Hange asked cleaning up some books so that she could actually see Clarissa.

"What have you been speaking to Mrs. Lilith and Alina about?" Clarissa asked. Commander Hange sighed. This was definitely a bad sign. It was a serious enough topic for Commander Hange not to be herself.

"I don't really want to speak about it yet." Commander Hange said. Her words send a shiver down her spine.

"What do you mean?" Clarissa sked moving to the edge of the seat. Commander Hange looked down at her hands that were sitting folded on the table.

"I don't want to tell you. It has already been a busy day for you." Commander Hange said. Clarissa shook her head.

"Nothing can make this day worse, it can only get better." Clarissa said. Commander Hange nodded slowly.

"Okay," Commander Hange said. Clarissa nodded. Why would she be so cautious about it. "I believe there is a warrant out for your arrest." Clarissa heart dropped. She froze, nothing would prepare her for this. What is she being convicted of? Why does Commander Hange only _think_ there is a warrant out for her arrest.

"What?" Clarissa said. It was the only thing she was able to say. Nothing else would come out.

"There is a warrant out for the arrest of Clarissa Daren Ackerman." Commander Hange said slowly. Like she was talking to a child. Clarissa looked down at her hands in her lap and shook her head.

"No… No…" Clarissa muttered to herself. She took a deep breath then looked up at Commander Hange. "What is it for?"

"Again, I am sorry. It is for first degree murder of Alessandra Everdeen." Clarissa stood up as fast as humanly possible. Clarissa took a step forward and hit her hands on Commander Hange's desk. Commander Hange didn't do as much as flinch. She just leaned back in her chair. Like she expected this reaction. She probably did.

"What the hell! Why would I even do that, I protected her!" Clarissa yelled. Commander Hange kept completely still.

"I am sorry, but now the Survey Corps has enough evidence that you are Clarissa Daren Ackerman, that we have to arrest you." Commander Hange said calmly. Clarissa started pacing around Commander Hange's office.

"What- What is going to happen now?! I go to jail for something I didn't do?! Be forced to be under a twenty-four hour watch by you?! Tell me, what happens next?!" Clarissa yelled. Commander Hange stood up cautiously.

"For now, I will talk with Erwin about this to confirm my information. That gives you another day. Then after that we may have to arrest you and bring you into the capital city for a trial." Commander Hange said so calmly Clarissa wasn't sure she heard it right. But she knew she did so she just nodded slowly.

"Okay, so I at least have a day until I am arrested?" Clarissa asked. Commander Hange nodded.

"Correct, again I am sorry. I tried super hard to find information that would clear you of suspicion, but everytime I asked someone a question it confirmed it even more." Commander Hange said. Clarissa nodded and turned to the door.

"May I leave?" Clarissa asked. Commander Hange nodded.

"Just please don't cause a scene tomorrow if we have to arrest you." Commander Hange said. Clarissa nodded.

"I don't plan on it." Clarissa said then she walked out of the office. Once she was in the hall she burst into tears. She ran to her room and locked herself in. She sat down on her bed and held her head as tears fell onto her jeans. She took a deep breath then she heard a knock at her door.

"Clarissa, I heard you crying. Is everything alright?" Sasha called from the other side of the door. Clarissa forgot that Sasha had the room right beside her. Clarissa walked to the door and opened it. When she opened it her tears were still running down her cheeks.

"Are you okay?" Sasha asked once she noticed completely that Clarissa was in fact crying.

"No, do you know where Armin is?" Clarissa asked wiping her tears. Sasha nodded.

"The last I saw him he was talking to a girl and they were going to the formal living room upstairs. From what I heard." Sasha said. Clarissa nodded and left her room then she ran up the stairs to the second floor. When she got to the top of the stairs she could hear the piano playing. She didn't care, she kept running down the hall and she walked into the formal living room. Alina turned around from the piano and Armin stood from the couch.

"Alina, what did Commander Hange ask you?!" Clarissa asked with tears still running down her cheeks. Alina stood up and her eyes began to tear up.

"Just your real name and your relationship with Alessandra, why?" Alina asked trying to hide the fact that she was about to cry.

"You didn't find that suspicious at all?!" Clarissa asked. Alina shook her head.

"No, please, where are you going with this?" Alina asked. Clarissa ran her hand through her hair and sighed.

"There is a warrant out for my arrest for murdering Allessandra. How the hell did she die?!" Clarissa yelled running up to Alina. Armin grabbed onto Clarissa's arm to stop her from getting close to Alina.

"She was picked up and eaten by a titan. I saw it there was no way for her to of been murdered other than by those idiot titans!" Alina yelled. Clarissa stopped trying to run at Alina. Clarissa fell a step backwards. The last time Clarissa got this mad around Alina someone died. Clarissa had to remember to calm herself. She took a deep breath and stopped herself from crying,

"Okay… Okay…" Clarissa said stopping herself from crying. Alina nodded and crossed her arms protectively. "What am I supposed to do?"

Alina smiled, "Music," Alina suggested. Clarissa raised her eyebrow.

"What?" Clarissa asked, she instantly stopped crying.

"There is a guitar." Alina said motioning to a guitar sitting on a stand in the corner of the room.

"This is no time for music." Clarissa said crossing her arms.

"You never listened to me when I told you that." Alina said grabbing the guitar. She handed it to Clarissa. Clarissa looked down at the guitar then sat down on the couch. Armin sat down on a chair in a corner of the room.

"What song?" Clarissa asked. Alina sat down beside Clarissa.

"Remember the last one you wrote?" Alina asked. Clarissa nodded.

"How could I forget." Clarissa said then she started to strum on the guitar. She had to tune it a bit but then both of them started singing together. In the middle of the song Eren and Mikasa walked into the room. Clarissa almost stopped playing but Alina was so happy Clarissa couldn't bring herself to stop.

Once they stopped singing Clarissa looked over at Eren. "Pay up," Clarissa said putting out her hand. Eren squinted his eyes.

"What?" He asked.

"I need money, I have to run from the MP's." Clarissa said with a smirk. Eren looked over at Armin for an answer. He just shrugged.

"Really?" Eren asked. Clarissa laughed a little. Eren smiled.

"I am only half serious. I guess this is a way of saying I am wanted for murder!" Clarissa said throwing her hands in the air.

"What?!" Mikasa and Eren said at the same time.

"Apparently I am wanted for the murder of my younger sister. I am pretty sure I know who convicted me, but that is not the point." Clarissa stood up and handed the guitar to Alina. "Here is a formal invitation to come to my trial and prove me not guilty." Mikasa nodded. Eren just stared at her.

"Are you serious?!" Eren asked.

"Uhm, yes. So get ready to say I am not guilty of murder!" Clarissa said with a smile.

"You are turning into Commander Hange…" Eren said. Alina shook her head and stood up.

"Nope, this is just the way she acts when she is overly stressed." Clarissa turned around and hit Alina's shoulder playfully.


	15. Chapter 15

The door to the mess hall opened and Commander Hange along with two Military Police walked in. Clarissa sighed and set down her spoon. She knew that they were there after her. Commander Hange walked up to the table followed by the two Military Police. Clarissa stood up when Commander Hange looked at her. Everyone in the dining hall was watching the interaction.

"Clarissa Daren Ackerman, you are under arrest for murder of four year old Alessandra Everdeen." One of the Military Police said putting handcuffs around Clarissa's wrists. The whole of the mess hall was quiet watching the situation.

"So much for not making a scene." Clarissa says with a small laugh.

"Do you have any weapons on you?" The Military Police asked again. Clarissa sighed.

"I have a switchblade in my right boot." Clarissa said sheepishly.

"We will have to take it." The other officer said. Clarissa lifted her foot. They took off the boot and pulled out the switchblade then put the boot back on. Commander Hange looked surprised.

"How long have you had that?" Commander Hange asked with a smile. She had no sense of right timing.

"Since training, could we please just get me out of here." Clarissa said. One of the Military Police grabbed onto Clarissa's bicep.

"See you Clare," Alina said as they walked off. The two Military Police, Commander Hange, and now Captain Levi followed Clarissa out of the base. A carriage was waiting outside. The first Military Police walked up in the carriage and sat down.

"We will get notified of your trial date. We will be there." Commander Hange said. Clarissa nodded and the other Military Police pulled Clarissa into the Carriage. Clarissa sat down and looked out the window as they drove off. Clarissa looked at the two Military Police. They were trying to avoid eye contact and had a frown. One of them was holding his gun so tight his fists turned white.

They were scared of her.

"You guys are just my transport, right?" Clarissa asked startling them both. The one that seemed less scared nodded. They are just transporting her, they didn't have any actual information other then the baseline charge. That would explain their worry. Clarissa looked out the window the rest of the ride.

The dirt roads that were normally vacant had one or two people walking along them. Probably on their way to try and find a place to live after they were forced to leave Trost. Clarissa went to brush her hair out of her eyes but her hands were weighed down by the chains around her wrists. When she moved the more nervous one flinched.

_He is supposed to be top of her year?_ Clarissa thought. She refrained from smiling or laughing. Clarissa took a deep breath and reminded herself that she would act the same around a child murder. If they actually were one.

They began to go down the roads of Sina. Clarissa smiled as she looked over the scenery. The fields were a rich green, littered with flowers. They were in the small area of the outward towns and getting to Mitras-the capital. The further in they get the more beautiful and scenic the view was.

They pulled up in front of a large courthouse. Maybe they are doing the trial sooner than later. Hopefully, because Clarissa had a job, and this was in her way.

The less nervous Military office stood up and opened the door. Then Clarissa crawled out of the carriage with no help. The Military Police grab onto her bicep. The other Military Police climb out of the carriage and grab onto Clarissa's other bicep. Then they proceed to walk her through the large hall and down some stairs. Then they put her into a cell and take off her cuffs.

"Someone will be down when they get information on your trial." One of the Military Police says. Clarissa nodded and sat down on the old bed in the middle of the room. The Military Police walk up the stairs.

"Disgusting," One of the guards mutter. Clarissa took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Clarissa had to admit she would act the exact same under their circumstances, but she still felt horrible. There is no evidence, at all, of her murdering Alessandra. Clarissa laid down in the hard bed and fell asleep. The night before she had no sleep at all, she was too worried about being arrested.

She was exhausted, her ankle hurt, she had a headache. There was so much to worry about. But she was in a cell. No place for her to anything but wait. And waiting involves sleeping.

After twelve or thirteen hours of sleep Clarissa sits up to a sore back. Her headache was not any better. Clarissa stood up and limped towards the bars. "Excuse me," Clarissa said. One of the guards turned around and scoffed.

"What?" He asked.

"I injured my ankle in Trost a day, or whatever ago, and the medics told me I needed to see a doctor about it. I have yet to do that." Clarissa said. The guard sighed and nodded.

"I will go tell the Commander." He said then he walked up the stairs leaving a young looking soldier guarding her alone. The girl was shaking. Clarissa sighed and pulled her hands away from the bar. Then Clarissa sat back down on the bed.

An hour or two later a doctor comes in and gives Clarissa more pain meds and anti inflammatory meds, then he told her to keep her foot up. He actual treated her like she wasn't a cold blooded murdered. Clarissa was thankful for that ten minutes.

Clarissa fell asleep again out of boredom. When she woke, she was woken to two Military Police on the other side of the bars. "Clarissa, your trial is starting. You are needed." She said. Clarissa nodded and walked up to the bars. The woman let her out then put the cuffs on her. They walked through the same halls again then they brought her into the courtroom.

There were people from the Survey Corps and random people of the jury. As well as Mrs. Lilith and Alina. Clarissa was told to go to the middle of the room. So she did. Some random guy walked in front of the courtroom.

"State your full name for the file." The guy said in a low monotone voice.

Clarissa swallowed a lump in her throat then she spoke. "Clarissa Daren Ackerman," The man nodded, satisfied, then he walked away. Another man stood up and looked over papers in his hand.

"Are you aware that you are here for murder of your four year old sister Alessandra Everdeen?" He asked. Clarissa nodded. "How do you plead?" Clarissa took a deep breath.

"Not guilty," Clarissa said. The man nodded and walked away. Another man stood up and faced Clarissa.

"Where were you when Shiganshina was broken into by the titans?" He asked. Clarissa took another deep breath.

"I was in wall Maria buying bread from a small farm." Clarissa said. She felt very exposed standing in the middle of a courtroom telling everyone everything. There were lots of Survey Corps higher ups. There were Mikasa, Eren, and Armin. The man nodded.

"Who is the owner of the farm?" He asked. Clarissa shrugged.

"I don't know. There is no way to tell who he is, he died sacrificing himself so I could escape." Clarissa said slowly, regretting every word. She absolutely _hated _being this vulnerable.

"Who is able to support your alibi?" He asked. Clarissa swallowed a lump in her throat.

"Alina, she was there when I left. As well as Alessandra." Clarissa said closing her eyes. The man nodded and he looked over to someone. Clarissa opened her eyes to see Alina standing up.

"Is that statement correct? Were you there when Clarissa left for wall Maria?" He asked.

"Yes, both Alessandra and I were there." Alina said. The man nodded.

"Is that the last time you saw her?" He asked. Alina nodded.

"That was the last time I saw her before Trost." Alina said. The man nodded.

"Was Alessandra alive when Clarissa left?" he asked.

"Yes," Alina said. The man nodded.

"Then how did she die?" He asked. Clarissa's heart dropped. The question was inevitable but it is still startling when it came.

"She… She… I-"

"Could we not go into that? She was eight!" Clarissa said. The man turned to her and sighed.

"Are you trying to stop her from saying anything?" The man asked. Clarissa shook her head.

"No, from what I know Alessandra died from being eaten by a titan. From what I have experienced seeing a titan alone is traumatizing! Let alone watching your sister being eaten!" Clarissa yelled. The man shook his head.

"She still has to answer." He said then he turned back over to Alina. "How did she die?" He asked again. Clarissa closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"We were a couple blocks away from the wall Maria gate. Alessandra fell, I tried to go back and get her, but…" Alina trailed off. Clarissa winced then opened her eyes. She looked straight at Alina. A tear was running down her cheek as she stared blankly past the man in front of her. Clarissa knew what was happening, she was having flashback. There were many soldiers that this happened to. They saw the horror of the titans, then they got PTSD. The same thing was happening to Alina. The tears started to run faster.

Clarissa made a split second decision. She ran up to Alina, she had to jump over the railing seperating the Survey Corps from Clarissa. Many guards were running after her. Clarissa got up to Alina and grabbed onto her hands before any guard could touch her. One of the guards went to grab onto Clarissa but once they saw what is happening they restrain themselves.

Alina started to shake. Clarissa squeezed her hands. "Alina, it's okay. I am here, don't worry." Clarissa said calmly. Commander Hange walked forward from the back of the crowd of the higher ups.

Clarissa got a better look at Alina's face. Her eyes were glazed over, she was definitely not looking at something in this room. Suddenly Alina pulled her hand away Clarissa and she screamed at the top of her lungs. She was back.

"Clarissa, why weren't you there! Aley was calling for you! You weren't there! Where the hell were you?!" Alina yelled. Then she noticed where she was. Her face turned red and she sunk to the ground. Clarissa knelt down beside her, Commander Hange did the same. Clarissa had watched Commander Hange deal with soldiers that have PTSD before. She knew exactly what to do.

"Alina," Commander Hange said. Clarissa stood up and looked around at the guards around her. She put her hands out.

"One of you have the key, I need the cuffs off. I have to help her." Clarissa said. All the guards looked between each other then one stepped forward and took the handcuffs off of Clarissa. Clarissa turned around and knelt back down by Alina.

"Sorry," Alina said between her cries putting her hands over her head.

"Why should you be sorry? I don't know exactly what you saw but I know it wasn't nice. Just remember, you are here now." Clarissa said pulling Alina into a hug.

"Let's call a brief recess, you guys have ten minutes." The judge said then he stood up and left the room. Clarissa sighed and held onto Alina. During all of that, Mrs. Lilith didn't move an inch.


	16. Chapter 16

"Now that we have finished our break I would like to question Section Commander Hange." The man said. Commander Hange was sitting on the stand. Clarissa was once again standing in the center of the room with handcuffs on.

"To start off, you spent two full weeks questioning Clarissa for having a suspicious history. What was the main point that was putting up red flags that lead to the questioning?" He asked. Clarissa watched curious of what she was going to say. Clarissa knew the base of why, but not completely.

"Yes, Commander Erwin was looking through the files of the new recruits. Clarissa's stood out because in the file said she was born in wall Sina and adopted by a family in Shiganshina. When he looked deeper into it there was no paperwork showing it." Commander Hange said. Clarissa knew this, it was simple to understand that,

"She was enlisted under 'Clarissa Everdeen', correct?" Commander Hange nodded. "At what point did you learn about her last name being Ackerman?" Clarissa took in a deep breath and looked down at the ground.

"It was during the last week, her and I were in the kitchen. I asked her about her last name, and she just told me." Commander Hange said.

"Was there anything suspicious about that?" The man asked crossing his arms. Commander Hange shook her head.

"Not really, when I first started talking with her I knew she had large memory problems and she had no recollection of her past. Within the first twenty minutes of speaking with her she told me that she was gaining some of her memories back. When she told me her last name was Ackerman, I took it as her just getting her memory back." Commander Hange said. Clarissa nodded to herself. Of course Commander Hange was right.

"What are the things she told you about her past?" He asked. Commander Hange took a moment to think. She probably had it fresh in her mind, she was just stalling.

"That she had memories of two little girls. One day I heard screams coming from her room, I went to her room and she distraught. She was crying and yelling about having to help someone. Then she told me one of the girls were laying at the bottom of a set of stairs extremely injured. I assume it was either Alina or Alessandra. During that, she also mentioned a Mrs. Lilith. She had no idea who she was." Commander Hange said. Clarissa looked over at Alina. Alina was staring right at her, her eyes widened.

"Was she genuinely stunned?" He asked.

"Of course, to her there was a girl from her past that was severely injured. She had no idea if they lived, or died. Anyone would be pained to see that without any context." Commander Hange said. The man nodded.

"What is your overall impression of Clarissa, during those two weeks?" He asked. Commander Hange took time answering that. Clarissa had no idea what she would say. Clarissa had changed a large amount from those two weeks to now. Her impression of Clarissa then might have changed.

"The first two weeks I met her, she was a model soldier. Following every order, doing more than she was expected. Quiet, non-personal, rarely ever spoke." Commander Hange said. Clarissa nodded, all of it was true.

"Was?" He asked. Commander Hange nodded.

"Yes, a little before the expedition and after it she was more sociable, more joyful. She still follows every order. Every single order, no matter the situation." Commander Hange said with a smile. Clarissa couldn't help but smile.

"In your mind, what happened?" He asked. Commander Hange shrugged.

"I have no idea, but it was a good change." Commander Hange said. The man nodded took some time to think.

"When do you think she got her memories back? Because she has all of them now." The man said. Clarissa watched, it was all she could do. Does Commander Hange know when she got her past back?

"I don't know, I think it was sometime around when she passed out. After it more of her personality started coming out, very subtly." Commander Hange said. She looked over at Clarissa. Clarissa nodded confirming her thoughts. Commander Hange smiled with satisfaction.

"Would she be able to kill a child?" The man asked. Commander Hange's eyes widened, and half of the crowd gasped. Everyone that knew Clarissa.

"Before she got her past back, or after?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa watched with her eyes widened.

"After, that would be like she was in the past after all." The man asked. Commander Hange nodded.

"Absolutely no way she would even make a child cry. When we were at Trost the day the wall was broken through I asked her to buy me a notebook because I forgot mine. On her way she ran into a child. She had a conversation with her, even though it was in her way of completing an order." Commander Hange said. Clarissa's jaw opened slightly.

"You were watching me?" Clarissa blurted out. Commander Hange shrugged.

"I wanted my notebook." Commander Hange said sheepishly.

"This is my last question." The man said. Commander Hange looked back over at him. "Do you think Clarissa killed Alessandra?"

"No, not in one million years." Commander Hange said. Clarissa looked down at her feet in silence. There was nothing to do, either she was going to be charged with murder she didn't do. Or walk away from it with every Survey Corps higher up knowing more about Clarissa than they needed to. Clarissa thought that the only reason Mikasa, Eren, and Armin were there was to embarrass her.

Commander Hange got off of the stands. The man stood back up in front of Clarissa. Clarissa was ready for many more questions to be asked, but instead he stayed quiet. The judge spoke instead.

"I have enough evidence to declare Clarissa Daren Ackerman not guilty." He said. Clarissa smiled and nodded. A guard walked up to Clarissa and unlocked her handcuffs. Then she took the handcuffs and walked up to where Mrs. Lilith was standing.

"Lilith Everdeen, you are under arrest for suggested child neglect." She said, Mrs. Lilith staggered back a step. She looked around.

"No, no! This isn't right! None of this! Clarissa killed Alessandra, she was jealous!" Mrs. Lilith yelled holding her hands close to her body so the Military Police couldn't get to them. No one spoke, but instead more Military Police walked up to her and put handcuffs on her.

Clarissa looked over to the judge for an answer. He just looked at Mrs. Lilith as they hauled her out of the courtroom. Alina walked up to Clarissa. Clarissa pulled her into a hug. "I am sorry, I filed the report on Mrs. Lilith. I hope you don't mind." Alina whispered letting go.

"I am thankful for it. Now I am just wondering where you are going to stay." Clarissa said with a smile. Armin, Eren, and Mikasa walked up to Clarissa as the whole jury began to leave the room.

"Everdeen, your sister can stay at the base until she finds a place to stay." Commander Erwin said walking up to the small group. Armin, Eren, Mikasa, and Clarissa all saluted to him. Alina shuffled self consciously.

"Really?" Alina asked. Commander Erwin nodded. "Thank you sir!"

"No problem, you will have to do your part in cleaning, of course." Commander Erwin said. Alina nodded.

"I wouldn't expect anything different!" Alina said smiling. Clarissa put her arm around Alina's shoulder and pulled her close.

"We will be leaving in ten minutes." Commander Erwin said before he walked off to talk with Commander Hange.

"I get to stay with you!" Alina said then she hugged Clarissa. Clarissa nodded as she held Alina close. After everything, Alina is just happy to be with Clarissa. She isn't even in the slightest worried about the mother that just got hauled away. Clarissa still had no idea what happened within those six years. A lot can happen in six years. A lot.

They went back to the base, Clarissa and Alina both rode in the carriage while the rest of the soldiers rode on horses. When they got to the base it was a day off. So Clarissa changed into her casual clothes. A floor length white skirt, a maroon dress shirt and black combat boots.

Alina was still in her white jeans and white shirt. She was promised a trip to Urmich, one of the districts outside of wall Sina, by Nanaba, one of the higher ups. They would go out right after lunch. Apparently Clarissa's trial was set for eight in the morning. Leaving half an hour until lunch.

As soon as Clarissa changed she walked to Commander Hange's office. She knocked on the door. "Come in!" Commander Hange called from the other side of the door. Clarissa entered the room and Commander Hange looked up from her book. "Clarissa! What can I do for you?"

"I would like to apologize for taking up your time this morning." Clarissa said closing the door as she furthered into the room. Commander Hange smiled.

"If you are sorry enough, then help me find a book! I can't seem to find it." Commander Hange said. Clarissa nodded.

"What book?" Clarissa asked walking up to her desk.

"It is a book on the current noble families, and clans. I think it is in the library, because it is newer!" Commander Hange said with a smile. Clarissa nodded.

"Okay, I will go get it." Clarissa said. She turned around and left the room.

"Thank you!" Commander Hange called from her desk as Clarissa closed the door behind her. Clarissa walked down the hall to the library. Yes, today was a day off, and yes Clarissa had time to do whatever she wanted to. But she would rather work, Alina is spending some time with Eren and Mikasa. Armin is doing whatever he does, Clarissa's only goal is to keep herself busy, and that involves helping out Commander Hange.

Clarissa walked into the library and was greeted by six people looking over at her. She walked over to the wall of history book, and the section that had the books on all the noble families. The eyes of all the six people were on her. Clarissa couldn't be upset, they did just see her get arrested for murder a day ago. Anyone would get weird looks. Some of them were whispering to each other. It wasn't that hard to hear what they were saying.

"She was arrested for murder, why is she back already? Should we run?" One of them said.

"She acted so calm when she was arrested, did she actually murder that girl then? She was prepared." Another one of them said. Clarissa took a deep breath then she grabbed onto a book on the powerful clans of the current time. The door to the library opened and Armin came walking in. He walked right up to Clarissa.

"I ran into Commander Erwin, he told me to give you this." Armin said holding out her switchblade. Clarissa took with a smile.

"Thank you," Clarissa said then she looked back at the wall of books.

"What are you looking for?" Armin asked. Clarissa grabbed another book of rarest clans of the current time.

"Commander Hange asked for books on noble families and clans of the current time." Clarissa said putting the switchblade away in her right boot.

"It is a day off, why don't you take it?" Armin asked. Clarissa shrugged and grabbed a book of of the noble families.

"This day started off with me in a courtroom. I don't think that means I got a day off, I am fine." Clarissa said.

"Maybe she should've stayed in court." Someone behind Clarissa said. Clarissa turned around to look at the group of six people.

"Who said that?" Clarissa asked looking over the people. No one answered, obviously, but they all looked up at her. "Don't talk unless you know what actually happened. I was convicted by my mother, at the end of it she was arrested. You can guess what happened during that trial, but no matter what you guess it won't be right." Clarissa took a deep breath. "If you are scared of me then you should rethink your career choice." Clarissa said then she walked out of the library. Armin followed quickly after her.

"Where are you going?" Armin asked as he followed Clarissa. Clarissa was power walking down the hallway. Almost running.

"To bring Commander Hange her books." Clarissa said turning around the corner. She slowed down once she was in the hallway that Commander Hange's office was in. Commander Erwin was outside of her office. He looked over at Clarissa once he heard footsteps.

"Isn't it your day off?" Commander Erwin asked as Clarissa and Armin approached. Armin saluted, but Clarissa didn't because her hands were full with books.

"Yes sir, but I prefer to help around if I have nothing else to do." Clarissa said with a smile. Commander Erwin nodded and walked into Commander Hange's office. Clarissa followed. Commander Hange stood up from her desk and was only looking at Clarissa and the books in her hand.

"My books, thank you!" Commander Hange said. Clarissa walked up to Commander Hange and set the small stack of books in her hand. Then Clarissa saluted once her hands were free. Commander Hange looked over the books then she looked up at Clarissa satisfied with what books she has in her hand.

"Now go do something for yourself, I have to talk with Erwin." Commander Hange said turning around and placing the books on her already book covered desk. Clarissa turned around and walked out of the room. Armin was waiting for her in the hallway. Behind her Commander Erwin closed the door.

"What are we going to do now?" Armin asked. Clarissa looked up and down the hallway then she landed on one direction.

"To find my sister, wherever she is." Clarissa said walking down the hallway. Armin followed beside her.

"Where do you think he is?" Armin asked. Clarissa shrugged and looked over at him.

"Where would Mikasa and Eren be? Alina wanted to spend time with them." Clarissa said. Armin nodded.

"They are probably in the mess hall or on the training field." Armin said. Clarissa nodded and started walking to the mess hall. Clarissa walked into the mess hall and there were many people sitting around at tables playing cards, or just talking. In the back of the mess hall Eren, Mikasa and Alina were sitting talking to each other. Clarissa walked back to the table and sat down beside Alina. Mikasa and Eren were sitting across from them.

"What were you doing?" Alina asked. Armin sat down beside Eren.

"Helping out Commander Hange, she needed some books and I was free. What have you guys been doing" Clarissa asked. Eren and Mikasa looked between each other then they looked at Alina. Clarissa's eyebrows scrunched together. "Alina?"

"We were talking about what I was going to do once I got to shop." Alina said with a smile. Clarissa nodded. She did not believe her one bit.

"Yeah, okay. We are in charge of getting the dishes ready, correct?" Clarissa asked standing. Eren and Mikasa nodded.


	17. Chapter 17

Clarissa was walking down the hallway when she ran into Nanaba. "Hey, you're back already! Do you know where Alina is?" Clarissa asked. Nanaba raised her eyebrow.

"She didn't tell you?" She asked. Clarissa crossed her arms and shook her head.

"No, tell me what?" Clarissa asked. Nanaba looked around cautiously then she looked back at Clarissa.

"Maybe you should ask your friends." Nanaba said before she walked off. Clarissa sighed and turned around to find her friends. Where was Alina? What wasn't she telling Clarissa? Clarissa walked around for a little until she found Eren and Mikasa walking in the hallway.

"Eren, Mikasa," Clarissa said walking up behind them. They both turn around to look at Clarissa.

"Yeah?" Eren asked with a shaky voice. Clarissa sighed.

"Where is Alina?" Clarissa asked. Mikasa and Eren looked between each other. "Tell me,"

"She doesn't want us to tell you." Eren said. Clarissa smiled and shook her head.

"Tell me what?" Clarissa asked. Mikasa sighed and looked right at Clarissa.

"Alina joined the military. She left for the training camp already." Mikasa said. Clarissa's heart dropped. She froze. She couldn't move, or speak. Clarissa raised her eyebrow.

"What?" Clarissa managed to get out. Eren nodded.

"She told us she as already enlisted before what happened at Trost. She didn't want to tell you. She didn't want to worry you." Eren said. Clarissa laughed nervously.

"You didn't think to mention that it would worry me more not knowing!?" Clarissa yelled. Mikasa nodded.

"I told her, but she wouldn't listen." Mikasa said. Clarissa nodded slowly and she looked down to the ground.

"Did she say anything about why she joined?" Clarissa asked still looking at the ground.

"No, just that she did before she knew you were even alive." Mikasa said. Clarissa looked up. Clarissa knew exactly why Alina joined. It wasn't hard to put the pieces together, her mother got arrested for child neglect. She didn't care about her mother when she did. She joined the military. Anyone could see that she was joining to get away from her mother. But she was away, she was with Clarissa. Maybe she felt like she couldn't drop out.

"Just…." Clarissa took a deep breath. "Tell me she was prepared." Clarissa said. Mikasa and Eren nodded.

"She knew what she was getting into. We tried to warn her about the danger. But she already knew." Eren said. Clarissa nodded. She felt tears were about to fall. She just got her sister back, then she left. Clarissa wasn't even able to say goodbye. She is just gone.

"I... I need some time to process this." Clarissa said walking past them down the hallway. She walked outside and kneeled down in the fields of flowers. Clarissa picked up one of the flowers.

A breeze came along and pulled it out of her hand. Clarissa brought her knees up to her chest as she looked over the fields. The endless fields, that might have gone further if the large wall wasn't in the way. The wall that kept humanity safe. That kept everyone Clarissa knew safe. Everyone that wasn't stupid enough to join the military. Especially not stupid enough to join the Survey Corps! Clarissa knew that no matter what Alina would chose the Survey Corps.

And it is all because of Clarissa. She blamed herself for it. All of it. If Clarissa never left her house that day to get bread maybe Alessandra would still be alive. Maybe they wouldn't of gotten separated. If they never got separated, maybe Alina never would of joined the military. And if Alina never joined the military, she would never be so close to joining the Survey Corps and going outside the walls and getting murdered.

Clarissa laid back and looked up at the sky. "Hey Clarissa, Eren told me that Alina joined the military." Armin said walking up to Clarissa. Clarissa looked over at watched as he approached.

"Yep, my baby sister that is scared of a scrape on her knee joined the military!" Clarissa said sarcastically. Armin sat down beside Clarissa. Then she sat up and pulled her knees to her chest again.

"She could join the MP's." Armin said. Clarissa sighed and smiled.

"Yeah right, maybe she would of if I was dead. But now she knows I am here, so she will, without doubt, join the Survey Corps." Clarissa said with a smirk.

"You can never know." Armin said with a smile. Clarissa raised her eyebrow and looked over at him.

"I have known her for eight years, well more, but only eight that I have actually spent with her, and during those eight years she always followed me. No matter what. She followed me." Clarissa said then she looked back at the fields. "Maybe I should transfer to the MP's, then she would follow me." Clarissa sighed, "But then I wouldn't be with my friends… maybe I should just... nope."

"So… you're stuck." Armin said. Clarissa nodded and waved her finger in the hair.

"I am stuck." Clarissa said with a smile.

"What are you going to do?" Armin asked. Clarissa shook her head.

"Wait... wait until my sister decides to follow me to the deadliest career path imaginable. Then watch as she dies!" Clarissa said, then she looked back over at Armin. "No offence to your career choice."

"None taken," Armin said. Clarissa nodded and picked up another flower. Then she twirled it between her fingers.

"I am offended by myself. So don't feel bad if you are offended." Clarissa said smelling the flower.

"It is hard to be offended when everyone says it." Armin said. Clarissa nodded as she stared at the flower.

"If you think that way you won't get anywhere in life. Or you don't have true passions, and I know you do. I am just not sure what they are." Clarissa said. Armin nodded and looked out to the fields.

"I want to see the outside world. Like really see it, not just the small part that we see on expeditions." Armin said. Clarissa raised her eyebrows and looked over at him. He was smiling, his eyes sparkling, he was truly excited about it.

"Do you know anything about the outside? Y'know, like what the Survey Corps haven't seen?" Clarissa asked straightening her legs out.

"Yeah, my Grandfather had books on the outside worlds. There are bodies of water that are full of salt that are so big that no merchant could ever get all of it!" Armin said with a smile. Clarissa smiled.

"Really?" Clarissa asked. Armin nodded. "That is so cool! I wouldn't mind seeing it."

"Hopefully I can see it too!" Armin said with a smile. Clarissa nodded and looked out at the fields once more. Clarissa had a lump in her throat with words that she wanted to say. But she couldn't say anything. Clarissa stood up.

"I am going on a walk. I will be back at the base by supper." Clarissa said as Armin stood up. He nodded then Clarissa turned around and started walking down the dirt road that lead through a small forest.

The trees in this forest, unlike the one in wall Maria, are smaller. The thought of it being easy to maneuver through was a thought at the front of Clarissa's mind. Once Clarissa got her memory she always wondered on how she was actually able to handle training. Yes, she had been through some shit, but nowhere in her mind she thought she was able to deal with willingly facing death. When she was younger, she faced death everyday, it was her dream for her and her sisters not have to worry about dying everyday.

But for some reason, Mrs. Lilith was the only one surprised about Clarissa being in the military. Alina was not shocked one bit. Maybe Clarissa was the type to join the military. She had already lived through an expedition and the fall of Trost. That is more than most people can say. Maybe part of being afraid of dying everyday when she was younger helped her not being afraid of titans. Of course she feared the idea of them, giant humanoid creatures that enjoy eating humans, but Clarissa was actually not scared of them killing her. Mostly it was because Clarissa knew she had the training to kill them. Just like how she knew she was able to kill her father if the need arised. And it did, and Clarissa dealt with it. Maybe with not as much finesse as she had now, but was still did it.

The more Clarissa thought about it the more she figured that she was built for the military. She just never wanted to believe it, because she would have to leave her sisters. But now Alessandra is dead, and Alina is training to join the military. There is no one to stay behind and protect.

That frightened her.

After an hour of walking Clarissa found a small trail leading into the forest. It wasn't exactly a trail, but it was a worn path. Clarissa followed the small worn path into the forest. She rested her hands in the pockets of her white skirt. It was about two hours until supper, from Clarissa's estimate. That gave her enough time to see where this trail went and to get back.

The further down the path Clarissa heard the sound of burbling water. Clarissa went further down the path and she ran into a small stream. It was no longer that five feet across. Clarissa sat down beside the river and leaned up against a tree. She was close enough to the river to put her hands in the water. She did that.

The water was cold, but not too cold. Clarissa took her boots off and put her feet in the water. Clarissa got lost in the beauty of the water. Clarissa was still leaning up against the tree when she fell asleep. When she woke up it was dark and she was freezing. She pulled her feet out of the freezing cold water and put them in her boots. She stood up and she was freezing. Her teeth were chattering, her feet were frozen and numb. One thing that Clarissa knew for sure is that it was after supper.

Clarissa crossed her arms and she began to walk back down the worn path. Clarissa tried to keep herself warm by moving quicker, but it was hard because of her numb feet. It took her another hour to get back to the base. When she got there there was a couple of people standing in the main entrance. They were all on guard, evident by how fast they turned to look at Clarissa.

"Where have you been? The whole base is looking for you." One of the girls say walking up to Clarissa. Then she noticed Clarissa is shaking and they turn around. "Could one of you please notify a higher up that we found her? I am going to bring her to the infirmary, she looks cold." Clarissa raised her eyebrow.

"Do you mind letting me know on what is happening?" Clarissa asked. The other two people nodded and turned around to walk down the hall. The girl grabbed onto Clarissa's hand and started pulling her down the hall to the infirmary.

"Armin Arlert said that you were going to be back by supper. Supper was five hours ago." She said as they walked into the infirmary. Clarissa nodded and looked around the room that had two beds on one wall. On the other wall was a desk and two people were walking around the room. One a man and one a woman. They both turned to look at the two when they walked in.

"You found her?" The man asked the girl that was holding Clarissa's hand. Clarissa pulled her arm away and crossed her arms.

"I am right here." Clarissa said. The man turned to look at Clarissa.

"Where were you?" He asked leading her to a bed. Clarissa followed and sat down.

"On a walk, that ended with me falling asleep with my feet in a river." Clarissa said with a shrug. The man picked up a blanket from the end of the bed and put it over Clarissa's shoulders. Then he grabbed onto Clarissa's wrist.

"You seem really cold, and your pulse is weak. I would like for you to stay here overnight. And just warm up." He said dropping her wrist and walking to the desk. The to girls left the room. As they left Commander Hange, Armin, Eren, and Mikasa walked into the room.

"Where were you?" Armin asked walking up to Clarissa's bed. Clarissa shrugged.

"Going for a walk. I fell asleep with my feet in the river, sorry to make all of you worry." Clarissa said moving herself in the bed so she is sitting against the headboard.

"You were missing for eight hours!" Eren said. Clarissa shrugged.

"I was missing for five hours. Before that I was just on a walk." Clarissa pointed out. Commander Hange sighed drawing everyone's attention to her.

"I am glad to see you back safely!" Commander Hange said. Clarissa nodded. Clarissa knew exactly why she was upset.

"I am sorry for taking you away from your research." Clarissa said. Commander Hange nodded.

"Speaking of, I have to get back to it! See you later Clarissa!" Commander Hange said before she left the room followed by the other man. Once the door was completely closed Mikasa spoke.

"How can you fall asleep with your feet in water?" Mikasa asked. Clarissa shrugged.

"Those beds in the holding cells aren't the most comfortable. The ground is better." Clarissa said with a smile. "So the base was looking for me?"


	18. Chapter 18

Clarissa walked into a meeting room. Inside of it Mikasa, Armin, Captain Levi, Commander Hange, and Commander Erwin were sitting down at the table. By the looks of it Clarissa was the last to the little meeting. Clarissa was in the middle of helping with cooking lunch when someone came up to her and told her Commander Erwin needed to talk with her in the meeting room. She had no idea that other people would be there.

Clarissa saluted before she sat down at the table. "Looks like you finally showed up. We can start now." Commander Erwin said. Clarissa nodded and looked over to Armin and Mikasa. By the looks of it they didn't have a clue of what was happening either.

"As you three know there has been a lot of… hate towards the Survey corps in the last couple of months." Commander Erwin said. Clarissa, Armin, and Mikasa all nodded. In the last five or six months there had been articles in different newspapers about how the Survey Corps is useless. Mostly because of the large casualties of the last expedition that happened a month prior to the uproar. And a year after Alina left to join the military. Sixty-two percent of the Survey Corps were taken out during that expedition. Leading to very small numbers of recruits. This year there was only nine new recruits.

"We have decided to-"

"Promotional work!" Commander Hange cuts off Erwin. Erwin looked over at her stunned and he nodded. Clarissa raised her eyebrows.

"Promotional work?" Clarissa asked. Commander Erwin and Commander Hange nodded.

"You will be going to Ermich district to walk around and talk to people." Captain Levi said. Commander Erwin and Commander Hange nod.

"Why us?" Mikasa asked putting together the pieces. Captain Levi looked out the window waiting for anyone else to explain.

"You three, Section Commander Hange, and Captain Levi will all be going to Ermich. Mikasa had chosen because of her combat abilities. Armin for his social skills, and Clarissa for her kindness towards children." Commander Erwin said. The three of them nodded.

"When do we have to head out?" Armin asked.

"In two hours." Captain Levi said then he stood up and walked out of the room. Clarissa looked over at Armin and Mikasa waiting for something to happen.

"You guys can go back to what you were doing." Commander Erwin said. The three stood up. They began to leave the room when Commander Hange stood up.

"Clarissa, I would like to speak with you." Commander Hange said. Clarissa stopped walking out of the door and turned around. Commander Erwin stood up and left the room along with Armin and Mikasa.

"What would you like to speak with me about?" Clarissa asked walking up to the table after the front door was closed.

"I have an update on Alina, here." Commander Hange said taking a paper out of her pocket. Clarissa smiled and took the paper from her hand.

"Thank you Ma'am." Clarissa said looking down at the paper in her hand. Commander Hange nodded then walked to the door.

"I will notify the rest of the people working in the kitchen that you will be absent until lunch." Commander Hange said with her hand on the doorknob. Clarissa nodded and looked up at her.

"Thank you," Clarissa said. Commander Hange nodded and left the room. Clarissa sat down at the table and opened the paper. Ever since Alina joined the military Commander Hange had been getting Clarissa status reports of Alina every two or three months. It was just a simple status reports. But Clarissa was always waiting for them.

The note read:

_Alina Everdeen, 15, in second year of training,_

_Everdeen is excelling in her ODM abilities. Her small size is very helpful in that area. She is somewhat talented in titan killing, she is improving every day. Her academic ability leaves some things desired, but she can still keep up with the others. Though her observation skills are off the charts. She would definitely be helpful during any expedition._

_The only thing she excels at, other than ODM, is teamwork. She is always really social when it comes to team exercises. There has never been one situation where she hasn't been kind or helpful to her comrades._

Clarissa folded up the paper and sighed. Every letter was the same. Saying how she is talented at ODM gear, and teamwork, and how she isn't the best when it comes to academic abilities, but how she is amazingly talented at observation. It wasn't a surprise at all when she got the first report. Everything ever written in them are things that Clarissa expected.

After lunch Commander Hange, Captain Levi, Armin, Mikasa, and Clarissa were on their way to Ermich. They traveled in two different carriages. Captain Levi and Commander Hange in one, and Armin, Mikasa, and Clarissa in the other one. It was an hour long trip, but once they arrived there was a large crowd.

The three got out of the carriages and were instantly meeted with a large crowd around them. No one was talking, they were just watching. Commander Hange walked up to the three.

"Walk around a little, talk with people!" Commander Hange said with a smile. Then she turned away and walked into the crowds of people. Clarissa looked over at Armin and Mikasa. They both shrugged. Clarissa took in a deep breath then she started wondering around. Armin and Mikasa did the same. Captain Levi was off somewhere with a crowd of fangirls around him. Commander Hange was speaking with a crowd of people about titans. Mikasa was standing in the middle of the crowd just looking around. Armin was following Clarissa into the crowds.

It was obvious that Commander Hange and Captain Levi had done this before. But Clarissa had absolutely no idea what to do. As she was walking someone walked up to her.

"Why are the Survey Corps here?" The woman asked. She looked middage and had long blonde hair.

"Because we had a free day and wanted to come hang out with people." Clarissa said with a smile. Armin stopped beside her. Everyone around Clarissa were watching her.

"Shouldn't you guys be off trying to figure out how to block up Trost?" The woman asked crossing her arms. Clarissa shrugged half-heartedly.

"We are, we are working constantly. I myself am part of Section Commander Hange's squad. Part of her job is to research different ways to figure out how to block up the whole in Trost. Meaning, part of my job is to research as well. I can assure you that we have spent the last year and a half on research." Clarissa said. The woman shook her head.

"But why are you here instead of researching?" The woman asked. Clarissa nodded.

"Because we needed some air. We needed a break to refresh our minds. I am sorry if you do not think we are doing everything we can, but rest assured we are working as hard as we can on it." Clarissa said. The woman nodded.

"What, what exactly are you doing? The Survey Corps keeps promising they are working towards a solution. But we aren't getting any answers!" The woman yelled drawing the attention of Captain Levi that was nearby. Commander Erwin did warn them that there may be some upsetting conversations. But Clarissa was not really prepared to answer every single question.

"I would tell you, but it is confidential." Clarissa said. Armin took a step back.

"It's always confidential! What is confidential? What have you guys been working on this whole time that is so confidential?!" The woman yelled. Everyone in the crowd was now looking at them. Clarissa took a deep breath to try and find an answer.

"There is nothing that I can tell you, other than we have a method of closing the hole. If I would say anything else, I am afraid I would not be able to help with the whole fixing up." Clarissa said with a smile. The woman shook her head then turned away. Captain levi walked up to Clarissa after the woman walked away.

"Next time, don't tell anyone something confidential." Captain Levi said. Clarissa nodded.

"Sorry sir," Clarissa said. Captain Levi nodded then walked away.

"Clare, you handled that better than I would have." Armin said. Clarissa turned to him and she raised an eyebrow.

"Really? I should've let you handle that! I messed up, you would have done better." Clarissa said crossing her arms. Armin smiled.

"Probably not, but you didn't do bad!" Armin said. Clarissa shook her head.

"I didn't do well either. But beside that, we have work to do." Clarissa said then she walked away into the crowd. Armin followed after her. Clarissa walked around a little then ran into a group of three children, and their parents. The oldest was six, the youngest two.

"Hey miss!" The oldest said. She was a girl. Clarissa paused at the sound and turned to where the voice was coming from. "Are you from the Survey Corps?" She asked. Clarissa nodded and walked up to the small family. The mother father, and the three children. The two oldest are girls, and the youngest is a boy.

"Yes I am." Clarissa said with a smile. Armin walked up beside her. Clarissa knelt down with the children.

"What does outside the walls look like?" The middle child asked. Clarissa looked to her.

"It is nice, lots of fields, and a lot of titans, that is the not so nice part." Clarissa said. The youngest started walking off. The mother was going to walk after him. Clarissa grabbed onto him and placed him her lap.

"What do titans look like?" The oldest asked. Clarissa hummed in thought as she tickled the youngest.

"They are large," Clarissa said.

"Are they scary?" The middle one asked. Clarissa shrugged.

"They can be, they can be really scary, but I am not scared of them." Clarissa said handing you youngest up to his mother.

"You're not?" The oldest asked. Clarissa shrugged.

"Not really, I was at first." Clarissa said.

"Clare, I am going to report to Captain Levi." Armin said. Clarissa looked over at him then she nodded. Then he walked away dissapearing into the crowd.

"Why aren't you scared of them?" The oldest asked drawing back Clarissa's attention.

"Because I know I can protect myself. See my gear," Clarissa said showing her ODM gear and the carrier that holds many blades. "I can use it all to keep myself and others safe."

"What does that do?" The middle one asked pointing at ODM gear that is only slightly visible from the front view.

"Oh, that is what makes me fly. It is called ODM gear." Clarissa said. The two girls nodded.

"How long did it take for you to learn how to use it?" The oldest asked.

"Well, training is three years, but you learn how to do simple things like that early on. So I can't really tell you exactly, but we started using them a couple of months into training." Clarissa said.

"What is the hardest part of being in the Survey Corps?" The oldest asked. Clarissa hummed in thought.

"Cleaning, definitely cleaning. We have to clean our rooms everyday and we have to clean the bathrooms, and the kitchen." Clarissa said. The little girls smiled.

"We have to clean our rooms everyday." The younger one said. Clarissa nodded. Then she stood up.

"I am going to go talk with some other people, but please if you want to come talk." Clarissa said. The mother and father nodded.

"Thank you for taking time to speak with us." The father said. Clarissa nodded.

"No problem, have a great day." Clarissa said before she walked off. Clarissa walked over to Commander Hange. Commander Hange looked away from the people she was talking to. The person looked bored, Commander Hange was probably boring him. She _was_ boring him.

"How can I help you Clarissa?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa saluted to her.


	19. Chapter 19

Clarissa was walking along the wall with Moblit, Nifa, and Commander Hange. Clarissa looked down at Trost. There are dozens upon dozens of titans all throughout Trost. There were sixty or seventy stationary soldiers on top the wall ready to kill all the titans. The rest of the Survey Corps were on wall Rose attracting the titans. It was working because all the titans were walking towards wall Rose.

Clarissa cursed under her breath as she watched the hoards of titans. Clarissa took a deep breath to settle her anger before she looked forward at Moblit, Nifa, and Commander Hange in front of them.

Right now they were ordered to go and block up the gate. Their plan was to put a net up over the gate. Then after the net is secured they will start covering the whole with wood. It may take a couple of weeks in order to completely cover up the hole. Then the Survey Corps and Garrison will start covering the hole with wood. During it there will be Garrison soldiers and Survey Corp soldiers, killing the titans inside Trost. There would always be at least one Survey Corps squad, and one Garrison squad working on the wall at a time.

Right now Commander Hange and her squad are going to the gate. There was a small group of soldiers on the other side of the wall bringing a large net over to the gate. Clarissa was tagging behind a fair bit behind. She was stuck with always looking back at the wall.

Her friends were hanging down the wall to help attract the titans. They were only about twenty meters away from the titans. If their gear somehow malfunctioned they would fall into the large group of titans. Then they would be eaten. Clarissa knew they would be okay, since they have survived two expeditions and the fall of Trost. So there is no need for her to worry about them. But she still can't shake the worry.

"Rose, you're gonna fall behind!" Nifa calls back to Clarissa. Clarissa nodded and ran up to the rest of her squad. About a year ago everyone started calling her rose. At first Clarissa went against it, but it was useless. It spread like the plague, all the new recruits only knew her as Rose. It was deja vu, hiding her name from everyone. But it isn't really hiding, her friends and higher ups still call her Clarissa, well mostly Armin.

Clarissa looked back to wall Rose. She couldn't keep her eyes off of it, and the people dangling down it. It was necessary for the repairing of Trost, but it was still highly idiotic. Clarissa took a deep breath and looked forward at Commander Hange's back. Nifa was walking beside Clarissa, Moblit was beside Commander Hange.

When they get above the gate the people with the net arrived at the same time. Clarissa and Nifa took the heavy net off and put it it on the ground near the edge, facing wall Maria. The two Garrison guards that brought the net over knelt down and started hammering the net into the wall.

"Rose, what are you doing tonight?" Moblit asked walking up beside Clarissa. Clarissa shrugged and crossed her arms.

"I don't know, it always depends on if my friends live. If they live, I will drink some beer while they do whatever they do. And if they die, I will be drinking ten bottles of beer. So, drinking beer." Clarissa said with a smile.

"They won't die!" Moblit said. Clarissa raised her eyebrow.

"That is what half of the people joining the Survey Corps say, 'I won't die'. But, my friends have survived for nearly three years. I don't think hanging off a wall twenty meters above fifty hungry titans will kill them. No way!" Clarissa said sarcastic. Moblit shook his head.

"Maybe you are right, but, don't say they are going to die until the end of today." Moblit said. Clarissa nodded.

"I still need something to drink after all of this." Clarissa said.

"I will join you!" Commander Hange said walking up to the two. "After this I deserve a drink." Clarissa and Moblit saluted to her. She waved the salutes off. "You two will be securing the net to the ground. Nifa and I will watch out for titans. If any titans gets closer than twenty meters you retreat to the top of the wall and wait until they are close enough to kill."

"Yes Ma'am," Moblit and Clarissa said at the same time. The Garrison soldiers stand up and look over to the four of them.

"We are done here." One of them said. Commander Hange nodded.

"Looks like that's our que!" Commander Hange said. She walked up to the net and kicked it. It fell down the wall. Clarissa watched it in amazement. It took a while to get a fifty-five meter long net. It took a lot of resources as well. The lots of resources that they are low on. So this plan had to work.

"Where did we even get a net like that?" Clarissa asked walking up to the edge of the wall and looking down at the net.

"It had to be specially made." Commander Hange said. Clarissa sighed and looked out at wall Maria. There were only five titans that she could see. None of them were close enough to cause any harm.

"That makes sense." Clarissa said, "Where are the hammers?" Nifa grabbed onto two hammers and handed them to Clarissa and Moblit.

"Now go and hammer down the net!" Commander Hange said. Clarissa nodded and flew down to the ground. She landed on the ground and moved the net to where it was just covering the bottom. Clarissa took a moment to look over the net. It really was the perfect size.

"Four meter titan fifty meters south-west!" Nifa yelled sitting half down the wall. Clarissa looked over at the field and there was a titan about fifty meters away. Clarissa turned back to the net and she started hammering the net into the ground.

"Fourteen meter abnormal two-hundred meters south! Making a b-line towards you, you have about five minutes until it arrives. Three minutes before you need to get on top the wall!" Nifa called again. Clarissa looked over, the titan was running at full speed right towards them. Clarissa took a deep breath before she finished hammering the net into the ground. She stood up and at the same time Moblit was standing up.

"Get on the wall now!" Nifa yelled. Clarissa and Moblit went to the top of the wall without a second of hesitation. One of the Garrison soldiers helped pull Clarissa up, the other one helped Nifa, Commander Hange helped Moblit. Once they were all on top of the wall Commander Hange fired off a green flare. Signaling the completing the mission.

Clarissa turned around to look at the titan. It was a fourteen meter abnormal for sure. It was about seventy-five meters away from the wall. It was definitely fast, way to fast. "Rose, watch out to make sure no titan gets in." Commander Hange ordered. Clarissa nodded and kept her eyes on the titans.

The first titan walked up to the net and started pawing at it. But so far the net was not budging. Clarissa threw her hands in the air. "We did it!" Clarissa yelled.

"It's not coming in?" Nifa asked walking up beside Clarissa. Clarissa turned to her with a smile.

"No!" Clarissa said with a smile. Nifa smiled and looked down at the titan. "We still have to watch out for abnormals, but these normal ones are completely helpless!"

"Rose, you are in charge of killing a titan if they start disturbing the net. Moblit, take those two Garrison soldiers and get Levi, and his squad. We will need help." Commander Hange said. Moblit saluted, so did the two Garrison soldiers, then all three of them started running along the wall to get back to wall Rose.

Clarissa looked back out to the inside of wall Maria. The abnormal titan just got to the wall. There were now three more titans closing in on one-hundred meters away. They all looked smaller, and normal. As normal as titans can get. Clarissa kept her eyes close on the abnormal. The abnormal started pulling on the net.

"Commander, should I interfere?" Clarissa asked looking back to Commander Hange. Commander Hange walked up to the edge and looked down at it. Then she nodded.

"Yes, quick, before any other titans get close enough to grab you." Commander Hange said. Clarissa nodded and used her ODM gear to fall down half of the wall.

"Leave the net alone, look over here titan." Clarissa yelled taking out a new pair of blades. On cue the abnormal looked over at Clarissa. She was high enough that the other the other titan didn't care about Clarissa being there. The titan was under her in a matter of seconds. Clarissa took a deep breath and went up the wall a little further. Clarissa had always had a very strong ability to measure her ability. If she was in the city she would be able to kill the titan easily. But she isn't, she is in pretty much flat ground. There are one or two buildings, but not large enough to use to get around.

"Nifa, I need back up!" Clarissa called. Nifa came down the wall to beside Clarissa. Nifa's eyebrows were scrunched together.

"Why do you need help? Can't you do it yourself?" Nifa asked. Clarissa knew she didn't mean anything by it, but to anyone else it would be an insult.

"I could, if I were in the city, where there are lots of buildings. This one is a fast bugger too." Clarissa said then she looked down at the titan for a split second before looking back up at Nifa. "Ready?" Nifa nodded.

They flew off of the wall. Nifa went down to the feet of the titan. Clarissa flew up by the head. The titan was an inch away from grabbing onto Clarissa when the titan fell to its knees. Clarissa looked down at Nifa, and she was back on the wall. This was Clarissa's fight now. Nifa and Clarissa had gotten good at fighting titans together. They just know what to do. Clarissa stuck her ODM gear into the back of the titans neck. Then she flew to it quickly and cut out the nape. There were two more titans walking up to Clarissa. Before the other titans could get to them she got back to the side of the wall beside Nifa.

Clarissa sighed as the titans blood began to steam. Clarissa looked over at Nifa and smiled. "You could of done that on your own!" Nifa said. Clarissa shrugged and put her blades away.

"It was slightly less deadly with you there. Let's get on the wall." Clarissa said. Then they both got to the top of the wall. Commander Hange handed Clarissa a hammer and a nail.

"Nail this in half way, it will help." Commander Hange said handing the same thing to Nifa, Nifa was on top of the wall. Clarissa was still hanging off the edge. Clarissa nodded and fell down half of the wall. She stopped right by the middle. Nifa was across from her. They both started hammering the nails into the wall. After the nails were in the wall they both went back to the top. Commander Hange helped Nifa up. Clarissa climbed up herself.

"Do you think that we need another nail quarter the way up?" Commander Hange asked. Clarissa took her blades out and changed out her damaged one.

"I think it could be a smart idea, it would make it more secure." Clarissa said looking up at Commander Hange walking towards her.

"Yes, we can do it once the other soldiers get here. You two can't do it with the support I can give you. You guys need more." Commander Hange. Clarissa nodded.

"So we get a small break?" Clarissa asked raising her eyebrows. Commander Hange shrugged.

"You still have to watch to make sure no titans get in. But if that is a break, then yes!" Commander Hange said with a smile. Clarissa nodded walked up to the edge of the wall and looked down at the ground. There were about five titans around the net now. But none of them have been able to get in. Or move the net. It would be able to if it was some sort of abnormal, or if it had some sort of brains. Which is scientifically impossible. So the net is good for now.

Clarissa stood there for about an hour until she heard a lot of footsteps near her. Clarissa looked up and over to where the sound of footsteps came from. Moblit was back with the special operations squad; Captain Levi, Petra, Gunther, Olou, and Eld. Clarissa saluted right away to Captain Levi.

"Hange, what are we doing?" Captain Levi asked Commander Hange. As soon as Captain Levi changed his focus Clarissa dropped her salute.

"We already have the net nailed down at the bottom and the middle. We need to do it a quarter the way up. It wasn't safe with just three of us." Commander Hange said looking at Nifa and Clarissa. Clarissa nodded then looked over at Captain Levi.

"So you want us to kill the titans so the net can be nailed down?" Captain Levi asked. Commander Hange nodded. Then Captain Levi turned to his squad. "You heard her," Everyone from his squad walked up to the edge of the wall to look at how many titans there are. Clarissa looked down as well.

Now there are about ten titans clawing at the walls. The special operations squad looked back and forth at each other. They nodded at each other and then they flew off. Clarissa raised her eyebrows watching them. Two of them went further into the fields, drawing the attention of half of them. Half of them started running towards the two that went further. Now Clarissa could see that it was Petra and Gunther.

The two of killed those titans quickly, and without much effort. The other three have already killed the remaining titans. Clarissa had watched them fight together many times, but it never gets boring. It is always exhilarating.

"Rose, Nifa, get down there now before any other titans arrive." Commander Hange ordered. Clarissa nodded snapping out of her trance. Then she grabbed onto the nail and hammer. Then she went down the wall and started hammering the nail into wall. When the wall was safely secured Clarissa went back to the top of the wall. Petra helped her up onto the wall.

"Just going to say this for good measure, it is always impressive when I see you and your squad battle." Clarissa said dusting herself off. Nifa walked up beside Clarissa.

"Thanks, you two have the same thing." Petra said looking between Nifa and Clarissa. Clarissa nodded and looked at Nifa.

"You have a point, but you can do it with a whole squad. I guess I am just jealous." Clarissa said with a shrug looking back at Petra.

"I have had nearly five years with my squad. You and Nifa have only really been working together for two years." Petra said. Clarissa nodded.

"The watch will be here in an hour. Until then, Rose, Nifa, watch the wall." Captain Levi said. Clarissa and Nifa saluted then they looked back at the ground. Where two titans have already arrived, and where there are ten steaming piles of titan.

"You two wanna get a drink later? I already know Moblit and Commander Hange are coming." Clarissa said to the two beside her. Petra shrugged as she looked down at the ground as well.

"I will," Nifa said sitting down on a crate.

"I can, I have to talk with Captain Levi about it first." Petra said. Clarissa crossed her arms and nodded.

"You can, but I am coming too." Captain Levi said. Clarissa looked back at him and smiled.

"Sounds fun! It will be a party then!" Clarissa said with a smile. Captain Levi sighed and shook his head then he walked up to Commander Hange. Clarissa smiled then looked back down at the ground.


	20. Chapter 20

Clarissa sat down at dining hall table with a beer bottle. At the table was, Armin, Eren, Mikasa, Petra, Oluo, Moblit, Nifa, Commander Hange, and Captain Levi. Everyone old enough to drink had one. Meaning everyone but Armin, Eren, and Mikasa. It was about nine, most everyone was hanging out with their friends, or doing something for themselves. Some were partying over the victory of getting Trost back. That is what this small group was doing.

Clarissa opened her beer bottle and took a good drink from it. "So, you guys didn't die dangling off of the wall." Clarissa said looking at Armin, Eren, and Mikasa. Armin and Eren shrugged.

"Nope, it was close at one point though." Eren said. Petra and Oluo were talking to each other. Commander Hange and Captain Levi were talking to each other too, well Commander Hange was talking to Captain Levi. Nifa was listening in on Clarissa's conversation. Moblit was sitting in a corner, already one beer deep.

"Did Mikasa have to save you?" Clarissa asked looking at Mikasa. Mikasa nodded slightly. Clarissa smiled and laughed slightly. She stopped her laugh with taking another sip of her beer.

"Are you making fun of me?" Eren asked. Clarissa shook her head setting her beer down.

"No, I am just grateful that you didn't die." Clarissa said crossing her legs. She took another sip of her beer.

"It is hard to tell if you are being sarcastic or not." Nifa said. Clarissa looked over at her and nodded.

"I am not, currently." Clarissa said with a sheepish smile. Clarissa learned her first time getting drunk, that she gets very sarcastic, and giggly. Because of that her body had a built in defense system to stop her from getting too embarrassed. If the need ever arised, Clarissa could sober up in seconds. Only to get drunk only seconds after she did what she had to do sober. The side-effect of that is she got drunk quick.

"Rose, are you seriously getting drunk this quick?" Captain Levi asked. Clarissa took another sip of beer then she shrugged.

"Possibly, yes." Clarissa said sheepishly.

"When did you get the name 'Rose' anyway?" Nifa asked. Clarissa paused a moment to think. Then she pointed with her beer bottle at Eren.

"Ask him," Clarissa said before she took another sip of beer. Everyone at the table looked over at Eren. Even Moblit. No one really remembers exactly when and why she started to be called Rose. All Clarissa remembered is that Eren came up with it.

"For one, she always has the rose necklace on, and she always wears red." Eren said. Clarissa nodded and looked down at herself. She had on her maroon dress shirt, and her rose necklace. "The second reason, she is like the walls. When she first joined the military she was guarded, like Maria. Then after she got her memory, she opened up more, so she became wall Rose. Still, no one really knows about her past, so that is the Sina part of her." Clarissa took another sip of beer and laughed a little.

"You will never figure that out. Because wall Rose is not going to break." Clarissa said after she noticed everyone staring at her. Clarissa was already pretty drunk. The door to the dining room opened and Commander Erwin came walking in. He walked straight up to Clarissa with a folder in his hand.

"The MP's asked me to give this to you." Commander Erwin said holding the folder out to Clarissa. Clarissa took the folded and put down her beer bottle.

"Thank you sir," Clarissa said with a smile. Commander Erwin nodded and left the room. Clarissa opened the file and looked over the paper. As she read her smile faded and her heart dropped.

"What is it?" Armin asked noticing Clarissa's expression. Clarissa still couldn't move. She took a deep breathe then read further.

"The first trial for Mrs. Lilith was inconclusive, they are asking me to come and testify at court. In a couple of days." Clarissa said after she recentered herself.

"Let me see it," Commander Hange said putting her hand out. Commander Hange was sitting down beside Clarissa. Clarissa instantly handed the folder to her. Clarissa grabbed onto her beer bottle.

"Mrs. Lilith Everdeen was released from Military Police custody one year ago due to the inconclusive ending of the trial on Monday the fifteenth, at ten in the morning. Due to the many reports filed on Mrs. Everdeen from Ms. Alina Everdeen, the second trial has been scheduled for Wednesday twenty third, at three in the afternoon. It is asked that both Clarissa Daren Ackerman, and Alina Everdeen will be present as victims of Mrs. Everdeen's crime of child neglect." Commander Hange read off. Clarissa grimaced, she grabbed onto her beer bottle.

"I am going to need more of this." Clarissa said chugging the bottle of beer and standing up.

After she left the room she got another bottle of beer and she sat outside watching the stars, all night. The next couple of days Clarissa was emotionless, whenever she had to do her turn at guarding the wall, she would sit on the wall with her legs hanging off; just staring at the many titans.

When the day of the trial came Armin had to literally pull her out of her bed. Then the morning duties went on slowly, Clarissa was majorly slacking off. Commander Hange let her, knowing what was going to happen later in the day. Right before lunch Clarissa was taken to the courthouse by two Survey Corps soldiers.

It was a three hour long ride, giving Clarissa an hour in the courthouse to mull over what was going to happen. Clarissa was not allowed to talk with Alina before the trial because they could 'scheme' about what to say. Clarissa though that was stupid, but it made sense, a little.

Clarissa was pacing in the hallways of the courthouse. There were many reasons for her to be nervous, one because she was going to meet with her crazy mother. Two, because she was going to see Alina for the first time since she left to join the military. At least for this trial Clarissa wouldn't have a whole bunch of her higher ups watching her. So that took away some stress, only some.

"Clarissa Ackerman?" A voice asked from behind Clarissa. Clarissa turned around and there was a Military Police holding a file. Clarissa nodded. He looked her up and down. Clarissa was still in her military uniform. He probably wasn't expecting her to be in uniform. "The trial is starting in ten minutes. I was asked to bring you to the courtroom."

"Alright," Clarissa said with a shaky voice. She nodded and the man turned around and started walking down the hall. Clarissa grabbed onto her necklace with both her hands as she followed him. Clarissa had never been so nervous in her life. If she wasn't a soldier that had to hold up an image, she would fall apart and run out of the courtroom. But she was a soldier that had an image to uphold, so she couldn't.

The two of them walked into the courtroom. Clarissa scanned the room before she took more than a step. Her eyes landed on Alina. Clarissa could hardly recognize her. She was standing at attention, with her hands placed behind her back. She was in the Training Corps uniform. She looked so old. Her hair was up in a messy bun. She had a blank expression. It didn't show any nervousness, or pain, Clarissa felt an ache in her heart.

The military took away her baby sister.

Clarissa swallowed a lump in her throat then she walked further into the room, then she walked into the witness area. Alina turned to Clarissa. Once Alina saw Clarissa her eyes widened. Her stance dropped then she run up to Clarissa and pulled her into a hug. Clarissa released the hug then stared into Alina's eyes.

Clarissa shook her head, she didn't want to believe that Alina was so grown up. She is sixteen now, her birthday was yesterday. "Happy birthday," Clarissa said trying to muster a smile.

"Yeah, thank you. Today in training we were supposed to go to a forest and practice survival skills overnight. But because of me they had to postpone it until tomorrow. I feel so horrible about it." Alina said looking at the ground. Clarissa hit Alina's shoulder.

"You are going to be a soldier, you and your comrades are a team. Not just one person holds them back. It isn't holding them back anyway, I know I would be thankful for having a one day break before something like that." Clarissa said. Alina's eyes widened. She nodded and returned to her stance. "You got Comodant Shadis to come, that's impressive. He must like you." Clarissa said looking up at the stands over top the courtroom. Comodant Shadis was standing in the stands with his arms crossed.

"He said he had to come because it was a large claim, being it child neglect and all." Alina said with a slight smile. Clarissa nodded and turned to face the center of the courtroom. Then Clarissa spread her legs apart slightly and placed both her hands behind her back.

"I read the reports on how you are doing. Personally I think you are doing well." Clarissa said as both of them were looking forward, and not at each other.

"Really? I am doing horrible in the actual schoolwork part of it." Alina said. Clarissa turned her head to the side slightly.

"I am not to sure about that, I am not going to tell you what the reports said, because legally I am not allowed to; but I can assure you, you aren't doing that bad." Clarissa said with a smile. The small fraction of relief that Clarissa had, disappeared when the door to the courtroom opened and Mrs. Lilith began to walk into the room. The smile on the two girls' faces were wiped off. They both tensed up. As Mrs. Lilith walked to the middle of the room she looked over at Clarissa and Alina and she scoffed.

Clarissa restrained from grimacing and she kept her posture, so did Alina. "The trial of Lilith Everdeen will begin now." The judge said before she sat down. Clarissa took in a deep breath and held it.

"Mrs. Everdeen is here on the count that she has been accused of child neglect. The first trial ended inconclusive. We only had one witness, Alina Everdeen. Now we have Clarissa Ackerman, as well. Mrs. Everdeen's adoptive daughter. Before we start I would like to thank those two girls for taking time from their busy days to join us here today. Ms. Ackerman is a soldier in the Survey Corps. Ms. Everdeen is currently in her second year of training to join the military." The mediator said. She stood at the head of the room.

"First I would like for Mrs. Everdeen to go over a normal day, before they were forced to leave Shiganshina." The woman said. Mrs. Lilith nodded. "Please state your name before you start."

"Lilith Everdeen," Mrs. Lilith started, "First thing in the morning I would get up and make breakfast for the girls. Then I would wait for them to wake up. If they weren't up at eight I would wake them up. Then we would have breakfast. After breakfast the girls' would either go to school or hang out, depending on the day. If there was school I was left alone with Aley."

"This is after your husband, Daren Everdeen, was murdered by Ms. Ackerman, correct?" The woman asked crossing her arms. Mrs. Lilith nodded.

"Yes, then after school it would be lunch. I would make them food, after lunch Clarissa would go to a cafe, I don't know what she would do there." Clarissa grimaced, parents are supposed to know where their children are. "She would have to be back by sunset. She would normally be back at supper though. We would have dinner, then it would be chore time. Everything in the house needed to be cleaned at this time. We would clean together. Then if there was time before bath time we would read together." Clarissa refrained from speaking out.

"What would the other girls be doing while Clarissa was out?" She asked. Mrs. Lilith froze, she didn't have an answer. She lost her cool for a fraction of a second then she smiled.

"They would work on their school, I would help them." Mrs. Lilith said. This time Alina laughed slightly. The woman at the head of the room turned to Alina, who had already regained her composure.

"Do you have any issues with this statement, Ms. Everdeen?" The woman asked. Alina nodded.

"We would do our homework, but Mrs. Lilith would never help." The woman nodded then turned back to Mrs. Lilith.

"I assume after bath time it would be bedtime, correct?" The woman asked. Mrs. Lilith nodded. The woman smiled. "What did Clarissa do at the cafe?" Mrs. Lilith froze again, this time it was more noticable.

"I don't know," Mrs. Lilith said. The woman nodded.

"What did she and her sisters do in their free time?" The woman asked. Mrs. Lilith regained her composure.

"They would write, and read, and play the piano. They loved the piano! There was constantly a sweet sound of music going through the house." Mrs. Lilith said with a fake smile. To any normal person it was a real smile, but Clarissa knew that Mrs. Lilith never actually smiled.

"Who would play the piano most?" The woman asked.

"Alina, no Clarissa, no maybe all of them." Mrs. Lilith said confident at first, then her voice drained off. Clarissa took a deep breath to stop herself from showing any of her emotions. To Clarissa, this was laughable.

"You adopted Ms. Ackerman, correct?" The woman asked. Mrs. Lilith nodded. "Explain, please."

"One day Daren and I were on a walk out in wall Rose. We came across an old house we wanted to explore. We went in and we heard cries. Then we found Clarissa swaddled on the bed in a blanket. In the blanket was a piece of paper with her name. We decided to keep it. Daren and I were just one year into being married when we got Clarissa. So she was our first child." Mrs. Lilith explained. The woman nodded.

"'It', as in Clarissa or her name?" The woman asked. Clarissa cracked a small smile, but not large enough to be noticed.

"Both," Mrs. Lilith said. Clarissa couldn't help but laugh. As soon as someone looked at her she regained her posture and wiped the smile away.

"Now I would like us to go through what happened the day Ms. Ackerman killed her father." The woman said. Clarissa took a step forward.

"I would like to object!" The judge nodded, "We already went through this. I am innocent!" Clarissa said. The woman nodded.

"Yes, but we would like Mrs. Everdeens idea of what happened. You will continue to be innocent. Nothing will change about that." The woman said. Clarissa closed her eyes tight and took in a deep breath.

_That is full of crap! This is court, anything can happen! _Clarissa wanted to say. Instead she took a step back and fell back into her stance.

"Now, Mrs. Everdeen, please start." The woman said with her focus once again on Mrs. Lilith.

"It was a normal day, everything went on as normal. Breakfast, school, lunch, supper, then after supper I heard a scream. I ran to our bedroom and Daren was laying on the bed, lifeless, blood was pouring out everywhere. C-Clarissa, that monster was standing above her!" Mrs. Lilith yelled pointing over at Clarissa. Clarissa flinched and her eyes widened for a fraction of a second.

"Thank you for that Mrs. Everdeen, but we will not be accusing her of anything today." The woman said. Mrs. Lilith nodded then looked back at the woman. "I would like to speak with Ms. Ackerman now." It took a little but Clarissa went up to the witness stand. The woman looked up at Clarissa and she took a deep breath.

"State your name for the file, then start with a normal day, after Daren passed away." The woman said. Clarissa nodded, regretting that she had to say her full name.

"Clarissa Daren Ackerman, on a normal day I would get up around seven thirty. Then I would make breakfast, then Aley and Alina would wake up. Then we would eat together, and I would make Mrs. Lilith a plate and leave it on the counter for her. Then we went to school, and Aley stayed at home with Mrs. Lilith. Then we got home for lunch, Mrs. Lilith would make us lunch. We ate lunch, then I would go to the cafe, I would play the piano and sing there to get money. I used that money to buy groceries, then I went home and I would have to make supper. After that Aley, Alina, and I would hange out and we would play piano, if Alina was struggling with school I would help her. Then it was bathtime, then bedtime." Clarissa said going deep into her memories.

"That sounds like a lovely day! So Mrs. Lilith wasn't working, and you had to make the money?" The woman asked. Clarissa nodded.

"Correct," Clarissa said. The woman nodded then she looked at a piece of paper.

"Tell me what happened on the day that you murdered Daren?" The woman asked. Clarissa took a deep breath and nodded.

"It was a normal day until dinner. At dinner Daren was pissed off, he wasn't speaking. He had a constant scowl. I was sitting right beside him, I demanded to sit beside him, I wouldn't let my sister's near him. Then after dinner we were doing chores, I went to make the bed in my parent's room. Daren was on the bed, I had to make the bed, I went to make it. He took out a knife and held it up to my throat. I yelled, that only made him push the knife against my neck, so it drew blood. Aley and Alina ran into the room. Daren yelled, 'I am done with you idiot child!' and he took the knife away and held it in his hand, he was ready to stab me. I grabbed a knife off of the floor and stabbed him, it was all instinct, I wasn't even thinking." Clarissa said. She was shaking, in cold sweats. She was reliving it. Every second of it. There was a lot more that happened that day, but she couldn't bring herself to say it.

"Good, thank you." The woman said.

Clarissa took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She once again standing on the side. Now it was Alina's turn to speak. Clarissa clenched her hands into fists behind her back. Alina wasn't the type to testify in court. She did do it before, but Clarissa wasn't there to see how she actually did. The trial ended inconclusive anyway, Alina wasn't able to testify properly.

"State your name for the file, then start with your relationship with your sisters, and Mrs. Everdeen." The woman said. Clarissa took another deep breath before she looked up at Alina in the stands. Then Clarissa looked up at the Commandant. He was standing there watching Alina closely. He looked like normal him. Clarissa looked back to Alina.

"Alina Everdeen, Aley and I were close, well as close as we could get. Which is pretty close. I was closer to Clare, Clare was my big sister, she cooked for me, helped me with my chores, she taught me how to read and write. She taught Aley how to read, at three. Clarey taught me how to play the piano, and how to write songs, I still write songs and play the piano to this day. Well, I can't really play the piano because there is none at the training camp, but I still write songs. Anyway, Clare, Aley and I were really close. The only time we weren't with Clare is when she was at the cafe, or she went to get groceries." Alina said. Clarissa sighed in relief. Alina was doing better than Clarissa thought she would do.

"So Clarissa was a second mother to you and Alessandra?" The woman asked. Alina nodded.

"Yes," Alina said.

"I know you don't want to speak about this, but what happened the day Shiganshina was broken into?" The woman asked. Alina swallowed a lump in her throat. Clarissa dropped her arms to her side and she took a slight step forward. Clarissa looked up at the Commandant. His arms were at his sides and he took a step forward as well. Then he looked down at Clarissa.

"Okay," Alina said in a shaky voice. "It was about ten when Clare left. Aley and I waved her goodbye, Aley gave her a rose necklace that she found a couple days earlier." Clarissa grabbed onto her necklace. "When she left Aley and I went for a short walk. When we got back to the house, that is when, that is when the titas started coming in. Mrs. Lilith ran out of the house just as we got there. She was scared, I think, I have never seen her scared before. But then she started running away from us. I grabbed onto Aley's hand and started pulling her along with me towards the gate. Aley let go of my hand, I was too focused on getting away to realize."

Clarissa shook her head and turned around. She put both her hands around the necklace. This is not what she meant when she said she wanted to know how Alessandra died. A tear fell down Clarissa's cheek. She took a deep breath before she turned back around. Everyone was looking at her. Clarissa just ignored them and waited for Aley to speak.

"I didn't know, she fell. She called for me, then I turned around to go pick her up. A titan was down the street from her. I….I… I wanted to go get her, I wanted to so bad. I couldn't move. I called out for Mrs. Lilith to come help, she wouldn't listen, she kept running. Then… the titan grabbed her, I couldn't move, I tried believe me, Clarissa I tried!" Alina said looking at Clarissa. Tears were running down her face. Clarissa nodded.

"I know," Clarissa said quietly, so no one could hear. Alina nodded, and she closed her eyes.

"Right before the titan ate her, she called out for Clarissa. At first it was normal. I thought it was normal. But the more I thought about it, she should of called out for her mother." Alina said with her eyes closed. Clarissa turned to look at Mrs. Lilith. She was frozen, she was shaky, her eyes were wide. Maybe she is just now noticing wat she had been doing.

"Why did you join the military?" The woman asked. Alina looked down at her hands.

"Before or after I knew my sister was alive?" Alina asked still staring down at her hands.

"Before, please." The woman said. Alina nodded.

"I joined to get away from Mrs. Lilith." Alina said. The woman nodded. Commandant Shadis crossed his arms and took a step forward.

"How about after you found out Clarissa was alive?" The woman asked. Alina looked up at Clarissa before she shied away and looked back down at her hands.

"After, I wanted to be with her. I trust her judgment, and she joined the military, so I knew it was the right thing to do." Alina said. Clarissa felt sick, she was about to throw up. This was exactly what she didn't want. She didn't want it to be her. It couldn't be her. Clarissa couldn't be the one making Alina go to her death. Clarissa grabbed onto her stomach.

"Ms. Ackerman, are you alright?" The woman asked. Clarissa shook her head and she started to feel light headed and dizzy.

"It's okay, please continue." Clarissa said taking in a deep breath. She straightened her posture and placed her hands behind her back. The woman nodded and turned back to Alina.

"How did you find Clarissa?" The woman asked. Clarissa was staring blankly at Mrs. Lilith. She was trying to stop herself from either puking, or passing out, both of those would be horrible.

"At the refugee camp, after the fall of Trost. Clare was getting her ankle fixed, I don't know what happened. Then Mrs. Lilith went up to her and they started fighting. Clarissa wasn't like herself, she was, I can't explain it." Alina said. Clarissa took a deep breath.

"I was doing my job, I am different when I am in active duty. It was also a really long day." Clarissa said still staring at Mrs. Lilith. The woman nodded still looking at Alina.

"Then what happened?" The woman asked.

"Mrs. Lilith was trying to make Clare step down from being in the military. Clarissa kept saying no, in the end one of her higher ups, Captain Levi, came and cleared it up. When Clarissa and I were having our reunion they were talking. Then after, Captain Levi said that Mrs. Lilith and I would be staying at the Survey Corps base. A little after that Section Commander Hange wanted to speak with Clarissa alone. I only assume they were talking about me, or Mrs. Lilith." Alina said. Clarissa took in a deep breath and nodded. Then she looked over at Alina. Clarissa took a couple of short breaths to stop herself from passing out.

"Commander Hange and I were speaking about my name. Because I had an arrest warrant out for me at that time, so she was seeing if I was the person the warrant was for." Clarissa said. Alina and the woman nodded. Alina came back to stand beside Clarissa. Clarissa didn't notice it, she was to focused on keep herself in one piece.

Something happened and the judge stood up. Clarissa took a deep breath to be able to look up at her. It was hard because her vision was fuzzy. She could hardly see anything.

"I have decided that Mrs. Lilith Everdeen is guilty of child neglect. I sentence her to three years in jail." The judge said before she walked out of the room. Clarissa took one more good look at Alina. She was smiling, Clarissa smiled. Then her knees gave out. The whole world around her turned black. The last thing she remembered is falling onto the ground.


	21. Chapter 21

Clarissa stood in a field as her hair flew all over face. She lifted her hand and tucked her hair behind her ear. The fields in front of her were full with purple flowers swaying in the wind. The sun was bright and warm on her skin.

"Clarissa! You are going to be late for dinner!" Her mother called from the doorway of a cozy cabin. Clarissa looked back at her, she was a tall slim woman with gorgeous straight black hair and stunning grey eyes. Similar to Clarissa's.

"Sorry! I was distracted." Clarissa said starting to walk to the cabin. Her pink skirt was flowing in wind. When Clarissa got into the cabin she set her weaved basket full of flowers onto the table. Her older sister Evelyn walked, more like glided, down the stairs, her black hair was tied into a half up half down look. She was wearing a long white dress, one that a bride would wear.

"You look like you are getting married. There isn't a boy you haven't told me about, is there?" Their mother asked standing in the kitchen winking at Evelyn. Evelyn smiled and shook her head then she walked up to the table where Clarissa was.

"No, she is just looking like the goddess she is." Clarissa said smiling at Evelyn. Evelyn smiled and grabbed the flowers out of the basket then she put them into a vase.

"You should look at yourself. If you wore a skirt that wasn't covered in dirt, you would look ten times better than me!" Evelyn said grabbing plates and cutlery and placing them down on the table. Clarissa grabbed the basket and moved it to a table beside the back door. Clarissa looked down at her skirt, the bottom half was brown with dirt from her walking in the fields right after it rained.

"So I am one skirt away from reaching god level?" Clarissa joked setting the vase full of the beautiful purple flowers onto the table.

"Yes, right now you look like a poor girl that spent the whole day in fields." Evelyn said smiling at Clarissa.

"Because that is what I am! Speaking of which, where is Dad and Will?" Clarissa asked her mother. Her mother turned around from the kitchen and walked up to the table to join the two young woman.

"Will is working in the fields. Dad has gone to the market to buy you a birthday present." Her mother said smiling at Clarissa. Clarissa raised her eyebrow.

"Really?" Clarissa asked with a genuine wide grin. Her mother nodded.

"You are turning eighteen! It is a large day." Evelyn said. Clarissa looked over at Evelyn and smiled. Clarissa was the middle child, henceforth, middle child syndrome. Her family was always extremely poor. Just having enough to pay for the house, and for food. Hardly enough money for pleasure items.

"For that reason, I am going to change in something less farm girl." Clarissa said then she ran up the stairs to her and Evelyn's shared room. Clarissa went into Evelyn's closet looking for clothes, because Clarissa didn't have any "fancy" clothes. She found a long red dress, Clarissa put it on then looked at herself in the mirror.

The dress had a belt around her waist, and it went all the way down to her feet. Her hair was braided and sitting on one side of her shoulder. Clarissa looked at herself, she felt comfortable wearing red, it just felt right. Then she walked down the stairs, when she got to the bottom of the stairs Will, her younger brother walked through the door. He was tall and had short brown hair with green eyes, he was a carbon copy of his father who was standing right beside him.

"Hey Dad, hey Will." Clarissa said walking up to the table. Her mother was bringing over a pot of soup to the table and she sat it down.

"Happy birthday Rose!" Will said with a smiling walking up to the table. Clarissa smiled and nodded. Her brother always called her Rose, it had something to do with her love of flowers, and her love of red.

"Go change, you look disgusting!" Clarissa said looking Will up and down. He had dirt all over his clothes. He nodded and then he went into a room in the back of the cabin. For some reason he got his own room, it always made Clarissa bitter.

"Clare, be nice to your brother!" Her mother scolded. Clarissa looked over at her mother and smiled.

"Sorry," Clarissa said sitting down at the table. Evelyn sat down at the table beside Clarissa. After her mother set some more food on the table she sat down at the other side of the table. Will walked out of his room then he sat down beside his mother. Their father took a seat at the end of the table.

"So what is your birthday wish?" Her father asked as he spooned some soup into his bowl. Clarissa took a second to think as she took a bun off of the table.

"Well, I want all the titans to die, but I think that is asking for too much." Clarissa said with a laugh. "So if I can't have that, I would want to spend time with my family. Therefor, I already have my wish." Clarissa smiled, Evelyn put her arm around Clarissa's shoulder and pulled her close. Then she kissed her on the forehead.

"You are definitely too kind to be real." Evelyn said returning to her food.

"Don't give her too much credit!" Her father said causing everyone at the table to smile.

"Okay then, thank you for keeping my life so amazing that I am not touched by the horrible realities of life. _And_, because of that I am not a grouchy old woman." Clarissa said taking a bite of her bun.

Ever since she was twelve or thirteen, she had found phycology very interesting. The way you would be able to understand a person's struggles just by listening to them for an hour. She had been able to find cheap physcology books at the market, but they never had everything. The couple of things she did really learn about was personality. And how people's environments are what mold their personality.

Would Clarissa be any different now if her life wasn't so perfect?

"Clare, you should really take up psychology! You already have read a lot of books on it." Will said. Clarissa shrugged and spooned some soup into her bowl.

"It would cost money for me to be mentored. I have enough information for normal life, anyway." Clarissa taking a bite of her soup. Her mother and father looked between each other. Clarissa straightened her posture, confused of what is going on.

"I spent the whole day going to Trost. I found someone willing to mentor you, if we brought them two loaves of bread a week." Her father said. Clarissa stopped eating and spit out some of the soup. Then she put her hand in front of her mouth. Will was laughing, Evelyn was up already getting her a cloth. Evelyn handed her a cloth and she wiped off her mouth.

"What…?" Clarissa asked looking at her mother for some sort of confirmation.

"Yeah, he said you were really smart and it would be an honor to teach you." Her mother said as Evelyn sat down. Her father picked up his bag and opened it.

"He said for me to give this to you." Her father said taking a book out of his bag. Then he handed it to Clarissa, she looked over then she smiled and looked back up at her father. "You have to have to read that whole book and memorize by next week, when you go meet with him."

"Okay, so if I have this right. You got someone to mentor me in physcology, then I got this book and I have to memorize all of it?" Clarissa asked, her mother and father nodded. Clarissa stood up.

"Sorry, I have to go for a walk in Shiganshina. I need to start studying!" Clarissa said walking over to the door and slipped on her white flats.

"Have fun Clare! Be back by sunset!" Her mother called as Clarissa walked out of the cabin. She walked along the dirt path that lead to Shiganshina. It was still windy, but not too much. The ground was already drying from the morning rain. Enough so that she could avoid the mud puddles. Clarissa opened the book and she began to read it as she walked. She got to the gate and the same four drunk guards were sitting around at a table.

Clarissa was sure to close the book and look up as she passed them. When they saw Clarissa, one of them stood up. His cheeks were pink showing that he is drunk. It would be obvious just by the way he walked.

"You are eighteen right Clare, why don't you meet us later?" He asked. Clarissa shook her head and kept walking.

"Call me back when you have titans for me to kill!" Clarissa said waving at them as she walked down the road.

"You are not even in the military!" He called after her. Clarissa smiled and shook her head.

"No, but I can probably kill titans better than you can." Clarissa said, then she turned around and walked down the road. Clarissa opened her book again and began to read through it. The book had one thousand pages, she would have to read all day and all night to read through it all by next week.

Clarissa began to walk down a vacant road. There were one or two people, but Clarissa was so focused on her book that she didn't notice until she ran into one of them. Her book fell to the floor, she bent down and picked it up. The person she bumped into had blonde, shoulder length hair. He had blue eyes and a worried expression.

"Sorry!" He said. Clarissa stood up and dusted off her book.

"It is okay, I should probably look where I am going." Clarissa said with a smile. Behind him, two people were walking down the path. The guy had brown hair and green eyes, the girl had the same eyes and hair that Clarissa had. It was almost like looking in a mirror.

"You are reading a phycology book?" He asked looking at her book. Clarissa looked down at the book, like she needed confirmation for herself, then she looked up at him and nodded.

"Yes, I meet with my mentor next week." Clarissa said as the other two approached.

"So you know stuff to do with brains?" The other boy asked. Clarissa shrugged.

"Kind of, I already know a lot about personality, and the science of it." Clarissa said, the blonde boy nodded.

"What do you know about it?" He asked. Everyone looked at Clarissa waiting for an answer. It took her a moment to put it into words.

"The basics of it is that someone's personality will change depending on what goes on in their life. Like me, I have been extremely lucky my whole life, to get what I need. Say, if the walls were broken into and you went through the traumatic experience of seeing a titan. You could completely change, either into a cold-hearted murder, or a frightened person with severe PTSD. Or you could just stay the same, it is really interesting." Clarissa said with a smile.

"So what do you think would happen to you if something like that did happen?" The blonde asked. Clarissa took a moment to think, she had to evaluate herself like she did with the rest of her family. She knew Evelyn and Dad would turn into the cold-hearted kind. Will would stay the same, and her mother would get severe PTSD. But her?

"Personally, I think I would turn cold. I am such a family person, that if my family died, I would harden to try and not feel how bad it actually hurt to not have them. I would probably join the Military, and help, since I don't think farm work would be my choice, since I did it my whole life and it would remind me of my family." Clarissa said, she realized that that was pretty much telling her life story, if anyone cared to analyze it more than just the surface.

"You want to join the military?" The brown-haired boy asked. Clarissa shrugged, it was hard to say yes or no. She would love to be able to help humanity, but at the same time she couldn't leave her family.

"Kind of, I would if I didn't have my family. But they need me, so I can't." Clarissa said. The girl that was a copy of Clarissa looked to the brown hair boy.

"She cares about her family." She said, then Clarissa looked back to the blonde-haired boy. Then he put his hand out.

"Sorry I didn't introduce myself, I am Armin Arlert." He said, Clarissa smiled and shook his hand. The other two took a step forward.

"I am Eren, Eren Yeager." The brown-haired boy said. Clarissa recognized that name from the doctor Yeager, he must be his son. The girl stepped forward.

"I am Mikasa Ackerman." She said. Clarissa froze as she stared at the girl. Clarissa's last name was Ackerman, how could she have the same last name? Is she related to her?

"Your name?" The brown-haired boy, Eren, asked. Clarissa snapped out of her trance and looked at him.

"Sorry, it is Clarissa Ackerman."


	22. Chapter 22

"_Ms. Ackerman can you hear me?"_

"_Clarey! Wake up!"_

"_She is breathing, her pulse is weak."_

"_Clare! Why can't you wake up! You are alive, it isn't too much to ask for you to open your eyes!"_

"_Does she have any history of passing out?"_

"_Not that I know. Clare, please, I am begging you!" _

"_She is waking up!"_

Clarissa opened her eyes slowly. Her head was heavy, and stuffy. She couldn't see any images clearly. But she could see an outline of three people. Her hand went up to chest to grab onto her necklace.

"Clare! You are up!" A voice said. Clarissa was too out of it to even recognize the voice of Alina. Clarissa tried to sit up but she felt like something was holding her down. Her body was so weak.

"Ms. Ackerman, can you hear me? If you can please let us know." Another voice said. Clarissa closed her eyes and nodded as much as she could move. Her head was almost too much to move. She took a slow breath then opened her eyes again. This time she could see that Alina was kneeling beside her. Tears were running down her cheeks.

"Have you passed out before?" The other voice asked again. Clarissa looked over at who it was. It was some person that was part of the jury.

"Once," Clarissa managed to say. Then she closed her eyes again.

"Why?" The woman asked.

"Nothing medical," Clarissa said. The woman nodded, but Clarissa couldn't see it.

"Okay, when was the last time you ate, or drank?" The woman asked. Clarissa took a moment to think.

"Three days, I think." Clarissa said. Then she sat up. When she opened her eyes she could tell that everyone was looking at her. Then she got a large headache. She grabbed onto her head. "Yeah, I may be dehydrated."


End file.
